Optimizing Couples Therapy: Exploring Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method
Unlocking the Power of Couples Counseling: A Comprehensive Comparison
Introduction: Choosing the Best Couples Therapy for You
Choosing the right couples therapy is crucial, considering the investment of time, money, and effort. In this Therapy Integration Series, we delve into two research-based approaches: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Couples Therapy (GCT). Explore their similarities, differences, and discover ways to integrate both for more resilient and loving relationships.
Common Ground: EFT and GCT
Foundations of Emotional Regulation and Connection
Dr. John Gottman (GCT) and Dr. Sue Johnson (EFT) converge on a fundamental principle: enhancing emotional regulation and connection between partners. Both methods focus on cultivating awareness of emotions, providing comfort during distress, and building a secure emotional bond. The goal is to enable partners to respond and support each other effectively.
Shared Traits: EFT and GCT
Short-Term Counseling Approaches: EFT and GCT offer structured, short-term therapy ranging from 8-30 sessions.
In-Session Practice: Both methods emphasize organizing interactions during sessions to facilitate new ways of opening up to each other.
Focus on Accessibility: EFT and GCT aim to increase emotional vulnerability and receptiveness, fostering accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.
Client-Centered Approach: Both approaches adopt a client-centered perspective, valuing self-actualization and unconditional positive regard.
Patterns and Habits: EFT and GCT's Common Focus
Both methods contribute to decreasing avoidance and enhancing positive interactional patterns. More details on these patterns will be explored later.
Distinguishing Characteristics: EFT vs. GCT
Emotionally Focused Therapy's View on Relationship Distress:
EFT posits that dysregulation occurs when a couple's bond is disrupted, leading to emotional, mental, and physical distress. Couples get trapped in self-perpetuating cycles, reinforcing avoidant and anxious attachment styles. EFT helps couples recognize these negative cycles, fostering compassion and responsiveness, ultimately creating a secure relationship bond.
Gottman Couples Therapy's Perspective on Relationship Distress:
Gottman identifies the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" – criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling – as behaviors predicting relationship distress. Gottman's clinical approach, based on the "Sound Relationship House Theory," guides couples to deepen friendship, enhance conflict management, and create shared meaning.
Steps in EFT and GCT: Addressing Relationship Distress
Emotionally Focused Therapy Steps:
Assess conflict issues and feelings of separateness or connectedness.
Identify negative interactional cycles.
Express and share emotions underlying each partner's position in the cycle.
Reframe conflict understanding in terms of emotions and attachment needs.
Identify disowned needs and hidden aspects, sharing them with the partner.
Promote acceptance of vulnerable parts and foster new ways of relating.
Express needs and wants to create emotional engagement.
New solutions emerge for old relationship issues.
Solidify newfound cycles of emotional closeness and attachment.
Gottman Couples Therapy Steps:
Educate about active expressions of caring and teach emotional communication skills.
Increase appreciation, admiration, and create norms to improve safety.
Identify satisfying qualities for the relationship and understand personal aspirations.
Express emotions constructively, soothing tension after an argument.
Resolve unresolvable problems, accept influence, and compromise.
Honor each other's hopes and dreams in conflict resolution.
Integrating EFT and GCT: The Perfect Blend
Combine Emotionally Focused Therapy sessions with Gottman Couples Therapy resources for comprehensive support. EFT helps emotionally attune partners, creating a secure attachment, while Gottman tools provide tangible interventions for connecting between sessions. This integrated approach enhances the effectiveness of couples counseling.
Conclusion: Creating Lasting Bonds
For the ideal couples therapy fit, consider integrating Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. Partner with specialized therapists and leverage the practical tools provided by both methods to maximize the benefits of your counseling experience.
Explore Further:
Eight Dates by John Gottman
An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples by Veronica Kallos-Lilly
Gottman Card Deck App
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
References:
David, P. (2015). Wedding the Gottman and Johnson Approaches into an Integrated Model of Couple Therapy. The Family Journal, 23(4), 336–345.
Johnson, S. M. (2004). The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Brunner-Routledge.
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last? New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
Book with Dr. Liz here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake