Navigating the "Roommate Phase" in Relationships: Tips from a Relationship Counselor

As a relationship counselor, I often find myself discussing the challenges couples face as they navigate the different phases of their relationship. One of the most common phases couples experience is what many refer to as the "roommate phase." This phase can feel distant, routine, and lacking in the emotional and physical connection that once felt effortless.

My partner and I have faced our fair share of roommate phases, and through personal experience and professional knowledge, we've developed strategies to reignite our connection. Drawing from the wisdom of renowned relationship experts like John Gottman and the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach, here are some tips that have worked wonders for us:

1. Intentional Quality Time Set aside a specific time each night to put away distractions, especially phones, and focus solely on each other. This intentional quality time fosters open communication and strengthens emotional connection.

2. Prioritize Date Nights Spending time away from the daily grind and kids is crucial. Date nights allow you to reconnect, have fun together, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

3. Reignite Physical Intimacy Don't underestimate the power of physical affection. Make an effort to kiss and make out like you used to when your relationship was new and exciting.

4. Sync Your Bedtime Going to bed at the same time can create a sense of closeness and intimacy. It's a simple yet effective way to maintain connection and ensure quality time together.

5. Share Household Chores Teamwork makes the dream work! Sharing household chores fosters collaboration and mutual appreciation, strengthening your bond as a couple.

6. Have Meaningful Conversations Sit down and ask the tough questions:

• "Why are we drifting into the roommate phase?"

• "How can we enhance our connection?"

• "What can we do differently to come back together?"

• "Here's what I need from you. What do you need from me?"

7. Embrace the Little Things Small gestures can make a big difference. Whether it's a good morning kiss or a surprise love note, these little acts of kindness and affection go a long way in maintaining connection.

8. Acknowledge the Phase Recognize that the roommate phase is just that – a phase. It's a natural part of many long-term relationships and an opportunity for growth and reconnection.

Gottman's Insights: John Gottman emphasizes the importance of friendship and fondness in relationships. Cultivate a culture of appreciation and admiration for each other. Remember the qualities that you love and appreciate in your partner and express them regularly.

Emotionally Focused Therapy Tips: Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on creating a secure emotional bond between partners. Validate each other's feelings and emotions, and be open to vulnerability. Create a safe space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

In conclusion, navigating the roommate phase requires effort, communication, and a commitment to your relationship. By incorporating these tips into your daily life and embracing the guidance of relationship experts like Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy, you can reignite the spark and strengthen your connection with your partner. Remember, every phase is an opportunity to grow and deepen your love for each other.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

Book Appointment

Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

Exploring the Transformative Power of Expressive Arts Therapy: Healing Beyond Words

In the realm of therapy and healing, words are often seen as the primary tool for communication and understanding. However, for many individuals, especially teens and families facing complex emotional challenges, verbalization can be a daunting task. Enter expressive arts therapy, a profound approach that harnesses the power of creative expression to delve into the depths of the human psyche, offering healing and transformation where words may fall short.

Expressive arts therapy is a holistic therapeutic approach that integrates various forms of creative expression, such as visual arts, music, dance, drama, and poetry, into the therapeutic process. It invites individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences through non-verbal means, providing a safe and supportive space for self-expression and reflection.

One of the most significant advantages of expressive arts therapy, particularly in the context of working with teens and family therapy, is its ability to bypass the limitations of verbal communication. Adolescence is a time of profound emotional turmoil, as teens navigate the complexities of identity formation, peer relationships, academic pressures, and familial dynamics. Oftentimes, verbalizing these experiences can be challenging, as adolescents may struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings or fear being judged or misunderstood.

Expressive arts therapy offers an alternative avenue for expression, allowing teens to communicate and process their emotions through creative mediums that resonate with them. Whether it's painting, sculpting, writing, or movement, these artistic outlets provide a means for teens to externalize their inner world, explore their identities, and make sense of their experiences in a non-threatening manner.

Furthermore, expressive arts therapy can be particularly effective in the context of family therapy, where communication breakdowns and unresolved conflicts may hinder progress. Family dynamics are intricate and multifaceted, often involving deeply ingrained patterns of behavior and communication that can be difficult to address through traditional talk therapy alone.

By incorporating expressive arts techniques into family therapy sessions, therapists can encourage family members to express themselves authentically and engage with one another in new and meaningful ways. Collaborative art projects, role-playing exercises, and guided storytelling can help family members explore their relationships, foster empathy and understanding, and work towards resolving conflicts in a creative and constructive manner.

Moreover, expressive arts therapy has been shown to facilitate deeper connections and promote emotional healing within families, as shared creative experiences can foster a sense of solidarity and mutual support. Through the process of creating art together, family members can develop new perspectives, strengthen their bonds, and embark on a journey of healing and growth as a cohesive unit.

In addition to its benefits for teens and families, expressive arts therapy offers a range of advantages for individuals of all ages and backgrounds. It provides a unique opportunity for self-exploration and personal growth, offering a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to connect with their innermost thoughts and emotions. Whether used as a standalone therapy or in conjunction with other therapeutic modalities, expressive arts therapy holds immense potential for fostering healing, resilience, and transformation in the lives of those who engage with it. This unique approach stands as a testament to the profound impact of creative expression on mental health and well-being. By embracing the transformative power of art, individuals, teens, and families can embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth, transcending the limitations of language to connect with themselves and one another on a deeper level. As we continue to explore innovative approaches to therapy and healing, expressive arts therapy shines as a beacon of hope, offering solace, inspiration, and healing to all who seek it.

By Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

Harnessing the Mind-Body Connection: Somatic Movement Practices in Therapy for Depression and Anxiety

In the realm of mental health and therapy, the mind-body connection holds immense potential for healing and transformation. Traditional talk therapy approaches often focus on verbal communication and cognitive restructuring to address conditions such as depression and anxiety. However, somatic movement practices, including techniques like shaking and mindfulness, offer a unique pathway to healing by tapping into the profound interplay between the body and the mind.

Depression and anxiety are complex disorders that can manifest not only as psychological symptoms but also as physical sensations of tension, lethargy, and discomfort. Traditional therapeutic approaches often overlook the somatic aspects of these conditions, focusing primarily on addressing cognitive distortions and emotional patterns. However, by incorporating somatic movement practices into therapy sessions, therapists can help clients access deeper layers of healing and resilience.

Somatic movement practices encompass a range of techniques that engage the body in the therapeutic process, facilitating the release of physical tension, emotional blockages, and traumatic memories stored within the body. One such practice is shaking, which involves rhythmic, involuntary movements of the body that promote the discharge of stress and tension. Through shaking, individuals can release pent-up emotions, activate the body's natural relaxation response, and cultivate a greater sense of embodiment and presence.

Mindfulness techniques also play a pivotal role in somatic movement practices, offering individuals a powerful tool for cultivating self-awareness, acceptance, and emotional regulation. Mindfulness involves the intentional focus of attention on present-moment experiences, such as bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions, without judgment or attachment. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can develop greater resilience to stress, increase their capacity for emotional self-regulation, and cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace and well-being.

In the context of therapy for depression and anxiety, somatic movement practices offer several key benefits:

1.     Regulation of the nervous system: Somatic movement practices, including shaking and mindfulness, have been shown to regulate the autonomic nervous system, promoting a state of relaxation and calmness. By engaging the body in therapeutic interventions, individuals can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the stress response and promotes a sense of safety and security.

2.     Release of tension and trauma: Depression and anxiety often involve the accumulation of physical tension and unresolved trauma in the body. Somatic movement practices provide a safe and effective means for releasing these somatic holdings, allowing individuals to discharge stored stress and trauma and restore a sense of balance and vitality.

3.     Integration of mind and body: The mind-body connection lies at the heart of somatic movement practices, emphasizing the interdependence of physical sensations, emotions, and cognitive processes. By integrating the mind and body in therapy, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of the ways in which their thoughts, emotions, and bodily experiences intersect, paving the way for holistic healing and growth.

4.     Empowerment and self-expression: Somatic movement practices empower individuals to reclaim agency over their bodies and emotions, offering a tangible means for expressing and processing their inner experiences. Through movement, individuals can tap into their innate capacity for self-expression, creativity, and resilience, fostering a sense of empowerment and self-efficacy in the face of depression and anxiety.

These movement practices offer a holistic approach to therapy that honors the interconnectedness of the mind and body. By incorporating these techniques clients can access deeper layers of healing, resilience, and self-awareness. As we continue to explore innovative approaches to mental health and well-being, the integration of somatic movement practices stands as a testament to the transformative power of the mind-body connection in facilitating healing, growth, and transformation.

By Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

Embracing the Full Spectrum: The Power of Increasing Our Window of Tolerance

In the journey of life, we encounter a myriad of emotions, ranging from joy and contentment to sadness and anger. While we often celebrate the positive emotions and strive to cultivate them, the negative ones are frequently met with resistance and avoidance. However, what if I told you that embracing the full spectrum of emotions, including the difficult ones, could lead to greater resilience, freedom, and acceptance?

Our society tends to label negative emotions as something to be avoided or suppressed. We're taught to seek happiness at all costs and to view sadness, anger, or fear as unwelcome intruders in our lives. However, this avoidance can inadvertently lead to a host of harmful behaviors and experiences, as we try to numb or escape from our discomfort rather than confronting it head-on.

The truth is, our bodies are designed to experience a wide range of emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. Each emotion serves a purpose, offering valuable insights into our inner world and guiding us towards growth and healing. When we suppress or deny our emotions, we disrupt this natural balance, causing tension and disconnection within ourselves.

Increasing our window of tolerance for difficult emotions involves cultivating the capacity to hold and navigate these feelings with compassion and curiosity, rather than judgment or avoidance. It's about acknowledging that pain and discomfort are inevitable parts of the human experience and learning to embrace them as integral aspects of our journey.

But what does it mean to embrace difficult emotions? It's important to understand that acceptance doesn't necessarily mean agreement or approval. Rather, it's about acknowledging the reality of our experiences without trying to change or control them. When we allow ourselves to sit with our discomfort, we create space for healing and transformation to unfold.

Embracing difficult emotions also requires us to cultivate a sense of self-compassion and resilience. Instead of berating ourselves for feeling sad or anxious, we can offer ourselves kindness and understanding, recognizing that our emotions are valid and deserving of acknowledgment. Through this process, we develop greater resilience in the face of adversity, learning to weather life's storms with grace and resilience.

