What is NVC Compassionate Communication? How can it help me?

March 22, 2019 Elizabeth Mahaney

KeyFactsAbout NonviolentCommunication(NVC)

ProducedbyPuddleDancerPressandtheCenterforNonviolentCommunication Updated

Contents

1 Why do people find value in learning NVC?..............................................................

2 The Life-Changing Benefits of NVC ............................................................................

3 What makes NVC unique? ..........................................................................................

4 Transforming conflict with NVC..................................................................................

5 Improving relationships with NVC..............................................................................

6 Social change with NVC ..............................................................................................

7 The role of the Center for Nonviolent Communication............................................

8 About Marshall Rosenberg ........................................................................................

9 AboutPuddleDancerPress..........................................................................................

Find press kits, purchase NVC books/booklets, register for our e-newsletter, and more at: www.NonviolentCommunication.com Find trainer certification information, training, conferences, register for our newsletter and more at: www.CNVC.org

WhydopeoplefindvalueinlearningNVC?

Most of us are hungry for skills that can improve the quality of our relationships, to deepen our sense of personal empowerment or simply help us communicate more effectively. Unfortunately, most of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand and diagnose; to think and communicate in terms of what is “right“ and “wrong“ with people. At best, the habitual ways we think and speak hinder communication and create misunderstanding and frustration. And still worse, they can cause anger and pain, and may lead to violence. Without wanting to, even people with the best of intentions generate needless conflict.

NVC helps us reach beneath the surface and discover what is alive and vital within us, and how all of our actions are based on human needs that we are seeking to meet. We learn to develop a vocabulary of feelings and needs that helps us more clearly express what is going on in us, and understand what is going on it others, at any given moment. When we understand and acknowledge our needs, we develop a shared foundation for much more satisfying relationships. Join the thousands of people worldwide who have improved their relationships and their lives with this simple yet revolutionary process.

Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective tools to foster health and relationships. Nonviolent Communication connects soul to soul . . . It is the missing element in what we do.”
- Deepak Chopra, author,

How to Know God and Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

The Life-Changing Benefits of NVC

Conflict Resolution

Resolve conflicts peacefully—personal or public, domestic or international
Get to the heart of conflict and disputes quickly
Improve cooperation––listen so others are really heard
Transform criticism and blame into compassionate connection

• Prevent future pain and misunderstanding

Personal Relationships

Deepen your emotional connections
Transform judgment and criticism into understanding and connection
Listen so others are really heard
Get what you want more often without using demands, guilt or shame
Hear the needs behind whatever anyone does or says
Parenting and Families

Reduce family conflicts and sibling rivalry
Move beyond power struggles to cooperation and trust
Create a quality of connection that embodies unconditional love
Protect and nurture the autonomy of children
Motivate using “power-with” rather than “power-over” strategies
Education and Schools

Maximize the individual potential of all students
Strengthen students’ interest, retention and connection to their work
Improve safety, trust and connection in your classroom
Improve classroom teamwork, efficiency and cooperation

Strengthen classroom and teacher-parent relationships

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“Schools in which parents and teachers relate as partners — where Nonviolent Communication is part of every interaction — are communities of learning, rather than top-down, impersonal factories.”

- Riane Eisler, author, The Chalice and the Blade, Tomorrow’s Children and The Power of Partnership

The Life-Changing Benefits of NVC, continued

Personal Growth and Healing

Transform shame and depression into personal empowerment
Heal old pain
Transform unhealthy habits
Stay connected to your own needs and preferences
Eat by choice, not by habit
Organizational Effectiveness

Improve teamwork, efficiency and morale
Increase meeting productivity
Maximize the quality of your services or products
Maximize your organization’s benefit to the community
Anger Management

Transform anger before it leads to behavior you’ll regret
Discover the needs behind your anger
Learn to appreciate what triggers you and others
Identify solutions that are satisfying to everyone
Express anger in ways that connect us to others
Business Relationships

Strengthen employee morale and loyalty
Resolve workplace conflicts quickly and effectively
Reduce office stress and absenteeism
Maximize the potential of all employees
Hear and address customer needs more effectively
Offer employee evaluations that promote personal growth
Improve the effectiveness of job and college interviews
Conflict Resolution

“Nonviolent Communication is one of the most useful processes you’ll ever learn.”

- William Ury, author, Getting to Yes

Transformcriticismandblameintocompassionateconnection
Preventfuturepainandmisunderstanding
Spirituality

Connect your actions to your spiritual values
Transform enemy images and moralistic judgments
Connect to our common humanity
Overcome cultural conditioning that promotes violence
Care for your own needs first to fuel compassion for others
What Makes NVC Unique?
How is NVC different from other self-help, communication or conflict resolution tools?

Unique Assumptions—NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strate-
gies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviors taught and supported by the prevailing culture. It also as- sumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that all actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs.
It’s Simple—NVC offers an effective four-step communication process that’s easy to grasp.
More Than a Communication Model—NVC goes beyond communication techniques by showing us how to stay con- nected to the life energy in ourselves and others. It also helps us to be conscious about the impact of how we think
and how we use language in everyday conversation.
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• Resolveconflictspeacefully—personalorpublic,domesticor international

Gettotheheartofconflictanddisputesquickly
Improvecooperation––listensoothersarereallyheard

What Makes NVC Unique, continued

Broad Application—NVC is a powerful tool with a variety of applications, from interpersonal relationships to international negotiation; personal healing to conflict resolution; social change to drug/alcohol treatment; trauma recovery to prison inmate rehabilitation.
Results Are Substantial—NVC helps transform anger, destructive attitudes and habitual behaviors into more peaceful, life-serving actions. Around the globe, NVC has contributed to a significant reduction in violence in some of the most war-torn regions. NVC helps individuals, families and organizations reduce conflict, foster trust, deepen emotional connections, heal pain and strengthen personal empowerment.
Transforming Conflict with NVC

How can NVC help me reduce conflict in my life?

Develop Your Emotional Vocabulary—Improve your ability
to clearly express your feelings and needs. Your expanded emotional vocabulary will help you avoid making moralistic judgments, blaming others for your feelings, and using other strategies that often contribute to conflicts. Teach your children these skills to empower them to resolve their conflicts peacefully.
Stay Connected to Your Feelings and Needs—Prevent and reduce conflicts by learning to stay connected to your feelings and needs through self-empathy. Increase satisfying
outcomes from emotionally charged situations by entering them from a place of calm and compassion, rather than defensiveness or anger.
Break Negative, Habitual Patterns—Overcome habitual patterns that often lead to conflict. Transform thinking patterns like moralistic judgments, blame, criticism, shoulds and “have-tos” that can lead to anger, depression, guilt or shame.
Hear the Needs Behind All Behavior—NVC teaches us that all behavior—even behavior we dislike—is a strategy to meet one of the many needs we all have in common. Diminish anger, violence and conflict by connecting to the needs behind whatever anyone does or says.
Get to the Heart of Conflict Quickly—Defuse heated situa- tions before they lead to behavior you’ll regret. Use empathy to let others know they are really heard—which is often all that is needed to transform conflict into powerful connection.
Improving Relationships with NVC
How can NVC improve the quality of my personal and professional relationships?

“Nonviolent Communication is instrumental in creating an extraordinary quality of life. This compassionate and inspiring message cuts right to the heart of successful communication.”

- Anthony Robbins, author, Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

Personal and Family Relationships

Make Clear, “Doable” Requests—Get what you want more often by learning how to make requests that are
actually “doable”, easy to understand and can be done willingly.
Learn alternatives to coercive behaviors like demands, threats of punishment or promises of reward that often motivate people to fulfill our requests from a sense of fear, guilt or shame.

Find Greater Intimacy—Strengthen your connection to your partner, siblings, family and friends by more clearly understanding their values, hopes and needs.

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Improving Relationships with NVC, continued

Listen More Effectively—Learn how to listen so your part- ner, colleague or family member is confident he/she has been heard. Learn how to translate another’s negative language into feelings and needs in order to transform emotionally charged situations into powerful connections.
Stay Connected to Your Values—Deepen your personal connections by entering all interactions from a place of compassion.
Professional and Business Relationships

Lead More Effectively—NVC helps leaders let go of
“power-over” leadership styles, such as the coercive use of threats of punishment or promises of reward, which can lead to resistance and often stifle individual creativity and potential. Leaders learn a “power-with” approach that re- spects and values everyone’s needs. The NVC approach to leadership enhances personal power, strengthens teamwork and maximizes individual potential.
Provide More Meaningful Employee Evaluations—
Provide staff with more empowering, meaningful evaluations
that move beyond moralistic judgments of good/bad or
right/wrong. Instead, identify specific behaviors that are or are not meeting needs, that present clear requests and create specific agreements for future actions.
Get to the Heart of Workplace Conflict Quickly—Mediate conflict more quickly by
ensuring each person or party is really heard. Facilitate the communication of specific observations, the expression of feelings and the unmet needs that have triggered the conflict. Then create specific remedies that satisfy everyone’s needs, without compromise.
Improve Employee Morale—Improve employee morale by learning how to effectively acknowledge and value the needs of the entire workforce. Help ensure staff or colleagues are heard––often for the first time.
Social Change with NVC
What positive cultural shifts is NVC creating in the world?

