5 Ways to Make Decisions When You Have Anxiety
I’ve been hearing the phrase “full body yes” a lot lately. Maybe your favorite travel influencer moved to Bali because she felt in her whole body that it was the right decision. Maybe your favorite podcast host decided to finally write a book because everything in them said “YES.” It’s gaining traction in casual conversation and the concept has good intentions and can be very helpful to some people in their decision making. However, what happens when you have anxiety and nothing is a full body yes? Actually, everything right now might feel like a “full body absolutely not we should just stay home” but you have to make decisions and live your life anyway.
The physical symptoms of anxiety include sweating, shaking, gastrointestinal issues (fancy words for stomachache), clenching of the jaw or muscles, and plenty of other unhelpful things that can show up even when you’re not doing anything. They might even show up when doing something you love. If you’re looking for cues from your body about what the right decision is and you have anxiety, that might not be the first, and certainly not the only, place to look.
Here are a few ways to make your decision making easier and clearer so even when you feel anxious, you can stand firm in what you’ve decided:
Recognize your anxiety for what it is and what it is not
Reflect on the situation at hand. Is there something distressing happening in the present moment that your worrying and hypervigilance is helping you overcome? If not, chances are it is the anxiety clouding your experience of reality and misjudging the gravity of what you’re doing. When those symptoms like muscle tension, nausea, or whatever else comes up, ask yourself “are these worries legitimate?” Some may be but some might also be fear of failure, judgement and the unknown.
Allow Good Enough to be Good Enough
Not every choice we make will be life changing and most things are not permanent. When anxiety shows up, it can make people feel like they’re not qualified to do anything unless they are experts and know how to do it perfectly. This is a lie. Trying is better than never making a move or any decisions. If you’re afraid of failure, one of my favorite affirmations to repeat to myself is “I embrace my mistakes because they mean I’m trying and learning.” Even when the anxiety is present, you can still be bold and try new things.
Pro & Con Lists
Man, I love a good pro and con list.
Let’s look at the pros: get all your thoughts out (even the frantic ones), force yourself to look at BOTH possibilities, allow yourself to slow down and think through the problem without feeling rushed
Now the Cons: you could be tempted to only focus on the negatives
When making a pro and con list, be factual and honest with yourself and recognize if something is in the con list because of the anxiety or a valid reason. Both are possible and it is worth differentiating between the two.
Find coping skills that work for when you notice your anxiety
There are plenty of coping skills out there for when anxiety comes around. Although, two people who may both have anxiety won’t automatically benefit from the same coping skills and strategies. My favorite strategies are mindfulness based because anxiety usually takes you away from the present moment and bringing yourself back to it can help ease distress. A good way to do this is to take a moment to relax, breathe, and focus first on 5 things you can see, then 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. You can do this anywhere in the comfort of your own brain and it’s a great tool to try.
Focus on what you can control
Being that you’re probably not psychic, the future is a mystery. To help us survive, our brains are wired to think of what could go wrong. When you add anxiety on top, it can be crippling and stop you from making life changes because you only see what can go wrong. There are a lot of things that are out of our control but there is plenty that IS in our control. Your goals and dreams are bigger than the anxiety and you can grow and do scary things even while it’s present. Focus on doing what you can to make the best decisions for you and follow through on your plans and goals.
Amanda Kohl
Amanda is an experienced supervised therapist who values creating connection and an environment where clients feel accepted and free to express their authentic selves and move towards healing. She enjoys providing therapy to children, teens, and adults and has helped clients with various issues including anxiety, depression, trauma, relational conflict, behavioral problems, self-esteem issues, and identity issues. Her goal is to support and encourage her clients’ journey while providing them with the tools needed for growth and positive change. Both In-Person Sessions (Mondays & Tuesdays) and Virtual Sessions Available.
Amanda Kohl, MHCI 727-967-8992 Akohl@usf.edu PsychologyToday Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/amanda-kohl-tampa-fl/932283 Book with Amanda: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AmandaKohlMHCI Virtual Visits: https://doxy.me/amandakohl