Suicide Awareness and Assessing Signs of Risk in Loved Ones:

 According to the CDC, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Nearly 46,000 people died by suicide in 2020, which would equate to an average of 1 death every 11 minutes. But suicide can be preventable, and there are resources available to help.

On July 16th of this year, 988 became the nationwide suicide hotline number. All texts or calls made to 988 are directly rooted to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline where you will be supported and helped by trained mental health professionals.

YOU can also help!

Noticing signs of suicide:

If you hear or notice any of the following thoughts or behaviors in someone you know, they may be at risk for suicide.

• Talking about wanting to die

  • “I just can’t take it anymore”

  • “I wish everything could end”

  • “I feel too much guilt or shame to continue on”

  • “I feel like a burden and people would be better off without me”

• Expressing feelings surrounding:

  • Loneliness, feeling isolated and that there is no one to live for

  • Hopelessness, feeling like there is no “light at the end of the tunnel”

  • Trapped, feeling stuck in a difficult situation with no foreseeable way out

  • Sad, depressed, anxious feelings

  • Strong emotional or physical pain

  • Low self-esteem, feeling unworthy of love and connection

• Behaviors:

  • Researching ways to die

  • Making a suicide plan

  • Purchasing lethal weapons (guns, knives, pills, rope)

  • Withdrawing from social circles and saying goodbye to loved ones

  • Giving away important keepsakes

  • Writing a will

  • Dangerous risk-taking behaviors, such as driving reckless

  • Exhibiting extreme mood swings

  • Eating and/or sleeping less

  • Increased substance use (drugs and/or alcohol)

  • Poor self-hygiene

The first step in being a helpful resource to someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts is knowing and understanding the signs above. If you notice someone who is exhibiting any of these signs, it’s important to talk directly with them about it. It’s also important not to pass judgment or shame on the individual for having these thoughts.

When I work with clients who are struggling with suicidal ideation, I start by normalizing those thoughts and taking some of the weight and judgement away. I explain that it’s natural for our minds to search for escape routes from life’s struggles. For some people, that escape route looks like “I just want to drop everything and move to a remote island where I know no one and have no responsibilities.” For others, it may look like suicidal thoughts. The theme of escaping life’s responsibilities is the same — and we can share empathy about how hard it can be to face overwhelming difficulty, especially when we don’t have enough support. 

Suicidal thoughts can be very isolating for an individual. Letting someone know that you are aware of their struggles and here as a helpful support for them can make all the difference. Know that it can help to talk with the individual openly about their suicidal thoughts, make it known that it’s okay that they are dealing with this, and always share that there are resources to help.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 is available 24/7, 365 days a year.

https://988lifeline.org/

Also, helping that individual find a supportive therapist can help with long-term improvement and maintaining safety plans. Book an appointment for you or a loved one today.

Author: Jamie Rudden, MFTI https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/JamieRuddenMFTI

For more facts on suicide visit:

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/index.html#:~:text=Suicide%20rates%20increased%2030%25%20between,one%20death%20every%2011%20minutes.&text=The%20number%20of%20people%20who,attempt%20suicide%20is%20even%20higher.

A special thank you to Jamie Rudden for all of the supportive work that you have done with us and prior to your hard work at South Tampa Therapy! It takes a special compassionate and supportive person to BE THERE and STAY ATTUNED.

I appreciate you.

Liz

Do I Need to Heal Before Starting A New Relationship?

The critical question: “Do you have to heal completely before you can start a new relationship?”

THE GRIEF PROCESS AND HEALING

First, let’s go deeper into the question. What do we mean by healing? Does anyone ever “completely” heal? How can you know when you are ready to start again?

Grief is a constellation of emotions you experience when you lose someone with whom you had emotional attachments. The feelings you have when grieving are normal, but most of the time, they are unpleasant. People tend to want them to go away. What needs to be realized though is that these feelings have a purpose. Sadness helps you to step away from others and to look inward. It gives you time to assess yourself and come to terms with your own responsibilities and mistakes. It gives you time to think about the future you want and to slowly take steps forward. 

There are other feelings when you grieve. Anger is a powerful emotion that helps you make changes, but it often becomes a source of bonding that can cause problems. Grieving people can join with one another in a relationship based on their anger at their ex-partners and quickly bond over that commonality. These relationships can grow fast and feel very powerful, but they need much more than shared anger as a basis. 

William Worden in his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy” discusses recovery as a four-step process. First, you must accept the reality of the loss and begin to see the opportunities for a new future. Second, you need to feel the feelings of loss. This is the step most avoided but it’s necessary. Third, you must adjust to the realities of life without the other. The fourth step is letting go of the lost partner and finding new, meaningful relationships. These new relationships might be romantic or they might be something else.

FINAL THOUGHT

How long does it take? People try to put a time frame on this process, but it’s hard to measure things that way. You may never feel “completely healed.” If you wait for that, you may never move forward. How do you know you are healed enough? When are you really ready? When the feelings of sadness and loss begin to lift when you are alone with your thoughts, and your imagination starts accepting thoughts of a brighter future… you are starting to get there.