SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY FREE RESOURCES BLOG
Men's Tears: From Gilgamesh to Modern Day~ How Men Can Navigate the Stormy Seas of Emotion
It’s important to remember that seeking help and expressing emotions are not signs of weakness – they are indicators of strength and self-awareness.
As we observe Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s challenge the outdated notions that have kept men silent for too long. By fostering open dialogue, providing support, and equipping men with the tools they need to navigate their emotional lives, we can create a world where every man feels empowered to seek help, express himself fully, and ultimately thrive.
In the end, true strength lies not in stoic silence, but in the courage to reach out, connect, and embrace the full spectrum of human emotion. It’s time we redefine what it means to be a “strong man” – one who is not afraid to cry, to seek help, or to lean on others when needed. In doing so, we pave the way for healthier individuals, stronger relationships, and a more compassionate society for all.
In the ancient Epic of Gilgamesh, one of the earliest known literary works, we encounter the powerful king Gilgamesh. Despite his immense strength and heroic deeds, Gilgamesh weeps for his lost friend Enkidu, revealing a deep vulnerability. This ancient story highlights that even the strongest men experience profound emotions and grief.
Fast forward to the 21st century, where despite increased awareness of mental health issues, there still exists considerable stigma. Mental health challenges are not a modern phenomenon, nor are they exclusive to any gender. Yet, men today continue to face unique obstacles when it comes to addressing their mental health.
Landscape of Men’s Mental Health
Recent statistics paint a sobering picture. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 6 million men in the United States experience depression each year. Even more alarmingly, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reports that men die by suicide at a rate 3.63 times higher than women. These numbers underscore a critical need for attention to men’s mental health.
But why do men seem to struggle more with seeking help? Cultural expectations and societal norms often play a significant role. Many men have been conditioned to believe that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness, leading to what psychologists call “emotional dismissiveness.” This mindset can create barriers to acknowledging mental health concerns and seeking support.
The good news is that change is possible, and it often begins with relationships. Strong connections – be they romantic partnerships, friendships, or professional networks – can provide men with the support and understanding they need to navigate their emotional landscapes.
Research has consistently shown that men with robust social support systems are better equipped to handle stress, anxiety, and depression. A study published in the American Journal of Men’s Health found that men who reported higher levels of social support were less likely to experience depressive symptoms. Moreover, those who felt comfortable discussing their emotions with friends or partners showed greater resilience in the face of mental health challenges.
Learning the Vocabulary
This is where the work of Dr. John Gottman comes into play. His relationship-focused approach helps men (and their partners) navigate the complexities of emotion and provides tools to develop a richer emotional vocabulary. By learning to identify and express a wider range of emotions, men can break free from the stigma of emotional expressiveness often associated with traditional masculinity. With a more nuanced emotional vocabulary, it turns out, it is easier to forge deeper, more meaningful connections.
Gottman’s research-based techniques and practical exercises include helping people:
Recognize and name different emotional states
Communicate feelings effectively without fear of judgment
Listen actively and empathetically to others
Develop strategies for managing difficult emotions
Build a deeper connection with others
By mastering these skills, men can create a positive feedback loop: as they become more comfortable expressing their emotions, they’re likely to experience improved mental health, which in turn strengthens their relationships and support networks.
Expressing Emotion
It’s important to remember that seeking help and expressing emotions are not signs of weakness – they are indicators of strength and self-awareness.
As we observe Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s challenge the outdated notions that have kept men silent for too long. By fostering open dialogue, providing support, and equipping men with the tools they need to navigate their emotional lives, we can create a world where every man feels empowered to seek help, express himself fully, and ultimately thrive.
In the end, true strength lies not in stoic silence, but in the courage to reach out, connect, and embrace the full spectrum of human emotion. It’s time we redefine what it means to be a “strong man” – one who is not afraid to cry, to seek help, or to lean on others when needed. In doing so, we pave the way for healthier individuals, stronger relationships, and a more compassionate society for all.
By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, DCC, Ph.D
SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY
Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist
❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 🏫 Harvard Trained ❤️🩹 Emotion Focused Therapist 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor👩🏼⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver 🥰 Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 👩❤️👨 Attachment Theorist 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA
The Urgent Need to Support Trans Youth: How We Can Make a Difference
The discrimination and lack of support for transgender youth in schools and society are deeply concerning. At South Tampa Therapy, we are committed to creating inclusive and supportive environments that significantly improve the lives of trans youth. We can help mitigate the risks of hostile environments, family rejection, and societal discrimination by fostering resilience, self-esteem, and overall well-being through peer support and reducing isolation. Together, we can ensure that trans youth have the opportunity to thrive and pursue happiness.
By: Ari Leal, CMHCI
In today’s society, transgender youth face extraordinary challenges and hostilities, often from multiple fronts. It's heartbreaking to recognize the stark reality: 89% of transgender students endure verbal harassment, 55% suffer physical harassment, and 28% experience physical assault at school. These adverse conditions lead to lower academic performance, higher absenteeism, and a diminished likelihood of pursuing higher education. Feeling unsafe and unsupported contributes significantly to the alarming rates of depression and suicidal ideation among trans youth.
Family rejection compounds these difficulties. Over half of transgender youth lack family support, which exacerbates their struggles. Alarmingly, 53% of transgender and nonbinary youth have seriously considered suicide in the past year, and 20% have attempted to take their lives. This underscores the critical need for supportive environments and interventions.
Additionally, legislative measures in states like Florida further restrict the rights and well-being of trans youth. Healthcare restrictions limit access to gender-affirming treatments, while educational policies silence discussions on gender identity. These laws foster exclusion and discrimination, increasing ostracization, bullying, and mental health issues. Trans youth are often prohibited from participating in sports teams that align with their gender identity and face challenges accessing appropriate bathroom facilities.
Support groups emerge as crucial lifelines, providing safe and affirming spaces for trans youth. These groups offer understanding, affirmation, and peer support, often lacking in other areas of their lives. Research shows that support groups reduce feelings of isolation, boost self-esteem, and enhance overall mental health, creating a sense of community and belonging essential for positive outcomes.
As individuals and independent practices, we can play a pivotal role in supporting trans youth and compensating for the lack of governmental and societal support. Vital steps include creating affirming environments, ensuring specialized training for therapists, involving families, connecting trans youth with support networks, maintaining confidentiality, collaborating with schools, and engaging in public education and advocacy.
The discrimination and lack of support for transgender youth in schools and society are deeply concerning. At South Tampa Therapy, we are committed to creating inclusive and supportive environments that significantly improve the lives of trans youth. We can help mitigate the risks of hostile environments, family rejection, and societal discrimination by fostering resilience, self-esteem, and overall well-being through peer support and reducing isolation. Together, we can ensure that trans youth have the opportunity to thrive and pursue happiness.
For more information or to schedule a consultation, please get in touch with South Tampa Therapy. Together, we can make a difference.
Book with this author ~Ari Leal, Therapist, CMHCI: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AriLeal
References
Greytak, E. A., Diaz, E. M., & Kosciw, J. G. (2009). Harsh realities: The experiences of transgender youth in our nation’s schools. New York: GLSEN.
National Center for Transgender Equality. (2023). Youth and students. Retrieved from NCTE
GLSEN. (2023). Improving school climate for transgender and nonbinary youth. New York: GLSEN.
Gainor, K. A. (1999). Including transgender issues in lesbian, gay, and bisexual psychology: Implications for clinical practice and training. In B. Greene & G. Herek (Eds.), Lesbian and gay psychology: Theory, research, and clinical applications (pp. 131–160). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
The Trevor Project. (2023). National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health. Retrieved from The Trevor Project.
Lev, A. I. (2004). Transgender emergence: Therapeutic guidelines for working with gender-variant people and their families. Haworth Press.
Grossman, A. H., & D'Augelli, A. R. (2006). Transgender youth: Invisible and vulnerable. Journal of Homosexuality, 51(1), 111-128. https://doi.org/10.1300/J082v51n01_06
Lev, A. I. (2004). Transgender emergence: Therapeutic guidelines for working with gender-variant people and their families. Haworth Press.
National Center for Transgender Equality. (2023). Youth and students. Retrieved from NCTE.
Book with this author ~Ari Leal, Therapist, CMHCI: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AriLeal