The Millennial Midlife Crisis: A New Perspective on Fulfillment

The Millennial Midlife Crisis: A New Perspective on Fulfillment
By: Ari Leal, Therapist

I recently read an article in Fortune Magazine titled, "Millennials' midlife crisis looks different from their parents' sports cars and mistresses—it's a 'crisis of purpose and engagement,'" written by Sydney Lake. The writer claims millennials will have a different midlife crisis because they can't afford one, so their focus will divert towards purpose and engagement. I believe that, despite the obvious financial burdens of our generation, millennials will have a different midlife crisis solely due to our distinct values and priorities.

The concept of a midlife crisis has been widely recognized across generations, often characterized by dramatic lifestyle changes such as buying flashy sports cars, changing hairstyles, or even seeking extramarital affairs. However, the millennial midlife crisis is taking a markedly different form, shaped by unique economic and cultural contexts. In the long term, this shift may lead millennials to live more fulfilled lives driven by generational values prioritizing sustainability, spirituality, and social justice.

For older generations, a midlife crisis was often defined by conspicuous consumption and a fear of aging. Baby boomers, for instance, might have coped with their existential angst through expensive purchases or radical changes in their personal lives. In contrast, millennials, born between 1981 and 1996, face different challenges and express their midlife crises in less materialistic ways.

Millennials are navigating their midlife years amidst significant economic constraints. They earn about 20% less than baby boomers at the same age when adjusted for inflation. Burdened with substantial student loan debt, many millennials find it difficult to save or invest. Soaring housing prices and rents have delayed traditional milestones like homeownership and starting families. These financial pressures have reshaped the typical midlife crisis into something less about material wealth and more about a search for meaning and purpose.

Despite these economic challenges, millennials make conscious choices reflecting their values and priorities. This generation is more likely to adopt minimalist lifestyles, prioritize eco-friendly products, and support businesses that practice sustainability. With a growing interest in mindfulness, meditation, and other spiritual practices, millennials seek deeper personal fulfillment beyond material success. Millennials are passionate about social causes and drive movements for equality, environmental protection, and ethical consumption.

The millennial midlife crisis is often a "crisis of purpose and engagement." Raised with the idea that hard work and ambition would lead to success, many millennials have reached their goals only to question their satisfaction and sense of purpose. This introspection has led many to redefine success, focusing on personal growth and community impact.

According to psychologist Erik Erikson, midlife is the stage of "generativity vs. stagnation," where individuals strive to create or nurture things that will outlast them, contributing to the betterment of society. Millennials, with their focus on sustainability, social justice, and spirituality, are uniquely positioned to navigate this stage gracefully as many of the earlier members of the generation have entered their forties. Our non-materialistic values encourage us to invest in relationships, community, and the environment, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

An important aspect of the millennial approach to midlife is the increased focus on mental health and wellness. Millennials care more about mental health than previous generations, driven by several factors:

•    Increased Awareness and Stigma Reduction: Growing up in an era where mental health is more openly discussed, millennials benefit from increased awareness and reduced stigma around mental health issues.
•    Cultural and Societal Shifts: There is a cultural shift towards valuing mental health and wellness, with millennials more likely to seek therapy, practice mindfulness, and engage in activities that promote mental well-being.
•    Economic and Social Pressures: Economic challenges like student loan debt and job market instability have heightened millennials' awareness of financial stress's impact on mental health.
•    Holistic Health Approach: Millennials adopt a holistic approach to health, integrating physical, mental, and emotional well-being through practices like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness.
•    Workplace and Institutional Support: Many workplaces now offer mental health resources, reflecting millennials' advocacy for mental well-being. This shift is thanks to millennials' values and the push by companies to attract millennial talent, leading to more comprehensive support for mental health in the workplace.

Ultimately, the millennial approach to the midlife crisis might lead to more fulfilling lives. By emphasizing what truly matters—personal growth, meaningful connections, and positive social impact—millennials are likely to experience a more profound sense of satisfaction and well-being. Their influence shapes a world that values sustainability, spirituality, and social justice, leaving a lasting legacy for future generations.

As millennials continue to redefine midlife, they exemplify how challenges can be transformed into opportunities for growth and fulfillment. Their journey offers valuable lessons in prioritizing values over possessions and finding purpose in serving others and the planet.

Millennials are also set to inherit the most significant transfer of wealth from their baby boomer parents and family members. While it may be challenging to determine whether Millennials became more conscientious due to their economic struggles or accepted less pay because they value other things in life, how my generation handles this wealth transfer will ultimately reveal their true priorities. Putting that wealth to work towards a better world will leave no doubt about whether a lack of money drove their more conscientious values or if more conscientious and lofty values drove their lack of money. I firmly believe the latter.

References

Lake, S. (2023). Millennials' midlife crisis looks different from their parents' sports cars and mistresses—it's a 'crisis of purpose and engagement.' Fortune. Retrieved from https://apple.news/A1O4xW7LDSDCpXAcK4bU2hA

Ari Leal, Therapist at South Tampa Therapy. Book an appointment with Ari here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AriLeal

Navigating Tranquility: Strategies for Maintaining Mental Health During Life Transitions

Life is a series of transitions, each offering unique opportunities and challenges. Whether you're changing careers, moving to a new city, or embarking on a significant life change, it's essential to prioritize your mental health during these periods of transformation. In this blog post, we'll explore effective strategies to help you manage your mental well-being and navigate the journey to a brighter future.

Acknowledge and Accept Change:

• The first step in managing mental health during a big life transition is to acknowledge the change and accept that it's a natural part of life. Change can be both exciting and daunting, triggering a range of emotions. By acknowledging these feelings, you empower yourself to address them head-on. Understand that it's okay to feel a mix of excitement, anxiety, and uncertainty. Embracing these emotions as part of the process allows you to move forward with greater self-awareness.

Set Realistic Expectations:

• Big life transitions often come with a set of expectations, both internal and external. While it's crucial to have goals and aspirations, setting realistic expectations is equally important. Recognize that not everything will go according to plan, and that's okay. Give yourself the flexibility to adapt and adjust your expectations as needed. Setting realistic goals helps alleviate the pressure and reduces the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed.

Build a Support System:

• During times of change, having a strong support system can make a world of difference. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your journey. Share your thoughts and concerns with friends, family, or even seek out support groups related to your specific transition. Having a reliable support system provides an outlet for expressing your feelings and gaining valuable perspectives. It reminds you that you're not alone in your journey.

Prioritize Self-Care:

• Amidst the hustle and bustle of a life transition, self-care often takes a back seat. However, prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining mental well-being. Establish routines that include activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's a daily walk, meditation, or indulging in a hobby, allocate time for self-care. Physical well-being is closely linked to mental health, so ensure you are getting enough sleep, staying active, and nourishing your body with healthy food.

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability:

• Life transitions rarely unfold exactly as planned. Embracing flexibility and adaptability is key to managing mental health during these times. Be open to adjusting your plans based on evolving circumstances. A rigid mindset can lead to frustration and stress. Instead, view change as an opportunity for growth and learning. The ability to adapt allows you to navigate unexpected challenges with resilience and a positive outlook.

Seek Professional Guidance:

• If the mental toll of a life transition becomes overwhelming, seeking professional guidance can be immensely beneficial. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights, coping strategies, and a non-judgmental space for you to explore your emotions. Professional support is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step towards maintaining and improving your mental health.

Focus on the Present Moment:

It's easy to get caught up in the uncertainties of the future during significant life transitions. However, focusing on the present moment can help alleviate anxiety. Practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to center yourself. By grounding yourself in the present, you can better appreciate the journey and approach challenges with a clear and calm mind.

Conclusion:

• Life transitions are inevitable, but how we navigate them can significantly impact our mental well-being. By acknowledging change, setting realistic expectations, building a support system, prioritizing self-care, embracing flexibility, seeking professional guidance when needed, and focusing on the present moment, you can effectively manage your mental health during big life transitions. Remember, every transition is an opportunity for personal growth and a chance to shape a fulfilling and meaningful future.

By: Kaitlin Lowey

Why The Transition From College Athlete to the Real World is so Hard

The experiences of athletes like Simone Biles and Michael Phelps have shed light on the mental health struggles many athletes face. A topic that has received less attention – but deserves equal standing – is the mental wellbeing of athletes who are transitioning from intense competition into the next phase of their life. 

This period of time can be a difficult one for many reasons. Most athletes end their athletic career in college, which coincides with numerous changes that all college graduates face, including leaving the familiarity of school, entering the workforce, and a general sense of uncertainty that comes with starting a new phase. But for athletes, this period can be even more difficult because it can feel like a large portion of their identity has been lost.

Whereas most college students have the opportunity to test out new identities and “find themselves” in high school and college, athletes’ immense time and energy investment in their sports prevents them from doing the same. Their athletic participation, which usually begins early in life, provides them with athletic purpose, athletic identity, structure, adoration from others, camaraderie with teammates, competition highs, and social status. But this comes at a cost. They miss out on opportunities to explore life outside of athletics, experiment with various roles, and face conflicts that refine one’s sense of self. Ultimately, this can result in what is known as identity foreclosure, which essentially means not having had the opportunity to explore oneself before settling on an identity. In other words, athletes don’t have the opportunity to find out who they are apart from their sport. On top of this, retiring athletes face the loss of being highly skilled at something, the loss of a built-in support network, and the loss of public admiration. If all of this sounds like a lot, that’s because it is!

It’s no wonder that retiring student-athletes often struggle with adjustment difficulties, uncertainty, career problems, financial issues, social problems, and issues with self-esteem, self-concept, well-being, and life direction as they transition from their exclusive athletic identity to an uncertain one. The shift away from athletics has been associated with mental health symptoms including feelings of grief, anxiety, and depression, as well as decreased social support, isolation, declined sense of self-worth, loss of interest in activities, and lack of motivation. Furthermore, athletes who have not developed coping strategies may turn to substance use or unhealthy eating habits, which are common coping mechanisms among student-athletes encountering negative events. 

If you’re an athlete or recently retired athlete, you might be feeling anxious about the transition into the “real world,” or you might be nodding along in recognition of your experience. Thankfully, whether you are planning ahead for the next phase or seeking support during a recent retirement, there are many things you can do to ease the transition. The first is to develop interests and skills outside of your sport. Ideally, you would engage in pre-retirement planning a year or more in advance. However, if you haven’t done that, there are still many ways you can move forward with intention. The key is to consider your values and interests apart from your sport, begin to develop new skills that align with those values and interests, and set goals. These steps can help you develop a sense of identity outside of athletics that you can build on. Ask yourself what lights you up and gets you excited, and go from there. Ultimately, you will be able to take the motivation and hard work you applied to your sport and channel it into finding success in a new pursuit. It may take time, and the beginning may feel overwhelming, but think of it like building a muscle. It might hurt, and it might be slow going, but eventually you will see the results!

Another important step is to process your feelings about stopping your sport. You can explore what being an athlete has contributed to your life, what it is/will be like to no longer identify as an athlete or be part of a team, and what emotions that brings up for you. In addition, you should process through any fears, hopes, and beliefs you have about entering this next life phase. If you have already stopped playing your sport and are going through the grieving process, know that this is normal. It’s okay – actually, necessary – to allow yourself to grieve, and you don’t have to go through it alone. You can do this work with teammates and mentors, in therapy, or as part of a support group. 

Another important factor to consider is continuation of belonging and social support – two major benefits athletes receive from being a part of a team. Again, you don’t have to go through this transition alone! Be intentional about checking in with your team members who are going through the same situation, and make a plan for how to support one another through this time. You should also seek out groups of individuals with similar interests outside of your sports team. For example, you might sign up for intramural sports, take an art or photography class, or get involved in a company with lots of other motivated young people. It’s important to remember that building social relationships outside of sports can take work and take time, and they may look and feel slightly different than the ones you had in college.

The transition from athlete to the “real world” can be a tricky one, so if you are going through it, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to mourn the loss of your athlete identity. And it’s okay to feel scared or anxious about what lies ahead. At the same time, it’s okay to look forward to how you will learn, grow, and find success – whatever that looks like for you – over the next several decades! There is so much more to you than the title of athlete. And your friends, teammates, and mentors are there to help you along your journey. We are all rooting for you! 

Book with author of this blog post, Kaitlin Lowey, here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Increase Self Esteem

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem literally means to esteem, or respect, yourself. Having high self-esteem means that you have a positive image of yourself. Let's look at where such a positive self-image comes from.

In her classic book Celebrate Yourself, Dorothy Corkville Briggs makes a distinction between the real you and your self-image. She says that the real you is unique and unchanging. Most of your self-image-what you think is true about yourself-is learned. It is not necessarily accurate at all!

Where are your beliefs about yourself drawn from? Where did you learn them? If you think about it, you'll see that they came from:

·    What others said about you

·    What others told you

·    What others did to you

Your self-image is the result of all the messages you heard about yourself as a child. These messages added up to a set of beliefs about who you are. It may have nothing to do with who you really are.

For example, you may believe things like:

·    I'm not very smart.

·    I'm naturally passive.

·    Girls aren't any good at math.

·    I'm too old to start over.

·    All of the women in the Breski family become doctors.

·    I'm painfully shy.

·    The Hurleys never lie.

In addition to learning to believe certain things during our early years, there are certain situations that make most people feel inferior or lacking in self-esteem.

Some examples are:

·    Being criticized

·    Not being loved

·    Being rejected

·    Experiencing failure

What Low Self-Esteem Feels Like

In situations like these above, it is not uncommon to feel emotions such as:

·    Sadness

·    Inferiority

·    Anger

·    Jealousy

·    Rejection

Cognitive Therapy

Cognitive therapy is one of the most successful methods for helping people feel better about themselves. Cognitive therapists help depressed and anxious people feel better by identifying how faulty ways of thinking are making them feel bad. They believe that faulty thoughts cause us to feel bad, which makes us feel bad about ourselves.

Cognitive therapists call these faulty ways of thinking "twisted thinking." Cognitive therapy is a process where the client analyzes his or her thoughts and beliefs, and learns to substitute more healthy ways of thinking and believing. These therapists help their clients feel better in four steps: First, identify the upsetting events that cause bad feelings; second, record your thoughts about the event; third, identify the distortions in your thinking process; and fourth, substitute rational responses. When the client successfully completes these four steps, the client usually feels better about him- or herself.

Thinking the right kinds of thoughts is one way to feel good about yourself. Now let's talk about a second way to increase your self-esteem: by taking a look at your life environment and seeing whether it supports you feeling good about yourself. You may find that some nourishing elements need to be replenished. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do you have people in your life who:

    1.    Treat you with love and respect?

    2.    Encourage you to do and be anything you want?

    3.    Help you find out what you want to do, and how to do it?

    4.    Encourage you to explore all of your talents and interests?

    5.    Are thrilled when you succeed?

    6.    Listen to you when you need to complain?

    7.    Help you bounce back from failure without making you feel bad?

Take a moment to think about each of the items on this list. Note where your environment is providing adequately for you, and where it is lacking. This can give you clues to how to build your own self-esteem.

Strategies for Esteem Building

1.    Pay attention to how you are feeling from moment to moment. Tune in to what your five senses are experiencing. Take it down to the most basic level of "I feel warm right now," "I feel light-headed," "I feel a tightness in my stomach."

2.    Revisit your interests and goals. Make a list of things you'd like to do and learn. Today, take one step toward learning more.

3.    Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who appreciate you.

4.    Spend some time with yourself at the end of each day. Review what happened and how you were feeling. Write about it in a private journal.

5.    If you are feeling bad about yourself, consider finding a therapist to help you get your life on a positive track.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE

It is important to have goals because they are good for your physical and mental health. You can have goals for all areas of your life. Here are a few ideas:

Career    Learning

Clubs    Money

Community    Politics

Contribution    Professional

Emotional    Reading

Family    Relationships

Health    Service

Home    Spiritual

Interests    Travel

What Makes an Effective Goal?

Not all goals are motivating. If a goal is too vague, hard to measure, or impossible to achieve, it will lack effectiveness and ultimately be a wasted exercise. Goal statements should be:

•    Stated with action verbs

•    Specific

•    Measurable

•    Challenging

•    Written down, with completion dates

Effective goals have all five ingredients.

The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule (also known as Pareto’s Principle) says that 20% of what we do produces 80% of the results. Here are a few examples:

•    20% of the area in your house requires 80% of the cleaning.

•    20% of the stocks in an investor’s portfolio produce 80% of the results.

•    20% of the kids in a class cause 80% of the problems.

•    20% of the books in a bookstore account for 80% of the sales.

You can probably think of a few examples of your own. Note them here:

It’s important to remind yourself not to get bogged down on low-value activities, but to stay focused on the high-value 20%.

High-Payoff Planning

High-payoff (HIPO) time is the 20% that produces the desired results. Low-payoff (LOPO) time is the 80% that produces only 20% of the results. The challenge is to find the HIPO tasks and work on those first.

The HIPO strategies:

•    Setting a deadline increases the chances that you will accomplish a task.

•    Setting a specific time to do something increases the chances that you will accomplish it.

•    Divide and conquer: Break a task into smaller pieces and it becomes easier to complete.

•    Motivate yourself by listing the benefits of completing a task.

•    Motivate yourself in another way by rewarding yourself for completing a task.

The LOPO strategies:

•    Don’t do it at all.

•    Do it later.

•    Do it with minimum time investment or at a lower standard.

Think of your own life. Can you identify five high-payoff and five low-payoff targets and the activities that contribute directly to each?

Identifying and writing down these items increases the chances that they will be accomplished.

Force Field Analysis

For every goal that you set, there are conditions (forces) that encourage its completion. There are also conditions that discourage its completion.

The Force Field Analysis process helps you identify two kinds of forces: (1) the forces that are pushing with you as you work toward your goal (encouraging forces), and (2) the forces that are pushing against you (discouraging forces).

The process of force field analysis (developed by scientist Kurt Lewin) is based on a law of physics that says that when two equal but opposite forces push against one another, there is no movement.

Why is this important to a person working toward a goal? Because a similar dynamic can prevent you from achieving your goal.

The idea here is to avoid paralysis and encourage momentum by increasing positive (encouraging) forces and decreasing negative (discouraging) forces. For example:

Goal: Run in a marathon in 2002.

Discouraging forces:

•    I haven’t exercised regularly for the past five years.

•    I tend to start projects and then get bored quickly.

•    I live in the Midwest and weather can be a problem.

Encouraging forces:

•    I am in good health.

•    My neighbor is a runner and has encouraged me to take up the sport.

•    My family thinks this is a good idea.

After identifying as many encouraging as discouraging forces, you can map a strategy to build on your strengths-the forces in your favor-and reduce the barriers.

I encourage you to choose a goal of your own and make a list of the encouraging and discouraging forces. This will help you develop an action plan and increase your chances of success.

Your Action Plan

Once you have identified the forces that both favor and discourage the achievement of your goal, it’s time to make an action plan. Here is an example:

Force: I haven’t exercised regularly for the past five years.

Actions I can take:

1.    Start slowly.

2.    Map out a plan where I start with a 20-minute walk this Saturday morning.

3.    Buy a running magazine.

4.    Visit a few running web sites.

5.    Straighten up the room where my exercise bike has been serving as a clothes rack. Clear away the junk and move a TV in to encourage me to use the bike every other morning.

Who can help me:

1.    My neighbor, the runner.

2.    My family members will encourage me. I well tell them that I need this.

3.    The woman in the next cubicle started an exercise program last year.

Now it’s your turn. Just fill in the blanks.

Force:

Actions I can take:

1.

2.

3.

4.

Who can help me:

1.

2.

3.

4.

MANAGING STRESS IN YOUR LIFE & RELATIONSHIPS

Photo by RapidEye/iStock / Getty Images

Learn to Have Healthy Relationships

This subject could fill an entire book. In the limited space of this newsletter, let’s look at the key components of this stress-reducing strategy.

1.    Identify the sources of stress in your relationships. Write about them in a journal. Make a list of people who cause you stress and explore what the issues are.

2.    Resolve the underlying issues. For each of the situations identified in step 1, assess what needs to happen to resolve it. Make a list and design a plan to improve the situation.

3.    Learn skills to improve relationships. Relationship skills are learned. We are not born knowing how to get along well with others, and most of us learned only limited skills from our parents. Identify the skills you need to develop, and make a plan for yourself. You can learn these skills by reading books, taking classes, or working with a therapist.

4.    Avoid toxic people and situations. Some people have a toxic effect on you. If you can, limit the amount of time you spend with them. Look for opportunities to decline their invitations. When these people are family members, remind yourself that you don’t have to feel guilty about avoiding anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. In work situations, look for ways to rearrange your schedule or your workspace to avoid interacting with such people.

5.    Seek out positive people and situations. This step is the reverse of the previous step. Look for opportunities to spend more time with people and in situations that make you feel good. Think about people who make you feel good about yourself and look for ways to increase time with them.

6.    Watch what you eat. Some substances amplify the stress response. These include:

·    Caffeine stimulates the release of stress hormones. This increases heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen to the heart. Ongoing exposure to caffeine can harm the tissue of the heart.

·    Refined sugar and processed flour are depleted of needed vitamins. In times of stress, certain vitamins help the body maintain the nervous and endocrine systems.

·    Too much salt can lead to excessive fluid retention. This can lead to nervous tension and higher blood pressure. Stress often adds to the problem by causing increased blood pressure.

·    Smoking not only causes disease and shortens life, it leads to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.

·    Alcohol robs the body of nutrition that it might otherwise use for cell growth and repair. It also harms the liver and adds empty calories to the body.

During times of high stress, eat more complex carbohydrates (fruits, vegetables, whole breads, cereals, and beans).

7.    Get moving. The human body was designed to be physically active. However, in most jobs today, people are sitting down most of the time. They hardly move at all except when it is time for coffee break or lunch. When faced with stressors, we respond with our minds, not our bodies. It is no wonder that many of us have a difficult time responding to stressful events.

Exercise is one of the simplest and most effective ways to respond to stress. Activity provides a natural release for the body during its fight-or-flight state of arousal. After exercising, the body returns to its normal state of equilibrium, and one feels relaxed and refreshed.

8.    Look for ways to let go of tension and anxiety. Meditation, hypnosis, and progressive relaxation are valuable ways to regenerate and refresh yourself. You can purchase meditation and relaxation audiotapes or record your own. This is especially important because your health and long life depend on minimizing stress and achieving a sense of balance and well-being.

101 Affirmations and Positive Suggestions: A Workbook Utilizing The Power of Journaling and Self-Hypnosis
by Dr. Elizabeth A Mahaney
Link: http://a.co/0SzD9hN

or

https://www.createspace.com/3402297