Coping Skills for Teens That Actually Work (According to a Therapist)

Not all coping skills are created equal. Discover practical, therapist-approved tools that help

teens manage anxiety, stress, and big emotions—without shutting down.

“I Just Don’t Know How to Deal With It.”

If you’re a teen (or love one), you’ve probably heard this phrase before, maybe even said it

yourself.

Between school pressure, social drama, family stress, and just trying to figure out who you are, it

can feel like you’re carrying a lot. And most of the time, no one really teaches you how to

actually cope with it all.

Here’s the truth: Coping is a skill. It’s not something you’re just born knowing how to do. And

the good news is—it can be learned.

Let’s break down what coping really means, what doesn’t work (even if it feels good in the

moment), and what actually helps teens feel more grounded, safe, and in control.

What Are Coping Skills, Really?

Coping skills are the tools we use, consciously or not, to manage stress, emotions, and hard

situations. Some are healthy and help us grow. Others just help us get by (and sometimes, make

things worse long-term).

If you’ve ever scrolled on your phone for hours, zoned out in bed, picked a fight with your

parents, or told yourself to “just get over it,” you were coping. Maybe not in the most helpful

way—but still, coping.

Healthy coping skills are tools that help you move through emotions, not around them. They

allow you to feel what you feel without getting stuck or overwhelmed.

What Doesn’t Work (Even If It Feels Like It Does)

Let’s be real—some go-to habits might feel good in the moment, but they don’t help much in the

long run:

● Avoiding everything and shutting down

● Numbing out with screens, food, or substances

● Pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly not

● Bottling everything up until you explode

You deserve better than just surviving.

Coping Tools That Actually Work—for Real Teens

Here are therapist-approved coping strategies I often use with teens in my practice. These aren’t

one-size-fits-all, but they’re a strong start if you’re trying to feel more in control of your

emotions and less overwhelmed by life.

1. 🌬Box Breathing (For Panic and Overwhelm)

Try this when your heart’s racing or you can’t think straight.

Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 4. Hold for 4.

Repeat 4 times. It slows your nervous system down and helps you reset.

2. 󰜻“Dump Journal” (For Overthinking)

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Write everything in your brain—no filter, no judgment. You don’t

have to re-read it. Just let it out. It helps turn mental chaos into something manageable.

3. 🧊Cold Sensation Hack (For Intense Emotion)

Splash your face with cold water or hold an ice cube in your hand. This quick sensory shift can

pull you out of spirals and help you regulate.

4. 🧠Name It to Tame It

Label what you’re feeling—even if it’s messy: “I’m overwhelmed and exhausted,” or “I feel

invisible right now.”

Your brain calms down when it knows what it’s dealing with.

5. 🫶Create a Coping Box

Fill a small box or bag with calming items—fidget toys, a soothing scent, affirmations, or photos

that remind you of safety. Reach for it when you need grounding.

6. 🚶Move Your Body (Without Judgment)

Not every coping skill needs to look like yoga or a workout. Dance. Pace. Shake it out. Physical

movement literally helps you move stress through your body.

7. 🧭Ask: “What Do I Need Right Now?”

This is a big one. When you’re in a spiral, pause and ask yourself:

“Do I need comfort, distraction, space, support, or movement?”

Learning to listen to yourself is a superpower.

A Quick Note to Teens Reading This

You don’t need to have it all figured out. Coping isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being

honest, self-aware, and willing to try something different. Your feelings are valid. Your reactions

make sense. And with the right tools, it does get easier to handle life’s messiness.

A Note for Parents & Caregivers

If your teen seems withdrawn, irritable, or overwhelmed, chances are they’re not “just being

dramatic”—they’re likely trying to cope with big emotions the best way they know how.

Modeling emotional regulation and helping them build a real coping toolkit (without judgment)

can make a huge difference.

Therapy Can Help Build Lifelong Coping Skills

At South Tampa Therapy, I work with teens and young adults to build emotional resilience, not

just short-term fixes. Together, we explore what coping looks like for them, not what works for

someone else.

It’s never too early (or too late) to learn how to take care of your emotional world.

Want to help your teen (or yourself) build real tools for real life? Reach out to schedule a session

today. Let’s make emotional wellness feel a little more doable.

By South Tampa Therapy | Remy Francis, MHCI

Book with Remy: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Remy 813-240-3237 SouthTampaTherapy@gmail.com

Inside Out 2 and Emotion Coaching Gottman’s emotion coaching is brought to life in the movie Inside Out 2.

If I could go back in time, I would relive my adolescence…(said nobody ever). Can you imagine? Reliving those awkward years where your teeth don’t quite fit your face, your skin betrays you, and your prefrontal cortex is far from fully developed? No thanks.

If you watched Disney Pixar’s “Inside Out,” which aired in 2015, you might remember Riley, the 11-year-old girl whose family had recently moved from Minnesota to San Francisco. There, we watched Riley experience emotions of Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust as she navigated a difficult transition during a vulnerable time in her life.

And finally, the sequel is here.

In “Inside Out 2,” 13-year-old Riley is further along in her adolescence and must make room for some emotions that are a bit more sophisticated: Anxiety, Ennui/Embarrassment (my personal favorite–she’s a vibe), and Envy. As a therapist and a mother, I am HERE for the portrayal of emotions that are a bit more complex/secondary–because if you remember your adolescent years, you remember that everything was complicated, and emotions were most certainly magnified. And most of the support you needed at that time was not actually solution-oriented; but to be given the space to feel heard, seen, understood, and accepted during those intense experiences was everything.

As a mother of two teenagers, Liam (15) and Luci (14), who are my greatest teachers, I see firsthand the importance of this emotional space. Raising them has been a journey filled with lessons and immense love, and I cherish being their mom during this chapter of all our lives. It’s a beautiful and sometimes challenging time, but the growth and connection we experience together make it all worth it.

This is where Dr. John Gottman’s Emotion Coaching can be useful. The five critical steps of Emotion Coaching include:

1. Having awareness of your child’s emotion(s)

2. Recognizing your child’s emotional expression as a moment for connection

3. Listening with empathy and validation

4. Helping your child label their emotions

5. Setting limits to help solve problems and navigate difficult situations

When these steps are done with intentionality and curiosity, you are cultivating a foundation of connection, trust, safety, and security with your child. Your child feels seen and supported. They can take a breath and take space to recognize and honor their internal world and experiences, without external or internal judgment or criticism.

Making space for ALL the emotions

One of the scenes that stood out to me most in the film was the portrayal of Riley experiencing an anxiety attack. In that scene, we witness the physiological experience of anxiety–her racing heart, sweating, and intense cognitive rumination of who she is as a person. All of this is happening while, behind the scenes, Riley’s “sense of self” is threatened. This scene felt like a poignant and horribly accurate depiction of adolescence–a part of yourself that you don’t want to fully experience or share with others for fear of not being accepted. But the antidote to that is vulnerability–sharing that authentic part of yourself with others.

Another beautiful scene I resonated with in “Inside Out 2” is when all of Riley’s emotions, the primary and secondary, come together and physically (and figuratively) hold Riley’s “sense of self” while allowing her to fully experience all of the emotions, narratives, and thoughts she has. Instead of trying to control, they accept. And true acceptance of all of our parts is what we all crave and desire.

In summary, this quote from the film epitomizes Emotion Coaching in a nutshell: “We love all of our girl. Every messy, beautiful part of her.” If we make space and validate all of our emotions, every messy, beautiful part of ourselves (and our children), we can live fully and authentically.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, DCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

Book Appointment

Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 🏫 Harvard Trained ❤️‍🩹 Emotion Focused Therapist 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver 🥰 Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 👩‍❤️‍👨 Attachment Theorist 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

www.SouthTampaCounselor.com

SouthTampaTherapy@gmail.com

Helping Our Teens Navigate a Changing World

It is so easy as parents to assume we understand our teens’ current struggles because we’ve “been there, done that.” Puberty, peer pressure, and parental expectations are challenges we all had to face on our way to adulthood and independence. But our children’s world is vastly different from the one we grew up in, and we need to adapt as parents in order to help guide our teens through their unique place in history.

