SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY FREE RESOURCES BLOG
Navigating the "Roommate Phase" in Relationships: Tips from a Relationship Counselor
Navigating the roommate phase requires effort, communication, and a commitment to your relationship. By incorporating these tips into your daily life and embracing the guidance of relationship experts like Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy, you can reignite the spark and strengthen your connection with your partner. Remember, every phase is an opportunity to grow and deepen your love for each other.
As a relationship counselor, I often find myself discussing the challenges couples face as they navigate the different phases of their relationship. One of the most common phases couples experience is what many refer to as the "roommate phase." This phase can feel distant, routine, and lacking in the emotional and physical connection that once felt effortless.
My partner and I have faced our fair share of roommate phases, and through personal experience and professional knowledge, we've developed strategies to reignite our connection. Drawing from the wisdom of renowned relationship experts like John Gottman and the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach, here are some tips that have worked wonders for us:
1. Intentional Quality Time Set aside a specific time each night to put away distractions, especially phones, and focus solely on each other. This intentional quality time fosters open communication and strengthens emotional connection.
2. Prioritize Date Nights Spending time away from the daily grind and kids is crucial. Date nights allow you to reconnect, have fun together, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
3. Reignite Physical Intimacy Don't underestimate the power of physical affection. Make an effort to kiss and make out like you used to when your relationship was new and exciting.
4. Sync Your Bedtime Going to bed at the same time can create a sense of closeness and intimacy. It's a simple yet effective way to maintain connection and ensure quality time together.
5. Share Household Chores Teamwork makes the dream work! Sharing household chores fosters collaboration and mutual appreciation, strengthening your bond as a couple.
6. Have Meaningful Conversations Sit down and ask the tough questions:
"Why are we drifting into the roommate phase?"
"How can we enhance our connection?"
"What can we do differently to come back together?"
"Here's what I need from you. What do you need from me?"
7. Embrace the Little Things Small gestures can make a big difference. Whether it's a good morning kiss or a surprise love note, these little acts of kindness and affection go a long way in maintaining connection.
8. Acknowledge the Phase Recognize that the roommate phase is just that – a phase. It's a natural part of many long-term relationships and an opportunity for growth and reconnection.
Gottman's Insights: John Gottman emphasizes the importance of friendship and fondness in relationships. Cultivate a culture of appreciation and admiration for each other. Remember the qualities that you love and appreciate in your partner and express them regularly.
Emotionally Focused Therapy Tips: Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on creating a secure emotional bond between partners. Validate each other's feelings and emotions, and be open to vulnerability. Create a safe space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.
In conclusion, navigating the roommate phase requires effort, communication, and a commitment to your relationship. By incorporating these tips into your daily life and embracing the guidance of relationship experts like Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy, you can reignite the spark and strengthen your connection with your partner. Remember, every phase is an opportunity to grow and deepen your love for each other.
By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D
SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist
❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA
How to Find the Best Therapist in Tampa (or the Best Virtual Online Therapist in Florida) for YOU
How to Find the BEST Therapist for YOU!
Tips for Finding the Best Counselor in Tampa, Florida
If you’re considering therapy — whether it’s to restore a relationship, recover from a trauma, adjust to a new life phase, or improve your mental health — finding the best counselor for you is the first hurdle to cross.
Researchers have found that the bond between you and your therapist is likely to have a big impact on your growth. That’s why it’s important to do your research, ask questions, and pay attention to your own responses in your search for the therapist that’s right for you.
You may do a search by typing in any of the below examples based on your specific needs:
“best therapist Tampa” “best counselor tampa” “best online counselor in Florida” “top rated marriage counselor in Tampa” “best marriage therapist in Tampa” “best online couples counselor in Florida”
How do YOU decide who the best psychotherapist, counselor, or psychologist is for YOU when this is very SUBJECTIVE?
It is important to do your research and trust your gut!
Here are some other tried-and-true methods for finding a therapist to help you reach your therapeutic goals.
1. Consult a provider directory
If you plan to pay for therapy through your insurance plan, your first step might be to look through your plan’s provider network.
It’s also a good idea to find out whether your plan limits the number of sessions you can attend each year and whether using an out-of-network therapist will affect your out-of-pocket costs.
Insurance Provider Directory, www.Psychologytoday.com , www.therapyden.com , www.goodtherapy.org
2. Ask someone you trust
Ask for a recommendation from a friend, colleague, or doctor you trust to find a therapist who might be a good fit for you.
A referral is a good place to start. it’s important to realize that you may have different needs and goals for your therapy than the person giving you the referral.
So, “the best counselor” for one of you might not be as beneficial to the other.
3. Use reliable national online databases
There are quite a few mental health organizations that maintain up-to-date, searchable databases of licensed therapists.
Your search could start by ZIP code, city, state, specific specialities, and so on including:
4. Explore local resources
Your community may also have resources for example:
Students (all ages), your school may provide access to a counseling center.
Employees, your human resources team might offer a list of therapists through a workplace or employee assistance program.
Local advocacy organizations are available through 211
5. Reach out to organizations that address your area of concern
If you’re looking for a therapist to help with a specific mental health issue, you might find local therapists through a national association, network, or helpline:
If your job is a source of stress and anxiety, you might find local therapists through a professional organization.
Many trade unions have resources to assist with mental health needs:
International Association of Firefighters offers help with mental health, PTSD, and substance abuse.
Resources for people of color
Access to culture-conscious therapists and best practices for your well-being. Here are some resources to consider when looking for a therapist:
The Yellow Couch Collective, an online support group for Black women
The National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association
Nina Pop Mental Health Recovery Fund and Tony McDade Mental Health Recovery Fund, a group that offers therapy sessions to help Black transgender people
6. Think about your goals
What do you want to accomplish in therapy?
Are you looking for a specific treatment approaches?
Your goals may change as you work with a therapist. It’s okay to change the direction of your treatment plan as your needs evolve.
7. Online therapy
Online counseling helps you explore convenient and effective ways to implement therapy in your busy schedule.
8. Ask lots of questions
When you meet your therapist, whether it’s online, on the phone, or in person, ask lots of questions and get a feel for whether a therapist is “the best therapist” for YOU!!
Jot down questions as they come up for you.
The American Psychological Association suggests a few questions for you to consider asking your therapist during your first session:
Are you a licensed in this state?
How many years have you been in practice?
How much experience do you have?
What do you consider to be your specialty or expertise?
What kinds of treatments have you found that are effective?
What insurance do you accept?
Will I need to pay you directly and then seek reimbursement from my insurance company, or do you bill the insurance company?
Are you part of my insurance network?
9. Pay close attention to your “gut” to find your “best therapist near me”
No matter how many professional accreditations your therapist has, your own feelings of trust and comfort should be your top priority. Will therapy be uncomfortable from time to time? Possibly. After all, you’ll likely be discussing difficult, personal topics.
But if you feel uncomfortable with your therapist for any other reason, it’s all right to look for someone else.
You don’t need a reason to switch therapists. It’s enough that you don’t feel comfortable.
Here are a few things to notice as you talk with your therapist:
Does the therapist interrupt you, or do they listen carefully to what you’re saying?
How does your body feel during a therapy session? Do you feel tense?
Does the therapist respect your time?
Does the therapist brush off or invalidate your concerns?
Do you feel seen, heard, and respected during your session?
The bottom line
Whether you’re coping with grief, trauma, or relationship issues, or want treatment for a mental illness, finding a helpful, and the best therapist for you can make a big difference in your journey.
To find a therapist who’s a good fit, start by considering practical matters like licensure, insurance coverage, location, and specialties.
You may find that friends, colleagues, and your healthcare providers are a good source of referrals. You may also find options by using search tools provided by organizations that address your specific concerns.
When you’ve narrowed down your choices, you may find it helpful to think about your goals and questions, so you can be sure you and your therapist are well matched and aligned on your treatment plan.
Ultimately, finding the “BEST” therapist is a SUBJECTIVE personal matter. Human connection is at the heart of effective therapy, and you can build that sense of connection in person, on the phone, or online.
WISHING YOU THE VERY BEST! If you reach out to me and make an appointment, if for ANY reason, we are not a good fit, I will do my very best to find the “best therapist” for YOU!!!
Liz