How to move through anxiety and say yes to new opportunities
Last month Supervised Therapist Kaitlin Lowey was featured on WFLA’s Bloom. She provided tips on how to say yes to new opportunities that may seem scary due to being unfamiliar. You can watch the full segment here. Below is a summary of the clip.
https://www.wfla.com/video/saying-yes/8412957/
Saying yes to new opportunities can feel uncomfortable. This makes sense because our bodies and brains are physiologically wired to protect us from possible dangers. So, when we encounter a situation that is unfamiliar, such as a possible date or a job interview, we have a physiological response. We become hyper-aware of things that could go wrong and may start entering fight, flight, or freeze mode. Recognizing that this is the body’s natural response is helpful in itself because it reduces shame and normalizes the experience. We come to understand that this uncomfortable bodily response stems from our need for safety.
The key is to actually lean into that discomfort when new opportunities to say yes arise. Invite that discomfort in, and get curious about what’s coming up for you without judgment. Tuning in with what’s happening internally in real time – identifying the physiological reactions, thoughts, and feelings you’re having – ultimately enables you to consciously respond instead of react. Here are a few ideas on how to move through the discomfort to get to yes:
Name and accept your emotions. It sounds counter-intuitive, but accepting and naming the emotions you’re having can actually reduce their intensity. It gives you a sense of control that was lacking before. It’s important to view emotions as experiences versus defining who you are. There is a difference between thinking, “I am anxious,” and, “I am experiencing feelings of anxiety.”
Identify your thoughts and challenge them. Ask yourself, what fears do I have about this opportunity? What evidence is there for these fears? Is there something I can do to address my fears, like getting more information or putting a safeguard in place? What’s the worst that could happen, and would I be ok if it did? Often the fear of something is worse than the reality. And, if it really does present too great of a risk, then don’t hesitate to say no.
Recognize the needs this opportunity fills and any competing needs. As you identify your thoughts and feelings, you can start to recognize the needs the opportunity will fill, such as autonomy, exploration, or connection. Often, the human need for safety can be at odds with the need the new opportunity presents. The key is to give space to both competing needs and identify ways you can feel safe enough to move forward.
Physiologically calm your body. Grounding and mindfulness tools, like box breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, movement, and yoga postures can help you get out of your head and into the present moment. You can come back to these coping skills whenever you need them.
Reframe your anxiety as excitement. The body actually has difficulty differentiating between these two emotions, and it’s amazing what this shift in perspective can do.
Imagine the best-case scenario. Actively direct your focus to the thoughts and feelings you’ll have if everything works out the way you hope. It’s easy to think, “What if it doesn’t work out,” but don’t forget to ask yourself, “What if it does?” Remind yourself of past times when you felt the fear and took the risk anyway, and cultivate that feeling of pride.
Remember, growth doesn’t happen in comfortable spaces – and a certain level of stress when taking a risk can actually be useful in keeping you moving forward. Saying yes to new things can be hard – but we can do hard things. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not a failure. We learn from our experiences, and it’s really just information that we can use moving ahead in our journey. Having the courage to try is a form of success in itself.
To Book with Kaitlin Lowey: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey