Healthy ways to Manage Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are emotions we often experience that cause us to feel a tightening in our body, making it harder to breathe, and bringing in negative thoughts. While experiencing these emotions from time to time is completely normal and serves a purpose, we can not allow these feelings to dictate our lives. This blog post will explore the different ways we can manage and control our stress and anxiety.

1. Take a minute to pause and think: When experiencing stress and anxiety it is important to pause and understand why we are feeling this way. Doing so will allow us to pinpoint what is causing our stress and anxiety and help us figure out what to do next.

2. Breathing exercises/ meditation: Take a minute to purposefully control your breathing. Doing so will allow you to focus on one specific thing and slow down you’re thinking and your heart rate. Meditation does the same exact thing; it allows you to intentionally think about one thing without outside distractions and other thoughts.

3. Get up and move: Sometimes the best way to release any pent-up anxiety and stress is to get up and move. Whether it be going for a walk/ run, going to the gym, or swimming, getting out that extra energy can help us release any unresolved or stress-inducing thoughts or emotions.

4. Getting enough sleep & eating a well-balanced meal: I know, I know you hear it often enough. Get 8 hours of sleep and eat healthily. As much as we don’t like to hear it, getting the right amount of sleep and eating right fuels our body with the right kind of energy that will propel us through the day. When we have that healthy energy we are less likely to become anxious and stressed because our bodies are charged and primed to take on difficult tasks.

5. Accept that you cannot control everything: We as humans have the instinct to want to be in control of everything in our lives, that way nothing can stop us from what we want to do. Unfortunately, it is not realistic for us to be able to control everything. We have to take accountability for ourselves, but also realize that there is a variable of life that will constantly be unknown. That can be scary to understand that we don’t have control of a lot of things, but we can find solace in the things we can control, ourselves and our reactions.

6. Positive Self-Talk: One great way to manage our stress and anxiety is to work on our positive self-talk. When we hear those negative voices making us anxious, we can combat them with positive thoughts or accept that we made a mistake and move forward without getting stuck in that negative loop. A great way to combat those anxious thoughts is to think about all the things you are grateful for at that moment or what you have done great so far today. Doing so will not only get rid of those negative thoughts, but it will also boost your self-esteem.

7. Self-Care: Finally, keeping up with your own self-care regimen will help keep your stress and anxiety at bay. We often think of self-care as taking bubble baths and relaxing, but it isn’t only that. Self-care is about evaluating where you are and what your needs are and taking the time to meet those needs. Just like getting enough sleep and eating a balanced meal, self-care allows your body to recharge with the right kind of energy you need to get through the day without being stressed out and anxious.

Although we may never be able to get rid of stress and anxiety, we have the tools to better manage those feelings. Utilizing these tools will allow us to not become overwhelmed when we feel anxious and stressed out. Instead, we will be better able to analyze where these feelings are coming from and meet whatever need is not being meant. 

By Bailey McConnell, MFTI

Resources

Powell, T., & Enright, S. (2015). Anxiety and stress management. Routledge. 

Ratanasiripong, P., Park, J. F., Ratanasiripong, N., & Kathalae, D. (2015). Stress and anxiety management in nursing students: Biofeedback and mindfulness meditation. Journal of Nursing Education, 54(9), 520-524.

Tips to Manage Anxiety and Stress. Anxiety & Depression Association of America. (2021, September 28). Retrieved from https://adaa.org/tips 

Van den Bergh, O. (2021). Principles and practice of stress management. Guilford Publications.

Book an appointment with Bailey McConnell, MFTI

https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/BaileyMcConnellMFTI

3 Way to Help Your Anxious Child

Watching your child struggle with anxiety can be heartbreaking and leave parents feeling lost and helpless about how to help their child. On top of feeling helpless, as the anxiety grows, you may find that you are sacrificing more and more to lessen its effects on your child. The good news is that anxiety is treatable and there are things parents can do to help their kids overcome it. 

Here are three tips for helping your child through their anxiety:

1. Don’t avoid it

   • Anxiety grows bigger and stronger when we allow it to tell us what we can and cannot do. It might relieve the distress and uncomfortable feelings for a day, but it only reinforces the idea that avoiding what makes someone anxious is the only way to overcome it.

   • For many parents, when their child is in distress, their natural instinct is to try to help their child by taking what is causing that distress away. When dealing with anxiety, it makes sense why encouraging a child to face their fears and subjecting them to discomfort is counterintuitive for a lot of parents. However, supporting your child through doing scary things and not helping them avoid what triggers their anxiety, only works to make the anxiety bigger.