Moreover, embracing difficult emotions can lead to a profound sense of freedom and authenticity. When we no longer fear or suppress our feelings, we become more aligned with our true selves, embracing the fullness of who we are, flaws and all. This authenticity allows us to live more fully and authentically, connecting with others on a deeper level and experiencing life with greater richness and depth. By embracing the full spectrum of our emotional experience, we open ourselves up to a life of greater resilience and freedom. Rather than viewing pain and discomfort as enemies to be avoided, let us embrace them as valuable teachers on the journey toward wholeness and self-discovery. As we learn to tolerate and embrace all that life has to offer, we unlock the door to true healing and transformation.

By Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

Understanding Emotion Dismissing in Relationships: Effects on Partners & Strategies for Healing

If you've ever found yourself feeling shut off by your partner, it can be extremely hurtful. Sharing our innermost thoughts and emotions with our partner is a vulnerable yet meaningful act. However, when met with indifference, invalidation, or dismissal from our partner, this vulnerability can lead to deep wounds and a sense of emotional disconnection. In this blog post, we'll delve into the impact of emotion dismissing in relationships and explore strategies for nurturing a more empathetic and validating connection with our partners.

What is Emotion Dismissing? 

Emotion dismissing refers to the act of downplaying or disregarding the feelings and emotions expressed by one's partner. It can manifest in various forms, including outright denial of the validity of the emotions, belittling the significance of the feelings, or ignoring them altogether. This behavior can occur consciously or unconsciously and often stems from a lack of emotional awareness, communication skills, or empathy.

Impact on Relationships

For the partner experiencing emotion dismissing, the effects can be deeply distressing and invalidating. They may feel unheard, misunderstood, and unimportant in the relationship. Each instance of dismissal can chip away at their sense of self-worth, leaving them questioning the validity of their emotions and their place within the partnership. Over time, these repeated dismissals can erode their self-esteem and confidence in expressing their feelings authentically. This erosion of trust and emotional safety can lead to a gradual withdrawal, as they begin to protect themselves from further hurt by withholding their emotions or withdrawing from emotional intimacy altogether. Additionally, unresolved emotions may accumulate, resulting in heightened conflict and distance in the relationship, as the unresolved tensions simmer beneath the surface, waiting to erupt.

Conversely, for the partner engaging in emotion dismissing, their behavior may stem from a sense of overwhelm and a need to protect themselves from the discomfort of the feelings being shared. However, in their attempt to shield themselves from discomfort, they inadvertently inflict harm on their partner. They also may struggle to find validity in their partner's perspective, perceiving it as utterly ridiculous. Their dismissive responses create a pattern of invalidation and conflict, further eroding the emotional connection and trust within the relationship. Over time, this cycle can lead to feelings of guilt, disconnection, and relational distress for both partners, as they find themselves caught in a downward spiral of misunderstanding and hurt.

Strategies for Healing and Navigating Emotion Dismissing

Emotion dismissing often stems from our own discomfort with emotions, feelings of overwhelm, or a lack of confidence in handling our partner's feelings. Learning to validate our partner is a crucial skill in nurturing connection and trust. By acknowledging and holding space for our partner's emotions, regardless of our agreement, we create a profound sense of understanding and support. Cultivating this emotional awareness enables us to deepen our understanding of our own and our partner's emotions. Building a culture of emotional safety in our relationship, where both partners feel safe expressing themselves, is essential for maintaining closeness and connection. This may involve preparing ourselves to respond to challenging feelings with empathy and understanding. Developing confidence in our ability to manage difficult emotions is key to navigating these challenges together. It is also important to note that emotion dismissing can result from misinterpretations of our partner's expressions, leading us to feel attacked. Ultimately, it is through building a foundation of mutual respect that a safe space for honest expression can be created. 

Seeking guidance from a therapist can help clarify these underlying reasons and provide support for making different choices in how we engage with our partner's emotions. If you're ready to explore these concepts further and embark on your journey towards healthier relational dynamics, you can reach out today and sign up for therapy using my link below.

Written by Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I 

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

How to Use a Super Bill for Potential Reimbursement in Therapy

Starting Therapy

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, CCTP, NCC, Ph.D.

Learn all about leveraging a super bill to maximize insurance reimbursement for your counseling sessions at South Tampa Therapy.

Counseling is a vital investment in your mental health, well-being, and interpersonal connections. If you're curious about utilizing insurance coverage for therapy, continue reading to discover our FAQs or reach out to us at 813-240-3237.

How to Utilize Insurance with South Tampa Therapy:

At South Tampa Therapy, we only accept United, Aetna, and Cigna. We also presently do not accept insurance directly from any other insurance company. Instead, clients pay for online or in person therapy sessions upfront, with charges processed via their card on file. As an out-of-network provider, reimbursement isn't guaranteed unless explicitly outlined in your policy. However, we provide a super bill for potential partial reimbursement. Before commencing services, we advise contacting your insurance to inquire about out-of-network coverage. Should you prefer an in-network provider, we're happy to assist with referrals.

Key Questions to Ask Your Insurance Before Starting with South Tampa Therapy:

Contact your insurance's member services and inquire about out-of-network coverage for telehealth mental health services. Clarify:

• Deductible status and amount remaining.

• Coverage limit for sessions annually.

• Reimbursement rates for CPT codes 90834 and 90837.

• Coverage for Z codes pertaining to couples therapy.

• Co-payment details (if applicable).

• Requirements for prior authorization or primary care provider approval.

• Super bill submission process, including deadlines.

• Correct address for reimbursement checks.

Understanding the Super Bill:

A super bill serves as a detailed record of therapy services received, facilitating potential reimbursement. It must include:

• Client and therapist details.

• Statement number and issuance date.

• Diagnosis and corresponding code.

• Service specifics and fees paid.

Points to Consider Before Submitting a Super Bill:

• Reimbursement necessitates a clinical diagnosis from DSM–5 or ICD-10.

• Couples therapy may not be reimbursed by insurance due to diagnostic requirements.

• Discuss any diagnosis-related concerns with your therapist.

Submitting Your Super Bill:

Most insurers mandate submitting super bills within 90 to 180 days to meet timely filing requirements. Options include:

1. Mail: Obtain the insurer's mailing address and allow ample time for delivery.

2. Fax: Ensure privacy by avoiding public or work fax machines.

3. Online Portal: Utilize the insurer's secure portal for faster submission.

Post-Submission Expectations:

Insurers typically take 2-4 weeks to process super bills. Reimbursement may cover session costs minus co-pays or contribute towards deductibles. In case of denial, contact your insurer for clarification.

By optimizing your understanding of super bills and insurance processes, you can navigate potential reimbursement for therapy sessions effectively. For further assistance, reach out to South Tampa Therapy 813-240-3237.

Trusting the Process: The Right Mindset for Therapy

What happens when you come into therapy, the first session has ended, and perhaps things don’t feel any better? It can be hard to walk through the process of therapy when we don’t know what to expect or how to cope with the moments that feel hard. What we anticipate from therapy shapes how we perceive and interpret our sessions. Our beliefs about therapy, our therapist, and the effectiveness of the process have a big impact on our experience of it. 

I hope this article brings you reassurance, empowers you to fully engage in therapy, and inspires hope as you navigate your own unique journey. Therapy holds immense value and can indeed serve as the catalyst for the change you seek. I believe these three shifts in perspective can help you develop a mindset that will enable you to get the most out of therapy.

1.     Embrace the Power of Expression

Often, we underestimate the profound impact of having a dedicated space to express ourselves freely, without fear of judgment. While our loved ones may offer support, they might not always possess the necessary tools required to fully understand our experiences. Your therapist is trained to fully immerse themselves in your perspective, offering a safe haven for you to share openly. This commitment is unique because, often, people may not know how to create the supportive environment you deeply desire. It's empowering to acknowledge that you have this sanctuary and someone who is adept at empathy, validation, and impartiality. Simply having a safe space to express can be incredibly therapeutic—it allows us to release pent-up emotions, process our thoughts, and receive the support we crave.

2.     Communicate If Something's Not Working

At times, there might be thoughts lingering in your mind that feel challenging to share with your therapist. If something isn't working or doesn't feel helpful, don't hesitate to discuss it openly. Sharing these concerns can help your therapist better understand your needs and tailor the treatment plan accordingly. Bring forth your fears, worries, and genuine emotions to your therapist—they are equipped to handle it and can provide the support you require. Whether it's frustration over the perceived slow progress or other difficulties, sharing these emotions with your therapist can offer them the opportunity to guide you through them. Occasionally, we may encounter less-than-ideal experiences in therapy where we don't feel properly cared for. This can be deeply disheartening and shake our confidence in the therapy process. However, I encourage you to give therapy another chance. Not every therapist will be the right fit for you, and that's perfectly okay. But remember, this doesn't reflect negatively on therapy as a whole. Therapy can be effective and transformative if you're committed to it. So, consider this your reminder to persevere, even when the journey feels challenging or doesn't meet your expectations. It's also okay to take a break from therapy and return when you're ready. I like to think of each therapy session as planting a seed. While we may not witness immediate growth, with time and nurturing, we can observe positive changes blossoming in our lives.

3.     Give Therapy the Time It Deserves

Therapy isn't a quick fix; it's a gradual process that unfolds over time, sometimes more time than we'd prefer. It's essential to remember that your therapist is human—they can't read your mind or predict your experiences. Making assumptions based on past experiences, whether theirs or others, can be harmful. Each individual is unique, with distinct needs and layers that require exploration. Your therapist needs time to understand who you are and what you're going through fully. They must carefully process and conceptualize your experiences to offer effective support. So, if progress seems slow, remember it's a sign that your therapist is approaching your care with diligence and consideration. Rest assured that even if issues aren't resolved immediately or the first strategies provided don't seem effective, change takes time. There's hope and power in the therapeutic process—real transformation occurs when we deeply understand and connect with the insights gained. Your therapist's role isn't to overwhelm you with information but to guide you toward self-discovery and growth collaboratively. Trust in the process, and with patience, positive change will unfold.

Written by Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I 

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

The Gottman Approach: Understanding the Role of Proprioception and Homunculus in Relationship Dynamics

Introduction: In the realm of relationship counseling and therapy, the Gottman Approach stands out as a beacon of empirical research and practical strategies for fostering healthy, lasting connections. While many are familiar with the Gottman Method's emphasis on communication skills and emotional attunement, there's another crucial aspect often overlooked: proprioception and homunculus. In this blog post, we'll delve into why these concepts are essential in understanding and improving relationship dynamics according to the Gottman Approach.

Understanding Proprioception: Proprioception refers to the body's ability to sense its position, movement, and actions in space. It's what allows us to navigate the world without constantly looking at our limbs or surroundings. In the context of relationships, proprioception plays a fundamental role in how individuals perceive and respond to each other's physical presence and movements.

The Importance of Proprioception in Relationships: In intimate relationships, proprioception influences everything from nonverbal communication to physical touch and intimacy. Couples who are attuned to each other's proprioceptive cues can establish a deeper sense of connection and understanding without relying solely on verbal communication.

For example, a simple gesture like reaching out to hold hands or offering a comforting hug can convey reassurance, support, and love without the need for words. Likewise, being mindful of how our own body language and movements impact our partner's proprioceptive awareness can foster empathy and mutual respect in the relationship.

Exploring the Homunculus: The concept of the homunculus, derived from neuroscience, refers to a "map" of the body represented in the brain. It illustrates how different parts of the body are neurologically connected to specific areas of the brain, with certain regions being more sensitive or responsive than others.

In the context of relationships, the homunculus reminds us that physical touch and sensory experiences are deeply intertwined with emotional and psychological well-being. When partners engage in activities that stimulate their partner's homunculus – such as gentle caresses, massages, or shared physical activities – they activate neural pathways associated with pleasure, bonding, and attachment.

Practical Applications in the Gottman Approach: So, how does the Gottman Approach incorporate proprioception and homunculus awareness into couples therapy and relationship interventions? Here are a few key strategies:

1. Mindful Touch: Encouraging couples to engage in mindful touch exercises can enhance proprioceptive awareness and promote emotional connection. Activities such as hand-holding, back rubs, or synchronized movements can foster intimacy and closeness.

2. Sensory Exploration: Encouraging couples to explore each other's sensory preferences and sensitivities can deepen their understanding of each other's needs and desires. This may involve experimenting with different textures, temperatures, or sensations to enhance pleasure and connection.

3. Nonverbal Communication: Helping couples become more attuned to each other's nonverbal cues – such as body language, facial expressions, and physical gestures – can improve communication and conflict resolution skills. By paying attention to proprioceptive signals, partners can better regulate their own emotions and respond empathically to their partner's needs.

Conclusion: Incorporating proprioception and homunculus awareness into couples therapy can enrich the Gottman Approach and enhance its effectiveness in promoting healthy, fulfilling relationships. By understanding the profound impact of physical touch, sensory experiences, and nonverbal communication on relationship dynamics, couples can cultivate deeper intimacy, trust, and connection in their partnership.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

Book Appointment

Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

Embracing Valentine’s Day: A Pathway to Deeper Connection in Your Relationships

This article is not just for those in romantic relationships; if you're single, this discussion is for you too.

In the realm of relationships, the mention of Valentine's Day often sparks varied reactions. Some eagerly anticipate the romantic gestures and heartfelt exchanges, while others may view it with skepticism or even disdain at the perceived commercialization of the holiday. But what if we approached Valentine's Day with a fresh perspective, seeing it as an opportunity to enhance our connection with our partner?

At the core of every thriving relationship lies the foundation of positive interaction. Moments of intimacy, affection, and shared joy serve as vital threads that weave the fabric of our bond. While it's tempting to subscribe to the notion that "every day is Valentine's Day," the reality is that life's complexities can sometimes overshadow these moments of tenderness. Dr. John Gottman's research underscores the importance of maintaining a ratio of five positive interactions to every negative one in relationships. This imbalance reflects our brain's tendency to weigh negative experiences more heavily, highlighting the significance of actively cultivating positive moments whenever possible.

Valentine's Day, amidst its commercial trappings, can serve as an poignant reminder to prioritize our connection with our partner. It prompts us to pause amidst life's hustle and bustle, to reflect on the state of our relationship and to celebrate the love and affection we share. Whether it evokes feelings of warmth and closeness or highlights areas for growth, Valentine's Day offers a valuable opportunity for introspection and renewal.

It's essential to recognize that expressions of love and intimacy are as diverse as the individuals in a relationship. While grand gestures may resonate with some, others may find solace in simpler, more intimate moments. What truly matters is the intention behind these gestures—the conscious effort to demonstrate love, appreciation, and admiration for our partner.

Admittedly, disappointment or disillusionment with Valentine's Day is not uncommon. The pressure to conform to societal expectations or the fear of falling short can taint our perception of the holiday. Yet, it's crucial to embrace these feelings with compassion and understanding, recognizing that they do not diminish the potential for meaningful connection in the future.

Now, you might be wondering, "What if I'm single?" or "What if my partner and I are not in a good place?"

It’s important to recognize the emotions that Valentine's Day can stir up. The idealized, couple- centric nature of the holiday can magnify our longing for the things we want but do not have. When past hurt lingers or our current relationship feels disconnected, it can be challenging to find joy in such a day.

While these feelings are entirely valid, I encourage you to consider a fresh perspective. Within our vulnerabilities lie opportunities for growth and healing.

Love takes on many forms, extending beyond romantic bonds. Valentine’s Day offers a chance to build meaningful connection in all our relationships. Whether it's arranging a girls' night, writing a note to your daughter, or sharing a quiet breakfast with dad, it’s an opportunity to express appreciation and affection intentionally—to those we love and to ourselves.

