Embracing New Opportunities Despite Discomfort
Saying yes to new opportunities can feel uncomfortable because our bodies and brains are wired to protect us from possible dangers. When we encounter unfamiliar situations, such as a potential date or a job interview, we have a physiological response. We become hyper-aware of what could go wrong and may enter fight, flight, or freeze mode. Recognizing that this is the body’s natural response can be helpful as it reduces shame and normalizes the experience. We understand that this uncomfortable bodily response stems from our need for safety.
Leaning into Discomfort
The key is to lean into that discomfort when new opportunities arise. Invite the discomfort in and get curious about what’s coming up for you without judgment. By tuning into what’s happening internally in real-time – identifying the physiological reactions, thoughts, and feelings you’re having – you can consciously respond instead of react. Here are some ideas on how to move through the discomfort to get to yes:
Name and Accept Your Emotions
Accepting and naming your emotions can actually reduce their intensity. It gives you a sense of control that was lacking before. View emotions as experiences rather than defining who you are. There is a difference between thinking, “I am anxious,” and, “I am experiencing feelings of anxiety.”
Identify and Challenge Your Thoughts
Ask yourself, what fears do I have about this opportunity? What evidence is there for these fears? Can I address my fears by getting more information or putting a safeguard in place? What’s the worst that could happen, and would I be okay if it did? Often the fear of something is worse than the reality. If it really does present too great of a risk, don’t hesitate to say no.
Recognize the Needs This Opportunity Fills and Any Competing Needs
As you identify your thoughts and feelings, recognize the needs the opportunity will fill, such as autonomy, exploration, or connection. The human need for safety can often be at odds with the new opportunity. Give space to both competing needs and identify ways to feel safe enough to move forward.
Physiologically Calm Your Body
Grounding and mindfulness tools, like box breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, movement, and yoga postures, can help you get out of your head and into the present moment. You can return to these coping skills whenever needed.
Reframe Your Anxiety as Excitement
The body has difficulty differentiating between these two emotions. This shift in perspective can make a significant difference.
Imagine the Best-Case Scenario
Focus on the thoughts and feelings you’ll have if everything works out as you hope. Instead of asking, “What if it doesn’t work out,” consider, “What if it does?” Remind yourself of past times when you felt fear but took the risk anyway, and cultivate that feeling of pride.
Growth Beyond Comfort
Remember, growth doesn’t happen in comfortable spaces. A certain level of stress when taking a risk can be useful in keeping you moving forward. Saying yes to new things can be hard, but we can do hard things. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not a failure. We learn from our experiences, and it provides information for future decisions. Having the courage to try is a form of success in itself.