1. Offer Support

• Another way to respond when your child’s anxiety shows up is to offer them support through it. Support in this sense involves two parts. First, acknowledge what your child is feeling. Let them know that you see it is hard for them and empathize with what they are going through. Second, instill confidence in them that no matter what happens you know they will get through it. We may not be able to assure them that everything will be okay but they can make it through the hard feelings.

• If your child is suffering from severe anxiety and is not ready to face their fears, start small and introduce them to the idea that avoidance only makes the anxiety worse. Starting a conversation with them about how they think they should start facing the anxiety is a great way to get them involved.

1. Find a therapist

• Finding a therapist who is CBT informed can make a huge difference in the life of an anxious child or teen. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy allows a child to be gradually exposed to things that trigger their anxiety in a safe setting. Children can also learn techniques for identifying their anxious feelings and valuable coping skills for when they come up.

• Therapists can also work with parents to focus on behavioral changes that parents can make to increase their child’s tolerance to anxiety. Parents and therapists work to gradually decrease accommodations that the family may be making that are not only making the anxiety bigger, but may also be causing a lot of stress to the family as a whole.

By Amanda Kohl, MCHI

SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT with Amanda Kohl, MCHI: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AmandaKohlMHCI

How To Build Self Confidence

Signs of Self-Confidence

Let's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking a quiz. Read the list of statements below and check which ones, in your opinion, are signs of self-confidence.

1.    Admitting when you are wrong.

2.    Being flexible when change is needed.

3.    Talking about your accomplishments.

4.    Describing negative events in positive terms. For example, "We didn't make our target, but we sure learned a lot."

5.    Dressing to please yourself without worrying what others will think.

6.    Using a strong handshake.

7.    Using casual language in an effort to avoid sounding too "corporate." For example, "You guys did a cool thing."

8.    Speaking very fast.

9.    Smiling often.

10.    Learning new skills.

11.    Putting yourself down in order to sound humble.

Low Self-Confidence

Part of defining self-confidence is thinking about what low self-confidence is, what it looks and sounds like. Test yourself now. Circle the statements that convey a lack of self-confidence.

1.    "I may be wrong, but I think the answer is ten."

2.    "Thank you for the compliment. We're very proud of our work."

3.    "That was really stupid of me."

4.    "I forgot my business cards. I left them in the car."

5.    (Responding to a compliment) "Oh, I've had this dress for ten years."

6.    "I would have gotten into the program, but they don't like to take people with my background."

7.    "That sounds like a challenge. I'm sure we can figure out how to solve it, though."

8.    "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wonder if I could have a minute of your time."

Compare your answers:

Answers to Quiz #1

Items 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, and 10 are generally signs of self-confidence. The others could be seen as self-sabotaging behaviors.

Answers to Quiz #2

Items 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 8 communicate low self-confidence. (Of course, there are no 100% right answers, since many of the statements depend on context, tone of voice, cultural interpretation, and other factors.)

Where Does Self-Confidence Come From?

Self-confidence is not something people are born with. It results from a combination of factors:

1.    Learned skill: Self-confidence is a combination of skills, not just a single quality. People are not born with it or without it. It can be learned.

2.    Practice: Self-confidence comes from practice. It may appear to be spontaneous, but it isn't.

3.    Internal locus of control: Self-confidence results from what psychologists call an internal locus (central point) of control. This means that people who are self-directing, who accept responsibility for their own results, have greater self-confidence.

8 Self-Confidence Builders

There are many concrete, specific things you can do to feel more confident in challenging life situations. Make note of those that will help you develop your own sense of self-confidence.

1.    Follow your strengths. Self-confidence comes from being the best "you" possible. It doesn't come from trying to be someone else. It is the result of following paths like these:

    ·    Do what comes naturally.

    ·    Develop your talents.

    ·    Follow your convictions.

    ·    Express your own style.

2.    Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that self-confidence comes from something as ordinary as planning. But think about it; let's say you are going on a job interview, almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are prepared, you feel more confident.

3.    Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no matter how small it seems.

4.    Study. The more you know about your subject, the more confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence almost always stems from a lack of information. We've all had that sick feeling that we don't fully understand what we are talking about.

5.    Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to present yourself in a positive way.

    ·    Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what behaviors convey self-confidence.

    ·    Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way.

    ·    Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or watch yourself on videotape.

6.    Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas will help you practice so that you really understand your subject:

    ·    Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety so it doesn't paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness.

    ·    Get organized. When your materials are prepared and well-organized, you will feel better about your ability to access them. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines your self-confidence.

7.    Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work. The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent.

8.    Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, don't forget to give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this:

·    Look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Good work. I'm proud of you."

·    Think of a way to reward yourself.

·    Tell others about your success.

·    Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your journal.

·    Draw a picture expressing your achievement.