An Internal Culture of Peace—Peace in the world begins with creating an internal culture of peace. NVC helps us
live peacefully in deed and word by entering any interaction from a compassionate consciousness. It also provides
us effective tools to heal pain, find mutually satisfying resolution to conflict and to get our needs met peacefully.
A New Generation of Corporate and Community Leaders—NVC is creating a new generation of leaders
who know how to empower individuals, groups and communities without using coercion, fear of punishment or demands. Employers and communities are already witnessing substantial benefits in the effectiveness of their workforce and the rate at which we progress professionally and technologically.
A New Generation of Communicators—NVC is helping establish a new generation who have better skills to express their feelings and needs, to act from a place of compassion and to establish emotional connections that put meeting needs first.
Schools That Support Students’ Emotional Safety—NVC is helping create a new movement in education rooted in the importance of teaching emotional intelligence and establishing emotional safety in the classroom. Schools and classrooms that integrate NVC are already noticing improvements in test scores, a reduction in conflicts and violence, improved workforce preparedness and an increase in civic engagement.
An Empowered Peace Activism—Marshall Rosenberg’s message helps us work for social transformation from a place of understanding and compassion, rather than a place of fear, anger or moralistic judgment. We learn to hear the needs behind all behaviors, to ground our responses in compassion and act from a desire to meet our commo needs.
A Reduction in Violence by Addressing its Cause: Unmet Needs—NVC helps us move beyond the symptoms of violence to address its root cause—unmet needs. From substance abuse to domestic violence; from emotional abuse to anger management programs; and from social work to international peacekeeping efforts—NVC gives us the tools for more powerful, effective and substantive change.
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“Marshall Rosenberg’s dynamic communication techniques transform potential conflicts into peaceful dialogues. You’ll learn simple tools to defuse arguments and create compassionate connections with your family, friends and others.”

- John Gray, Ph.D., author, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

The Role of the Center for Nonviolent Communication

What role does the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) play in spreading
peace on our planet?
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) is an international nonprofit peacemaking organization devoted to supporting the spread of Nonviolent Communication around the world. Find local, national and international training opportunities, trainer certification info, and a variety of other NVC educational materials at www.cnvc.org

Resources the Center provides:

CoordinationofMarshallRosenberg’sglobaltrainingactivities
Developmentofregionalandtheme-basedNVCprojects
NVC-relatedresearchinitiatives
NVCtrainercertificationprocesscomparabletoanindependentstudymaster’sdegreeprogram
Morethancertifiedtrainerswhoprovideworkshopsandseminarsincountrieson
sixcontinents
Enewsletter,website,andtopic-basedemaillistservsthatconnectthemovement,celebrateprogressandcontinue
tospreadNVC
What major steps is CNVC taking to decrease violence worldwide?

Training—MarshallRosenbergteachthroughouttheyear,withfocuson10nine-dayInternationalIntensive Trainings(IITs).TherigorousNVCcertificationprocesshelpsprotecttheintegrityofNVCteaching.Morethan CNVCcertifiedtrainersandhundredsmoreteachNVCincountriestopeopleeachyear.
EducationalMaterials—TheonlineNVCbookstoreatwww.nonviolentcommunication.comandCNVCbookstoreat www.cnvc.orgsellbooks,videos,audiotapesandotherlearningmaterials.
NVCProjects—Sevenregionalandtheme-basedprojectshavebeendevelopedtoprovidefocusandleadershipfor teachingNVCinaparticularapplication(suchassocialchangeandparenting)andinhigh-needgeographicloca tions.
ResearchInitiatives—CNVChasdevelopedanNVCresearchcommitteetodevelopscientificallybased,peer-reviewed researchstudiestoidentifythemeasurableimpactofNVCtraining.

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“Changing the way the world works sounds daunting, but Nonviolent Communication helps liberate us from ancient patterns of violence.”

- Francis Lefkowitz, Body and Soul

About Marshall Rosenberg

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PuddleDancerPress(PDP)isthepremierpublisherofNonviolentCommunication–relatedworks.Itsmissionistoprovide high-qualitymaterialsthathelppeoplecreateaworldinwhichallneedsaremetcompassionately.PDPistheunofficial marketingarmoftheinternationalCenterforNonviolentCommunication.Publishingrevenuesareusedtodevelop andimplementNVCpromotion,educationalmaterials,andmediacampaigns.ByworkinginpartnershipwithCNVC andNVCtrainers,teams,andlocalsupporters,PDPhascreatedacomprehensive,cost-effectivepromotioneffortthat hashelpedbringNVCtothousandsmorepeopleeachyear.

VisitthePDPwebsiteatwww.NonviolentCommunication.comtofindthefollowingresources:

Shop NVC—Continue your learning. Purchase our NVC titles online safely and conveniently. Find multiple-copy and package discounts, learn more about our authors, and read dozens of book endorsements from renowned leaders, educators, relationship experts, and more.
NVC Quick Connect e-Newsletter—Sign up today to receive our monthly e-Newsletter, filled with expert articles, resources, related news, and exclusive specials on NVC learning materials. Archived e-Newsletters are also available.
Help Share NVC—Access hundreds of valuable tools, resources, and adaptable documents to help you share NVC, form a local NVC community, coordinate NVC workshops and trainings, and promote the life-enriching benefits of NVC training to organizations and communities in your area. Visit www.helpsharenvc.com
Pressroom—Journalists and producers can access author bios and photos, press kits, and other valuable information.
About NVC—Learn more about these life-changing communication skills including an overview of the four-part process, Key Facts about NVC, and access to NVC articles.

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