How A Teen’s World is Different

It’s no secret that our kids spend multiple hours a day on screens and less time engaged in activities with family and friends. And in our busy adult lives, it’s hard to limit their access to social media, video games, and YouTube, especially when we have our own eyes on screens working, responding to emails, and entertaining ourselves. Gone are the days when homes had one screen – a television – that we all watched together. Telephones were hardwired into the wall and we were forced to go out into the world to seek friendship and entertainment – it wasn’t delivered to us via a small gadget in our hands. Today’s technology pulls us apart and isolates us. Covid made these trends even worse.

Our teens are also inundated with continuous images of unrealistic standards of beauty, wealth, intelligence, and fame. Internet “influencers” post choreographed videos portraying perfect lives to our children who may be sitting alone in their rooms. Earlier generations were also presented with images of beautiful models and glamorous lives in magazines, television and movies, but these sources of unrealistic standards had limits on our attention. Monthly magazine issues had limited numbers of pages. Television programs typically aired between 30 minutes to an hour, and movies were under 2 hours long. Our childhood entertainment wrapped up their endings and sent us on our merry way. Today, streaming services and apps feed continuous loops of content to teens who have little capacity for self-regulation due to their immature prefrontal cortex. Studies show that our teens feel worse about themselves after spending time on social media, but they still can’t stop themselves from returning to the content.

Parents today are also different from those who came before us. Often with good intentions, we are guilty of wanting to shield our teens from failure and disappointment. Teachers and coaches are barraged with emails and phone calls from parents who seek to ensure successful outcomes for their children. Unfortunately, we are also robbing their teens of the opportunity to grow through resilience and perseverance. Teens aren’t learning how to cope when things don’t go their way. And think about it, what deeper message are we sending our kids? That they can’t succeed without us.

We also live in an uncertain world where catastrophe feels imminent and real. Teens experienced Covid lockdowns and may have witnessed severe illness or death of loved ones. This taught them that life can be turned upside down at any moment. And warnings of climate change, leadership failures at state and national levels, upticks in crime and unrest, and growing concerns of an AI takeover all come together to paint a scary future. Every generation has its struggle, but this generation of teens has a unique, front-row seat to a world that feels like it’s spiraling out of control.

How Parents Can Adapt to their Teen’s World

This new reality for our kids requires us to adapt as parents. While we shouldn’t always hover and rescue them from the cruelties and disappointments of life, we also don’t want to tell them to just “get over it” and assume they’ll successfully muddle through life’s challenges on their own. Data shows that teens are experiencing higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide than ever before. We need to be plugged-in and aware of what’s going on in their lives

One important step we can take is to normalize stress for them. Don’t hide your bad day or failures from them. Let them see that life knocks us down and it hurts. Show them that emotions (good and bad) are a normal reaction to events in our lives – and we can manage them. Stop trying to be perfect in front of them. Show them that it’s sometimes okay to just be “good enough.” This will encourage them to share their own stresses and imperfections with you. Show them that you accept them as they are.

Also, don’t rescue them from failures. Teens need to experience the consequences of a missed school assignment, a poor test grade, or sitting on the bench during a game. This is how they learn to become self-motivated and begin to sort out their personal values that will guide them through life. They will find their tolerance for shame and disappointment and take steps to avoid it in the future. We need to give our teens room to stretch and learn. Better now when they still have us to lean on rather than when they are adults with real responsibilities and navigating the unpredictable world around them. 

It's also a good idea to set screen time boundaries for them, and perhaps even for ourselves. They won’t thank us for pulling the plug on access to their world, but their mental health will benefit. They will have a chance to daydream again, which is shown to reduce stress and anxiety by allowing the brain to relax and roam freely. These mini-escapes give space for their imaginations and creativity. And if we agree to limit our own screen time, we’ll gain the same benefits plus some meaningful free time to spend together.

And a final piece of advice – don’t be afraid to open up a dialogue about tough topics such as peer pressure, sex, anxiety, depression, suicide, and their future. We want our teens to feel safe coming to us rather than an influencer on TikTok. And look for opportunities to have deeper, meaningful conversations with them. Bring up current events and share your thoughts and ideas with one another. Your teen is on the cusp of adulthood, so you are nearing the end of your influence on the person you are sending out into the world. Use this time wisely and begin shifting your role in their life – your value to them will soon be that as mentor and fellow-traveler of this big planet. Be present for them and enjoy.

Author: Lana Phillips

Book Appointment: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/LanaPhillips