Recall the innocence and joy of Valentine's Day in childhood, where receiving candy and tiny store- bought notes sparked boundless delight. Why should that joy diminish with age? Perhaps amidst romantic expectations, lies an opportunity to reconnect with love's purest essence.

Valentine's Day can be an invitation to embrace all of the meaningful connections in our lives. By opening our hearts to love's diverse expressions, we enrich our experience of them, transcending coupledom to embrace the beauty of love in all its manifestations.

Ultimately, the essence of Valentine's Day lies not in extravagant gifts or elaborate displays of affection, but in the genuine intention to cherish and nurture our relationships. So, whether you're a fervent supporter of the holiday or a skeptic at heart, may this serve as an invitation to approach Valentine's Day with an open mind and a willingness to cultivate deeper intimacy and connection with someone you love. After all, love, in its myriad of forms, is always worth celebrating.

Written By Chelsea Reeves, MFTI

Nurturing Love Through Conflict: The Gottman Approach to Fighting Right

Introduction: Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, but how couples navigate and resolve their differences can determine the strength and longevity of their bond. Rather than avoiding conflict altogether, successful couples understand that healthy conflict resolution is key to deepening their connection. In this blog post, we'll explore the Gottman approach to fighting right and how couples can transform conflict into an opportunity for growth and intimacy.

Understanding the Gottman Approach: The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, is grounded in decades of research on what makes marriages succeed or fail. One of the core principles of this approach is the idea that it's not the absence of conflict that defines a happy relationship, but rather how couples manage and resolve their disagreements.

Key Elements of the Gottman Approach:

1. Softened Start-Up: Successful couples begin discussions gently, avoiding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—the four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationships, as identified by the Gottmans. Instead, they express their concerns using "I" statements and focus on their feelings rather than blaming their partner.

2. Acceptance of Influence: Partners in healthy relationships are open to considering each other's perspectives and are willing to compromise. They recognize that both individuals bring valuable insights to the table and are committed to finding mutually satisfactory solutions.

3. Repair Attempts: When tensions rise during a disagreement, successful couples make repair attempts to de-escalate the situation and reconnect emotionally. This can be as simple as offering a hug, using humor to diffuse tension, or expressing empathy towards their partner's feelings.

4. De-escalation Techniques: Rather than allowing conflicts to spiral out of control, couples trained in the Gottman approach use specific de-escalation techniques to calm themselves and their partner. This may include taking a break to cool off, practicing deep breathing, or using positive self-talk to manage emotions.

Turning Conflict into Connection: Now that we've explored the key principles of the Gottman approach, let's discuss how successful couples turn conflict into an opportunity for deeper connection:

1. Active Listening: Instead of focusing solely on getting their point across, successful couples prioritize active listening. They strive to understand their partner's perspective without interrupting or dismissing their feelings.

2. Emotional Validation: Validating your partner's emotions—even if you don't agree with their viewpoint—is essential for building trust and intimacy. Successful couples express empathy and understanding towards each other's feelings, fostering a sense of validation and support.

3. Seeking Common Ground: Rather than viewing conflict as a win-lose scenario, successful couples approach disagreements as an opportunity to find common ground. They actively look for areas of agreement and work together to find creative solutions that meet both partners' needs.

4. Maintaining Respect: Even in the heat of an argument, successful couples prioritize respect and kindness towards each other. They avoid name-calling, insults, and other disrespectful behaviors, recognizing that words spoken in anger can have lasting consequences.

5. Learning and Growing Together: Conflict can be a catalyst for personal and relational growth. Successful couples approach disagreements as learning opportunities, using them to gain insight into themselves and their partner. They view challenges as a chance to strengthen their bond and deepen their understanding of each other.

Conclusion: Incorporating the principles of the Gottman approach into your relationship can transform the way you navigate conflict with your partner. By fostering open communication, mutual respect, and emotional connection, you can turn disagreements into opportunities for growth and intimacy. Remember, it's not about avoiding conflict, but rather about fighting right and nurturing your love through the ups and downs of life together.

Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

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Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

Want to learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy? … Here are some Great Resources:

• Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams

• This program of eight lively, conversation-based dates will result in a lifetime of understanding and commitment, whether you’re newly in love or have been together for decades.

• Eight Dates is like having two of the world’s leading relationship scientists at your table coaching you on how to address the topics—from trust to money to dreams—that make-or-break relationships. Welcome to date night.

• An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples: The Two of Us by Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald

  • Intended for use with couples who want to enhance their emotional connection or overcome their relationship distress. It closely follows the course of EFT treatment to easily integrate guided reading, reflection, and discussion into the therapeutic process. Explore concepts such as attachment bonds, the three cycles of relationship distress, how to make sense of emotions, relationship hurts, and more.

  •  The authors weave fresh, illustrative examples throughout, with updated content considering the impact of gender, culture, and sexual orientation on relationship dynamics. An expanded section on sexuality dispels constraining popular myths and frees partners up to express themselves more openly.

• Gottman Card Deck App

  • Inspired by the popular card decks from The Art and Science of Love weekend workshops for couples (now available virtually), this fun app offers helpful questions, statements, and ideas for improving your relationship. Download to explore 14 card decks with more than 1,000 flashcards, tap the star to favorite a card, easily tab back and forth between All and Favorites, and access more free resources from The Gottman Institute.

• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson

  • Strengthen and deepen your relationships with revelatory practical exercises, seven profound conversations, and sage advice from “the best couple’s therapist in the world” (John Gottman, PhD, bestselling author) In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships.

  • The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyze your early childhood, make grand romantic gestures, or experiment with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.

  • Dr. Johnson teaches that to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish an emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations. These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Through stories from Dr. Johnson’s practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, you will learn how to nurture, protect, and grow your relationship, ensuring a lifetime of love.

• Love Map Questionnaire – Integral Psychology

  • Gottman defines a “love map” as “that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner’s life.” Having a detailed “love map” involves a genuine interest in your partner. It means making plenty of mental space to store information about their personal opinions, preferences, quirks, dreams, and fears.

  • You should be aware of major events in each other’s life history and attentively update your knowledge inventory as your spouse or lover grows and changes. Gottman says spouses who are in the habit of keeping up to date with each other’s lives (including intimate details about what the other feels and thinks), are better equipped to cope with major life changes, stressful events, and conflict.

• Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationship by Sue Johnson

  • The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love based on cutting-edge research. Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that humans are meant to mate for life.

  • Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our “love sense” — our ability to create long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually, an ordered and wise recipe for survival.

  • Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love, the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change how we think about love.

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver

  • An overview of the concepts, behaviors, and skills that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, Dr. John Gottman revolutionized the study of marriage. Straightforward in its approach yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work.

  • Dr. Gottman has scientifically analyzed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behavior that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship.

  • Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman’s workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Optimizing Couples Therapy: Exploring Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method

Unlocking the Power of Couples Counseling: A Comprehensive Comparison

Introduction: Choosing the Best Couples Therapy for You

Choosing the right couples therapy is crucial, considering the investment of time, money, and effort. In this Therapy Integration Series, we delve into two research-based approaches: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Couples Therapy (GCT). Explore their similarities, differences, and discover ways to integrate both for more resilient and loving relationships.

Common Ground: EFT and GCT

Foundations of Emotional Regulation and Connection

Dr. John Gottman (GCT) and Dr. Sue Johnson (EFT) converge on a fundamental principle: enhancing emotional regulation and connection between partners. Both methods focus on cultivating awareness of emotions, providing comfort during distress, and building a secure emotional bond. The goal is to enable partners to respond and support each other effectively.

Shared Traits: EFT and GCT

1. Short-Term Counseling Approaches: EFT and GCT offer structured, short-term therapy ranging from 8-30 sessions.

2. In-Session Practice: Both methods emphasize organizing interactions during sessions to facilitate new ways of opening up to each other.

3. Focus on Accessibility: EFT and GCT aim to increase emotional vulnerability and receptiveness, fostering accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.

4. Client-Centered Approach: Both approaches adopt a client-centered perspective, valuing self-actualization and unconditional positive regard.

Patterns and Habits: EFT and GCT's Common Focus

Both methods contribute to decreasing avoidance and enhancing positive interactional patterns. More details on these patterns will be explored later.

Distinguishing Characteristics: EFT vs. GCT

Emotionally Focused Therapy's View on Relationship Distress:

EFT posits that dysregulation occurs when a couple's bond is disrupted, leading to emotional, mental, and physical distress. Couples get trapped in self-perpetuating cycles, reinforcing avoidant and anxious attachment styles. EFT helps couples recognize these negative cycles, fostering compassion and responsiveness, ultimately creating a secure relationship bond.

Gottman Couples Therapy's Perspective on Relationship Distress:

Gottman identifies the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" – criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling – as behaviors predicting relationship distress. Gottman's clinical approach, based on the "Sound Relationship House Theory," guides couples to deepen friendship, enhance conflict management, and create shared meaning.

Steps in EFT and GCT: Addressing Relationship Distress

Emotionally Focused Therapy Steps:

1. Assess conflict issues and feelings of separateness or connectedness.

2. Identify negative interactional cycles.

3. Express and share emotions underlying each partner's position in the cycle.

4. Reframe conflict understanding in terms of emotions and attachment needs.

5. Identify disowned needs and hidden aspects, sharing them with the partner.

6. Promote acceptance of vulnerable parts and foster new ways of relating.

7. Express needs and wants to create emotional engagement.

8. New solutions emerge for old relationship issues.

9. Solidify newfound cycles of emotional closeness and attachment.

Gottman Couples Therapy Steps:

1. Educate about active expressions of caring and teach emotional communication skills.

2. Increase appreciation, admiration, and create norms to improve safety.

3. Identify satisfying qualities for the relationship and understand personal aspirations.

4. Express emotions constructively, soothing tension after an argument.

5. Resolve unresolvable problems, accept influence, and compromise.

6. Honor each other's hopes and dreams in conflict resolution.

Integrating EFT and GCT: The Perfect Blend

Combine Emotionally Focused Therapy sessions with Gottman Couples Therapy resources for comprehensive support. EFT helps emotionally attune partners, creating a secure attachment, while Gottman tools provide tangible interventions for connecting between sessions. This integrated approach enhances the effectiveness of couples counseling.

Conclusion: Creating Lasting Bonds

For the ideal couples therapy fit, consider integrating Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. Partner with specialized therapists and leverage the practical tools provided by both methods to maximize the benefits of your counseling experience.

Explore Further:

• Eight Dates by John Gottman

• An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples by Veronica Kallos-Lilly

• Gottman Card Deck App

• Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

References:

• David, P. (2015). Wedding the Gottman and Johnson Approaches into an Integrated Model of Couple Therapy. The Family Journal, 23(4), 336–345.

• Johnson, S. M. (2004). The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Brunner-Routledge.

• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last? New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Book with Dr. Liz here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Text Dr. Liz on her cell phone 813-240-3237

Tampa Couples Counseling and South Tampa Marriage Counseling

I specialize in Tampa Couples Counseling and South Tampa Marriage Counseling, offering Relationship Therapy that fosters intimacy and happiness.

As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist, Ph.D, and a National Certified Counselor (NCC), I prioritize couples' well-being. At my South Tampa Office, I focus on couples, drawing from my Graduate Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT). My approach centers on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Structural Family Therapy addressing conflict, intimacy, and mutual understanding. I also utilize Compassionate Communication (NVC) to help couples and families use the same language to connect, even through the most difficult conversations.

In relationships, unmet needs often lead to misunderstood conflicts. Love transcends right or wrong; it seeks understanding, appreciation, and empathy. Effective communication holds the key to success.

Effective conflict management and communication are pivotal for a thriving relationship. Ignoring conflict breeds resentment, while poor communication is a precursor to separation or divorce.

Rest assured, your situation, though unique, can be unraveled. Couples often fall into predictable conflict patterns, but with guidance, these can be navigated.

In Couples Therapy, we tackle various issues:

• Communication breakdowns

• Recurring conflicts

• Emotional distance

• Relationship strains

• Commitment concerns

• Infidelity challenges

• Trust and boundaries

• Parenting dynamics

• Pre-marital concerns

• Intimacy and sexual difficulties

• Financial or health-related stress

All couples benefit from counseling, even those with normal conflict levels. Strengthening your relationship and coping mechanisms for future challenges are invaluable.

Let's embark on this journey together. Contact (813) 240-3237 to pave the way for happiness with your partner. I'm here to guide you towards a stronger, happier relationship.

Book with Dr. Liz here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Therapy for Anxiety & Depression in Tampa

Seeking therapy for Anxiety & Depression?

Consider Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) offered by Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney, a South Tampa Counselor and Therapist specializing in these concerns. We use this in combination with several other evidence based approaches.

Depression and Anxiety often coexist, and they stem from different focuses. Depression dwells on the past, fostering thoughts of regret and helplessness. Anxiety, on the other hand, fixates on the future, causing worries and stress.

Both conditions share a commonality: they pull attention away from the present moment. Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present, can shift this focus.

By dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you miss the beauty of the present. Mindfulness is about anchoring yourself in the here and now, appreciating life's moments.

I'm here to guide you away from fixating on past regrets or future worries and lead you toward embracing the present moment.

Contact/ Text me at (813) 240-3237, and together, let's alleviate Anxiety and Depression from your life.

Book a session here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Tampa Virtual Counseling Telehealth: Online Counseling and Virtual Therapy for South Tampa, Florida

Private Virtual Visits for Counseling and Therapy using Live Video ZOOM

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), a National Certified Counselor (NCC), and credentialed in several other evidence based approaches listed here. I work with adults, teens, couples, and families in South Tampa. I specialize in counseling individuals who struggle with relationship issues, anxiety, depression, grief, panic, self esteem, and stress. I teach couples how to increase intimacy, reduce conflict, communicate effectively, and build a stronger connection. I bring families together by managing conflict, and I help adolescents overcome social anxiety and low self-esteem issues.

Virtual Visits Online or Over the Phone

While my office is in South Tampa, virtual visits allow you to attend therapy sessions when you are unable to come into the office throughout the ENTIRE STATE OF FLORIDA and I am also licensed in Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Connecticut and growing. I offer live video counseling using a secure online virtual platform. I provide teletherapy sessions (a form of telemedicine and telemental health) to individuals via live two-way video sessions, and I offer couples counseling and family therapy via secure group video so each participant can have their own screen. If you would rather receive counseling or therapy over the phone, that is available as well – whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Easy to Use on Any Device

Remote virtual therapy allows you to avoid the waiting room and commute without missing an appointment. Schedule your online counseling session by emailing me, calling, or texting (813) 240-3237 and my office will give you a link to easily log in to your secure video counseling session. The virtual platform works with iOS and Android smartphones and tablets as well as Mac and PC computers – all you need to do is find a private place with an internet connection and log in for your scheduled appointment.

Telehealth is an especially good option if:

• You seek Individual Counseling while maintaining comforts of home

• You seek Couples Counseling while one partner is traveling

• Your schedule makes it challenging to attend in-person sessions

• You want to eliminate commute time to Counseling Sessions

• You experience anxiety leaving your home or driving in Tampa

• Physical disabilities limit your ability to travel

• You frequently travel

• You live in Florida

Safe, Secure, and Private

I always respect your privacy and will maintain your confidentiality. The telehealth platform I use meets or exceeds all HIPAA and other legal and ethical guidelines regarding privacy. All sessions are end-to-end encrypted using AES-128, and no potentially sensitive or personally identifying data is stored. Your sessions are granted the same level of privacy as in-person sessions and will never be recorded without your written consent. Feel free to email me or call (813) 240-3237 to start on the path to happiness and a more fulfilling life. I am here to help.

Book a session with me here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake