Greetings from Antarctica: The Transformative Power of Travel Adventures on Mental Health and Well-being

As I climbed a snowy hill on the Antarctic Peninsula earlier today, I was struck by how exhilarating it felt to be in subzero temperatures far from the safety and comfort of home. And while friends back in Tampa frolicked in 80-degree weather, I couldn’t have been happier suiting up for an authentic polar plunge in freezing (literally) water. Why does travel, even to destinations closer to home, create feelings of happiness and renewal? 

In our fast-paced world filled with constant demands and pressures, the importance of prioritizing mental health and well-being has become increasingly evident. One avenue that offers a profound impact on mental health is embarking on traveling adventures. Beyond the thrill of exploration and discovery, traveling away from home and our daily hustle offers numerous benefits for mental health and overall well-being.

Stress Reduction and Relaxation

One of the most immediate benefits of adventures in travel is a reduction of stress and promotion of relaxation. Stepping away from familiar surroundings and routine allows us to disconnect from the stressors of daily life. Immersing oneself in new environments, whether it be a serene beach, a bustling city, or a lush mountain landscape, can have a profound impact on stress levels. The change of scenery and exposure to novel experiences trigger a relaxation response, leading to lowered cortisol levels and a sense of calmness.

Enhanced Creativity and Cognitive Flexibility

Travel also stimulates creativity and cognitive flexibility by exposing us to diverse cultures, landscapes, and perspectives. Our brains thrive on novelty, and the exploration of new environments encourages development of new neural connections. Engaging with different cultures fosters an open-minded approach and an ability to adapt to unfamiliar situations, ultimately enhancing cognitive flexibility. This newfound creativity and adaptability gained on our adventures positively impacts problem-solving skills and promotes a more resilient mindset.

Boost in Emotional Resilience

Even those annoying challenges and uncertainties while traveling contribute to the development of emotional resilience. Navigating through unfamiliar territories, dealing with unexpected situations (such as lost luggage), and adapting to diverse cultures all contribute to a heightened ability to cope with adversity. Overcoming these challenges fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy, reinforcing the belief that we can navigate through difficulties successfully. This increased emotional resilience gained from new adventures can have lasting positive effects on our overall mental health.

Connection and Social Well-being

Travel often involves interacting with new people, whether fellow travelers, locals, or tour guides. Building connections and socializing during these experiences can combat feelings of loneliness and contribute to a sense of belonging. Meeting new people provides us opportunities for personal growth, empathy, and the creation of lasting memories. Positive social experiences while on the road strengthens emotional bonds, reduces feelings of isolation, and contributes to an overall sense of happiness and well-being.

As individuals embark on journeys to explore the world, they not only witness the beauty of different landscapes but also experience transformative changes within themselves. By prioritizing and embracing the positive impact of traveling adventures on mental health, individuals can cultivate a more resilient and balanced approach to life, ultimately leading to a happier and healthier existence.

So drag out your suitcase and get packing!

Bon voyage,

Lana Phillips (Book and appointment with Lana Phillips here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/LanaPhillips

Embracing “Intelligent Failure”

In our culture that often glorifies success and perfection, the thought of failure may feel daunting and paralyzing. Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson has spent her career advocating for a different perspective—one that celebrates what she calls "intelligent failure." Edmondson's work not only revolutionizes the way organizations operate but also offers profound insights for how individuals should view successes and failures in their own life.

Understanding Intelligent Failure

At the heart of Edmondson's research lies the idea that not all failures are created equal. While conventional wisdom portrays failure as a sign of incompetence or negligence, intelligent failure is quite the opposite. It is a purposeful and calculated endeavor where individuals and organizations embrace the potential for failure as a means to learn and innovate.

One of Edmondson's key contributions is the concept of "psychological safety." She argues that creating an environment where people feel safe to voice their ideas, admit their mistakes, and take calculated risks is paramount to fostering intelligent failure. In such an environment, failure is seen as an opportunity for growth and learning rather than a career-ending misstep.

Intelligent Failure in Organizations

Edmondson's work has had big impacts in the corporate world. In organizations that encourage intelligent failure, employees are more likely to collaborate, experiment, and innovate. This leads to the development of groundbreaking products, services, and solutions. Companies like Google and Pixar have famously embraced this philosophy, creating spaces where employees are encouraged to pursue ambitious projects without the fear of immediate consequences if they fail.

By learning from their failures, organizations can adapt to changing market conditions, enhance their competitive advantage, and ultimately thrive in the long term. Edmondson's research has shown that organizations that encourage intelligent failure are more resilient and agile, better equipped to navigate uncertainty, and more capable of driving meaningful change.

Applying Intelligent Failure to Life

The principles of intelligent failure are equally applicable to areas of personal growth and self-improvement. In our journey through life, we encounter numerous challenges, setbacks, and failures. It is how we respond to these failures that ultimately determines our success and happiness.

• Embrace Risk and Change: Just as organizations need to take calculated risks to innovate, individuals must also be willing to step out of their comfort zones and embrace change. Whether it's pursuing a new career, starting a business, or learning a new skill, intelligent failure involves recognizing that setbacks are part of the process.

• Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Edmondson's work aligns with the principles of a growth mindset, as popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck. A growth mindset involves seeing challenges as opportunities for learning and development. When we view failure as a chance to grow, we are more resilient in the face of adversity.

• Foster Psychological Safety in Relationships: Just as organizations benefit from psychological safety, so do our personal relationships. Building trust and open communication with loved ones allows us to be vulnerable and admit our failures without fear of rejection or judgment, which ultimately strengthens our connections and creates a supportive bond.

• Learn from Mistakes: Perhaps the most crucial aspect of intelligent failure in life is the commitment to learning from our mistakes. Every setback or failure can provide valuable insights that contribute to personal growth and future success.

Research on intelligent failure has transformed the way we should perceive setbacks and mistakes. By embracing failure as a path to growth and innovation, organizations and individuals can thrive in an ever-changing world. As we apply these principles to our lives, we can cultivate resilience, adaptability, and a deep appreciation for the power of intelligent failure to drive our personal fulfillment.

Author: Lana Phillips

Book Appointment: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

Preparing for the Climb: What to expect in your first therapy session

Congratulations on scheduling your first counseling appointment! If this is your first time in therapy, you may be wondering what it’s going to be like that first appointment. Even if it’s not your first venture into counseling, it’s helpful to know what to expect with your new counselor (me). 

I like to think of undertaking therapy as similar to climbing a mountain. Just like the steps one takes to prepare for an intense climb, the therapy process starts with gathering information, taking stock of your equipment/tools, and making a plan. Using this metaphor, let’s talk about the first step in therapy: the intake appointment. 

Step 1: Meet your climbing partner 

Climbing a mountain is hard work. It helps to take a climbing partner with you – ideally someone who has climbed before and is dedicated to walking with you through the most challenging parts. The same is true with counseling. During your first session, I will introduce myself to you and go over a few important details about the counseling process. 

A little bit about your climbing partner/therapist: Right now I am a Supervised Therapist at South Tampa Therapy, which means I am counseling under the supervision and licensure of Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney while I finish up my final 18 weeks of my Masters in Counseling program Northwestern University. (Previously, I spent 12 years working in corporate America.) My current education has qualified and prepared me to counsel individuals, couples, and families experiencing a variety of life challenges, and over the past year I have accumulated 1,000 hours of experience in clinical mental health settings. I take a collaborative, integrative, and holistic approach, which means I look at the whole person and pull in evidence-based tools from various counseling theories based on what we both believe will be most helpful for you. (Approaches I often use for individuals include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) including Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP), Narrative, Internal Family Systems, and Psychodynamic; for couples, I also use Gottman and Emotion-Focused Therapy.) 

Step 2: Learn about the climb

A climber needs to be informed about the mountain they are climbing, including any risks, benefits, requirements, and special considerations. You should know the same at the outset of your counseling journey. During the first session, I will tell you what counseling is, what you can generally hope to accomplish, any risks, and what the process will entail. Counseling is a collaborative process aimed at helping clients achieve mental health and wellness. It takes work on the part of the therapist and the client. Together, we will identify goals, gain insight, work through challenges, and practice new skills. If you are here for couples counseling, we will develop insight into what is underlying any relationship problems and then work to heal wounds, resolve conflict, and improve communication. 

Now, about the risks. While counseling is successful for many people, like any endeavor, there is not 100% certainty. It might not be the right time to climb the mountain, or I might not be the best climbing partner for you – and that’s ok if we find that out! I want the best for you. Also, talking about hard things can bring up difficult emotions – similar to training your muscles for a long climb, you may experience some emotional “soreness” along the way. That is why your counselor is here to train alongside you – so you’re not facing the journey alone!

Another important aspect of the therapy process is confidentiality and its limits. Confidentiality is of utmost importance to me, and I am also bound by law and my professional ethics to uphold it. Everything we talk about in session will stay in session. I may seek supervision from my supervisor (who is also bound by confidentiality) on aspects of your case to ensure I am providing the best possible care. There are only a few instances where I would be required by law to break confidentiality: if I believe you are going to harm yourself or another person, if there is suspected abuse of a child or vulnerable adult, or if my court records were to be subpoenaed (which is highly unlikely). 

Beyond confidentiality, we will cover policies and communication expectations – things like what to do if we run into each other out of the therapy room, how to get in touch between sessions, and cancellation/rescheduling expectations. I highly encourage questions about anything – I want you to feel confident and comfortable as we begin the journey. 

Step 3: Check equipment and readiness level

Embarking on a mountain climb without checking one’s equipment (what you bring with you) and readiness levels would not likely result in a successful outcome. My goal for counseling is to help you achieve your goals. And in order to do that, I need to get to know what you’re bringing with you in your emotional backpack! That’s why this first session will be more question-heavy than other sessions we will have together (where you will be doing most of the talking). I will ask you about your health, family history, and what symptoms you’re currently experiencing. Since we’re shaped by both nature (our genetic makeup) and nurture (family, community, experiences, and global events and messages), gathering information about these topics helps us get a sense of how these factors may be impacting you. Most importantly, I’ll ask what brings you to counseling now and what you’re hoping to get out of it. I may also administer one or more assessments that we can come back to over the course of treatment to check on progress. 

Step 4: Map out the journey 

During our first session, we’ll start to hone in on goals for our time together – you might think about it like determining which mountain (or mountains) we want to climb, how frequently it makes sense to train, and a goal for how quickly we can reach the top. Each person has unique goals. For instance, a goal may be to reduce the frequency, intensity, and duration of anxious  thoughts and feelings. Perhaps it could be to find clarity on a difficult, stressful decision. Or maybe it could be to improve communication in a relationship, process through a trauma, grieve a loss, or increase self-esteem. It’s possible that the goals will start out more general and become more specific as we gain more clarity on symptomatology. As we dive deeper, they may also shift. We might even add additional goals along the way! 

Goals are important because they provide direction for our work together. They also let us know if we’re on the right track or if we need to switch approaches. Finally, if we are successful during our time together, our goals will help inform when it’s time to begin winding down our sessions. 

With our goals set, we will discuss how frequently we want to meet (I usually recommend weekly to start with) and set our next appointment time. I may also ask you if you are ok with taking part in “practice” (which I find is a more palatable word than “homework”) between the intake and the next session. This could be, for example, reading a brief article, tracking your thoughts and feelings, journaling, or trying out a new coping tool. We can both expect to leave the intake with an idea of where we’ll be headed in therapy as well as what we’ll focus on in the next session. 

What to keep in mind when beginning counseling

Embarking on the counseling journey is a big decision – akin to standing in front of a tall mountain and making the decision to climb it. And the intake session is sort of like meeting your climbing partner for the first time, taking stock of your equipment, and mapping your route before the journey. It’s ok to feel a little nervous at this stage. It makes sense – talking about hard things and putting in the work is difficult! But know that as a counselor I am there with you, creating a nonjudgmental space to feel, process, and work through the most difficult parts of your experience. It’s so much easier to climb when you know you’re not doing it alone. And the view at the top? Well, it’s pretty spectacular.

Book with author of this blog post, Kaitlin Lowey, here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Harvard Study Reveals Key to Happiness and Health: Meaningful Relationships with Family, Friends, and Community

The Study

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, started in 1938, is the longest study on human life with a mission to uncover the secrets to good health and happiness. The original cohort of 268 student volunteers (including future president John F. Kennedy) has expanded over the years to include their offspring, varying socioeconomic classes, and women. Data collected reveals a surprising truth about us as human beings – our close relationships are what keep us happiest and healthiest throughout our lives.

Every few years, participants of the study have completed questionnaires regarding their health, marriages, careers, success and failures, and much more. They’ve shared their medical records and sat down for in-person interviews. After pouring over data and stories acquired over decades, scientists have discovered that the best predictor of health and happiness in life is having close connections with others. Our relationships are more important to our well-being than money, fame, social class, IQ, and even our genes. In fact, people who have strong, meaningful relationships in their 50s turn out to be the healthiest ones in their 80s. 

The Power of Human Connection

Why is human connection so powerful? Multiple studies reveal the positive impacts of social connections. Strong relationships lead to better mental health, lower rates of anxiety and depression, stronger immune systems, higher self-esteem, greater empathy towards others, improved ability to recover from disease, and can ultimately help us live longer lives. Think about how nice it feels to sit with others and share a piece of ourselves through stories and experiences. We laugh together, which releases endorphins in our body. Endorphins are those “feel good” hormones that give us a sense of well-being and can temporarily relieve pain. And the more we engage in social activities and reap the benefits of their impact, the more people WANT to be with us, thus creating a positive feedback loop of human connectedness.

The Effects of Loneliness

Why is loneliness so detrimental to our health? According to the Harvard study, loneliness is as harmful to us as alcoholism and smoking. In fact, we now know that feeling lonely can negatively impact our immune system, sleep patterns, blood pressure, stress hormones, and mental health. As we age over time, these impacts take a toll on our bodies and minds. And in our later years of life, social connections and support may be even harder to find with limits in mobility and a shrinking social cohort. Nurturing healthy relationships today help buffer the impact of entering our twilight years.

Becoming Connected with Others

How do we incorporate the findings of the Harvard study into our own lives for better health and happiness? How do we make new social connections and nurture the ones we already have? It’s easier than you think. Start with the people who already show up in your life. Set up date night with your partner. Go play with your kids. Reach out to a friend today and get something on the calendar – perhaps a walk along Bayshore Boulevard in the early morning or evening, a stroll through one of the various weekend markets we have in Tampa, a backyard cookout, or just a meaningful conversation on your front porch. It doesn’t need to be an expensive or time-consuming outing – it’s all about the connection.

And don’t forget to seek out opportunities in your community for expanding your social circle. Consider attending church on Sunday, finding a tennis or pickleball clinic, signing up for a cooking class, or mentoring a young person who needs guidance in life. All of these options and more are available to you. With knowledge gained from the Harvard study, we now know the key to a lifetime of happiness and good health – meaningful relationships. Let’s get started.

Author: Lana Phillips

Book Appointment: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

Why The Transition From College Athlete to the Real World is so Hard

The experiences of athletes like Simone Biles and Michael Phelps have shed light on the mental health struggles many athletes face. A topic that has received less attention – but deserves equal standing – is the mental wellbeing of athletes who are transitioning from intense competition into the next phase of their life. 

This period of time can be a difficult one for many reasons. Most athletes end their athletic career in college, which coincides with numerous changes that all college graduates face, including leaving the familiarity of school, entering the workforce, and a general sense of uncertainty that comes with starting a new phase. But for athletes, this period can be even more difficult because it can feel like a large portion of their identity has been lost.

Whereas most college students have the opportunity to test out new identities and “find themselves” in high school and college, athletes’ immense time and energy investment in their sports prevents them from doing the same. Their athletic participation, which usually begins early in life, provides them with athletic purpose, athletic identity, structure, adoration from others, camaraderie with teammates, competition highs, and social status. But this comes at a cost. They miss out on opportunities to explore life outside of athletics, experiment with various roles, and face conflicts that refine one’s sense of self. Ultimately, this can result in what is known as identity foreclosure, which essentially means not having had the opportunity to explore oneself before settling on an identity. In other words, athletes don’t have the opportunity to find out who they are apart from their sport. On top of this, retiring athletes face the loss of being highly skilled at something, the loss of a built-in support network, and the loss of public admiration. If all of this sounds like a lot, that’s because it is!

It’s no wonder that retiring student-athletes often struggle with adjustment difficulties, uncertainty, career problems, financial issues, social problems, and issues with self-esteem, self-concept, well-being, and life direction as they transition from their exclusive athletic identity to an uncertain one. The shift away from athletics has been associated with mental health symptoms including feelings of grief, anxiety, and depression, as well as decreased social support, isolation, declined sense of self-worth, loss of interest in activities, and lack of motivation. Furthermore, athletes who have not developed coping strategies may turn to substance use or unhealthy eating habits, which are common coping mechanisms among student-athletes encountering negative events. 

If you’re an athlete or recently retired athlete, you might be feeling anxious about the transition into the “real world,” or you might be nodding along in recognition of your experience. Thankfully, whether you are planning ahead for the next phase or seeking support during a recent retirement, there are many things you can do to ease the transition. The first is to develop interests and skills outside of your sport. Ideally, you would engage in pre-retirement planning a year or more in advance. However, if you haven’t done that, there are still many ways you can move forward with intention. The key is to consider your values and interests apart from your sport, begin to develop new skills that align with those values and interests, and set goals. These steps can help you develop a sense of identity outside of athletics that you can build on. Ask yourself what lights you up and gets you excited, and go from there. Ultimately, you will be able to take the motivation and hard work you applied to your sport and channel it into finding success in a new pursuit. It may take time, and the beginning may feel overwhelming, but think of it like building a muscle. It might hurt, and it might be slow going, but eventually you will see the results!

Another important step is to process your feelings about stopping your sport. You can explore what being an athlete has contributed to your life, what it is/will be like to no longer identify as an athlete or be part of a team, and what emotions that brings up for you. In addition, you should process through any fears, hopes, and beliefs you have about entering this next life phase. If you have already stopped playing your sport and are going through the grieving process, know that this is normal. It’s okay – actually, necessary – to allow yourself to grieve, and you don’t have to go through it alone. You can do this work with teammates and mentors, in therapy, or as part of a support group. 

Another important factor to consider is continuation of belonging and social support – two major benefits athletes receive from being a part of a team. Again, you don’t have to go through this transition alone! Be intentional about checking in with your team members who are going through the same situation, and make a plan for how to support one another through this time. You should also seek out groups of individuals with similar interests outside of your sports team. For example, you might sign up for intramural sports, take an art or photography class, or get involved in a company with lots of other motivated young people. It’s important to remember that building social relationships outside of sports can take work and take time, and they may look and feel slightly different than the ones you had in college.

The transition from athlete to the “real world” can be a tricky one, so if you are going through it, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to mourn the loss of your athlete identity. And it’s okay to feel scared or anxious about what lies ahead. At the same time, it’s okay to look forward to how you will learn, grow, and find success – whatever that looks like for you – over the next several decades! There is so much more to you than the title of athlete. And your friends, teammates, and mentors are there to help you along your journey. We are all rooting for you! 

Book with author of this blog post, Kaitlin Lowey, here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Why your therapist won’t tell you what to do

One question us therapists often hear from our clients is, “What should I do?”

It makes sense that a client would want our advice. After all, we are often the only people in our clients’ lives who know all of the intricate matters of their hearts. We sit with the ambivalent feelings, desires, and conundrums our clients find themselves encountering. And, because we aren’t interwoven in our clients lives in the way that a friend or family member is, we aren’t directly impacted by the decisions our clients make. In short, we get the full picture without being in the picture. So, why shouldn’t we give them advice? 

Let me answer this question by painting a picture of a hypothetical client scenario. In this situation, a client has been dissatisfied with her relationship for quite some time. She feels that her partner cannot connect with her on an emotional level, and their sex life has been lackluster for the past year. She explains the full details of her situation to her therapist and asks, “What should I do?” Her therapist says, “Well, it sounds like this may not be the best relationship for you. I think you should leave.” 

What are the possibilities coming out of this? Let’s consider a few. 1. The client leaves her partner but later feels she has made a mistake. 2. The client leaves her partner and is thrilled about making the decision, but she is robbed of her confidence in her ability to make her own decisions and relies on her therapist for all future major decisions. 3. The client stays in the relationship and no longer trusts the therapist's opinion. 4. The client finds that she actually resents being told what to do and ghosts her therapist, losing faith in therapy and never getting the therapeutic help that would have helped her confront her deeper underlying reasons for seeking help in the first place.

As you can see, there is no winning when we provide advice to our clients.

In fact, this can do more harm than good. When providing an opinion, we may also fall into the unethical trap of imposing our own beliefs and values onto our clients – a direct violation of our ethical code. We also strip our clients of the very empowerment they come to therapy to build. While providing an answer to our clients’ problems may temporarily provide relief from uncertainty, it also reinforces reliance on the therapist to provide a sense of certainty. We want our clients to stand in their own power and trust in themselves – and to believe that no matter what the outcome of their dilemma, they will be able to handle it. 

So, what do we do when our clients ask us, “What should I do?”

We have several approaches we can take. We can help our clients to think through the pros and cons of each choice. Through this process, we may collectively uncover possibilities our clients had not thought of before. We might even go deeper than the surface level questions, challenging catastrophizing, black-and-white thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Perhaps we’ll find that the situation is not as bleak as it seems. If a client seems to be intellectualizing a choice, we might focus on expressing feelings and underlying needs. Contrary to popular belief, feelings and needs play an important role in decision-making and should not be ignored. Finally, we might explore how similar situations in the past are connected to the client’s emotions and beliefs about the current situation – or even confront the concepts of uncertainty and control more abstractly. 

We therapists are certainly flattered that our clients think our opinions are worth seeking on-high stakes decisions. But we also care about our clients enough to not tell them what to do. What we can do – and what is ultimately far more helpful – is  help them gain more insight into themselves. And this in itself is so powerful. Because when our clients know themselves better, they can make better-informed decisions that are aligned with their own goals, values, and beliefs.  

Book with Author Kaitlin Lowey: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Nonviolent Communication Between Parents and Children

Effective communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships, and this holds especially true in the parent-child dynamic. Cultivating nonviolent communication between parents and children creates a harmonious environment that fosters understanding, trust, and empathy. In this blog post, we will explore the principles of nonviolent communication and provide practical tips for implementing them in your interactions with your children. By embracing these strategies, you can build strong connections, resolve conflicts peacefully, and promote emotional well-being within your family.

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1. Empathy as the Foundation:

   Nonviolent communication begins with empathetic understanding. Put yourself in your child's shoes, seeking to understand their feelings and needs without judgment. Listen attentively and reflect their emotions back to them. By acknowledging their emotions, you create a safe space where they feel heard and valued.

2. Cultivate Open and Respectful Dialogue:

   Encourage open dialogue by creating an environment where your children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions. Avoid dismissing or belittling their feelings, as this can discourage open communication. Practice active listening, maintain eye contact, and respond with empathy and respect. This fosters trust and promotes a sense of equality in your interactions.

3. Use "I" Statements and Express Feelings:

   When discussing concerns or conflicts, use "I" statements to express how you feel rather than blaming or criticizing. For example, say, "I feel hurt when you speak to me in that tone," instead of, "You're always disrespectful." This approach encourages your child to empathize with your perspective and facilitates a more constructive conversation.

4. Focus on Needs and Solutions:

   Shift the focus from blame to identifying underlying needs and finding mutually beneficial solutions. When conflicts arise, explore the underlying needs of both parties involved. Collaboratively brainstorm solutions that meet those needs. By involving your child in problem-solving, you teach them valuable negotiation and conflict resolution skills while fostering a sense of autonomy.

5. Encourage Emotional Intelligence:

   Help your child develop emotional intelligence by teaching them to identify and express their emotions appropriately. Encourage them to articulate their feelings and needs, and guide them in finding healthy ways to manage their emotions. Validate their emotions and provide a nurturing environment where they feel safe to express themselves.

6. Practice Nonviolent Discipline:

   Discipline is an important aspect of parenting, but it can be done in a nonviolent and respectful manner. Instead of resorting to physical or verbal aggression, focus on teaching, guiding, and setting clear boundaries. Utilize logical consequences, time-outs, or loss of privileges as appropriate. Explain the reasons behind the discipline and ensure your child understands the lesson being taught.

7. Lead by Example:

   Children learn through observation, so it is crucial to model nonviolent communication in your own interactions. Show empathy, express emotions constructively, and demonstrate effective conflict resolution skills. When you make mistakes, be willing to apologize and take responsibility, teaching your child the importance of accountability and repair.

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Nonviolent communication between parents and children builds strong emotional connections and nurtures a peaceful and respectful family dynamic. By prioritizing empathy, practicing open dialogue, focusing on needs and solutions, encouraging emotional intelligence, implementing nonviolent discipline, and leading by example, you lay the foundation for positive and healthy relationships with your children. Remember, effective communication requires ongoing effort and patience, but the rewards of a strong and harmonious parent-child bond are immeasurable.

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Author: Crystin Nichols
Book Appointment: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

What is the difference between LMHC and MFT?

When it comes to seeking therapy, there are a variety of mental health professionals to choose from. Two common options are Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs) and Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs). While both professions offer valuable support to individuals and families, there are some important differences to consider. In this blog post, we'll explore the difference between licensed mental health counselors and marriage and family therapists.

Elizabeth Mahaney, MA, LMHC, MFT, LPC, LCPC, CCTP, NCC, DCC, Ph.D has a MA in both mental health counseling and marriage and family therapy with specialized training in communication, trauma and many certifications. Here is why this is important:

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Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs)

LMHCs are mental health professionals who provide counseling services to individuals, couples, and families. They are trained to diagnose and treat a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and trauma. LMHCs use evidence-based therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy to help clients work through their challenges.

LMHCs typically hold a Master's degree in counseling or a related field and are licensed by their state's licensing board. In order to become licensed, LMHCs must complete a certain number of supervised clinical hours and pass a licensing exam.

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Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs)

MFTs are mental health professionals who specialize in working with couples and families. They are trained to address the unique challenges that arise in family systems, such as communication breakdowns and relationship conflicts. MFTs use a variety of therapeutic approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Approach, and Internal Family Systems, to help families and couples improve their relationships.

MFTs typically hold a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and are licensed by their state's licensing board. In order to become licensed, MFTs must complete a certain number of supervised clinical hours and pass a licensing exam.

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Differences between LMHCs and MFTs

While both LMHCs and MFTs provide counseling services, there are some key differences between the two professions. The main difference lies in their areas of specialization. LMHCs are trained to address a wide range of mental health issues, while MFTs focus specifically on relationship and family dynamics.

Another difference is the types of clients they see. While LMHCs work with individuals, couples, and families, MFTs primarily work with couples and families. MFTs use a systemic approach, meaning they view individuals within the context of their family and larger social systems.

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Which one is right for you?

The decision between seeing an LMHC or an MFT ultimately depends on your individual needs. If you are struggling with a specific mental health issue, an LMHC may be a better fit. If you are experiencing challenges within your relationships or family system, an MFT may be a better choice.

It's important to do your research and choose a therapist who is licensed and trained in the areas that are most relevant to your needs. Additionally, it's always a good idea to schedule an initial consultation with a therapist to get a sense of their approach and determine if they are a good fit for you.

Author: Crystin Nichols
Book Appointment: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/CrystinNicholsMFTI

Book with Dr. Liz: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

How to cultivate a positive mindset for active aging

Last month Supervised Therapist Kaitlin Lowey was featured on WFLA TV’s Bloom. She dispelled stereotypes about aging and provided tips on how to foster a positive mindset and stay active as we age. You can view the full segment here. Below is a summary of the clip. 

https://www.wfla.com/video/mindset-active-aging/8430170/

Exercising our minds and bodies, staying socially connected, and living with purpose are all connected to longer, more fulfilling lives as we age and reach retirement age. But given the stereotypes about aging that pervade Western cultures, it can be difficult to overcome doubts about staying active, healthy, and engaged as we get older. 

So, how do we cultivate a positive mindset for active aging? 

• Reject the stereotypes about aging

• There are a lot of misconceptions about aging in America – false ideas like as people age, they are doomed to poor health, cognitive decline, and general decline in life satisfaction. These are myths. (And as part of a generation with parents entering this phase of life, I’m passionate about dispelling these myths.) 

• The truth is that subjective well-being increases with age, and we see a jump in subjective well-being around age 50, and this persists until the very oldest stage of life. 

• Why? One explanation is that as we age we become more emotionally stable. We’re better able to handle stress and weather storms with hard-earned wisdom. 

• Another reason may be that, contrary to the myth that older adults become more set in their ways, older adults actually report more openness to the future. 

• In addition, older adults report more satisfaction in their social relationships. 

• And finally, as we age we care less and less about what people think! There is freedom in this. 

• All of this is important to remember because a 2022 study from Harvard revealed that people with more positive attitudes about getting older tend to live longer and healthier lives than those with negative perceptions. 

• Be intentional about connecting to purpose and people 

• Having a purpose gives our lives meaning. We spend so much time planning for retirement, that it’s easy to forget to plan the retirement itself! Consider the legacy you want to leave behind in this new chapter. Is the purpose of this chapter to teach others, spend more time connecting with loved ones, building a new skill you’ve always wanted to try? There are so many exciting possibilities for projects that align with your values. 

• Post-retirement years are also a great time to join a club and get involved in a community organization. 

• Make a plan for exercise 

• Research shows that exercising regularly has immense physical, emotional, and cognitive benefits – especially in our older years. But we’re not always motivated to do it. The key is to make a plan for when you’ll exercise and also make a plan for how you’ll respond if you don’t feel like it.

• For instance, you could tell yourself you’ll just try exercising for a few minutes and see how it goes. Chances are, you’ll find the motivation to do more. You can also take a moment to envision all the benefits you will get from exercising to create the kinds of positive feelings that then lead to motivation. 

• Another great way to stay motivated is by recruiting your friends and family members to exercise with you or help keep each other accountable.  

• Finally, fit activity into your lifestyle. Take the stairs. Park in the back of the parking lot. Take the dog for a long walk. These small moments of activity add up. 

• Cultivate gratitude, openness, and curiosity

• Research shows that the number one factor happy people have in common is gratitude. Actively noticing and being thankful for the small things in life can give you the boost you need to maintain a positive mindset.

• Make use of that openness you’re experiencing. Lean into it. Get curious about what’s out there waiting for you in your retirement years. Who knows if you’re the next budding photographer, master’s high jumper, or champion pickleball player.

To Book with Kaitlin Lowey: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Why anxiety is so hard to get rid of

By: Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI

Most people coming to therapy for anxiety have one goal: get rid of it. Anxiety is uncomfortable at best and debilitating at its worst, and it’s incessant. It can feel like the constant what ifs, watch outs, and you can’ts have taken over your mind. They don’t want to feel anxious, but they feel powerless against it. Some even feel defective – like something is wrong with them.

Here’s the thing: anxiety is often labeled as bad, but it’s not necessarily always a bad thing. I know, I know, it sounds counterintuitive – but hear me out. Anxiety plays a critical function in our lives. From an evolutionary perspective, anxiety was essential in pre-modern times. It told us to be on guard for possible bear attacks, poisonous berries, and other potentially life-threatening situations. Those who were vigilant and prepared for threats survived. 

Similarly, anxiety plays a protective role by helping us avoid real threats we’ve experienced in the past or have seen others experience. For instance, it tells us to use caution when driving in heavy traffic or prepare in advance for an important meeting. In other words, anxiety is an adaptive trait!

The problem is, anxiety can sometimes become overactive – like an overly-sensitive brain detector that goes off loudly at the slightest hint of possible danger. Why does this happen? Anxiety is associated with the oldest, most primal parts of the brain that are deeply connected with our body. Our body sends signals to our brain when it senses danger, and vice-versa. When anxiety is in high gear, we can’t reason with this part of the brain. It’s reactive and emotionally-driven. We enter flight, fight, or freeze mode – which is also referred to as being in a state of sympathetic nervous system engagement. When we are in this mode, our prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brain associated with reasoning and executive functions, becomes less active or shuts down entirely. 

The question becomes, how do you get rid of your anxiety? 

There are many different schools of thought when it comes to addressing anxiety. These are just a few of the hundreds of therapeutic approaches, and the explanations are pared-down for brevity, but I hope they provide a high-level understanding.

A modern psychodynamic approach is based on uncovering unconscious thoughts and feelings contributing to the anxiety, and bringing them into awareness where they can be addressed. This often involves examining competing desires (such as the need for both freedom and closeness) as well as the influence of early experiences on expectations and beliefs. 

Humanistic counseling emphasizes the strength of client-therapist bond and puts the client in the driver’s seat. By reflecting the client’s thoughts and feelings with unconditional positive regard and acceptance, the counselor can help the client gain understanding and insight – and ultimately transform. 

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), clients identify patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with their anxiety – and the relationship between them. Then, they can enact a number of techniques to stop, reduce, or replace their unhelpful thoughts and learned behaviors with more helpful ones. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was born out of CBT and has many similarities. However, the approach balances the behavioral change-focused aspects of CBT with acceptance of thoughts and emotions.

Using an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach, clients seek to accept that anxiety is a natural part of life and use a variety of strategies to “unhook” themselves from difficult thoughts and feelings. They also identify their values and identify strategies to move in the direction of their values and long-term goals. 

In exposure therapy, clients learn to reduce their fear response through slow, controlled, and measured exposure (either imagined or real) to the thing that scares them. This approach is often used to address OCD and phobias. 

What all of these approaches have in common is the belief that once we have greater insight into ourselves, we can help our minds work for us, instead of against us.  

So, what approach is best for you? The answer is, it depends. Therapy is not one-size-fits all. Different strokes work for different folks. And many counselors choose to take an integrative approach, where they pull tools from different theories, based on what will work best for each client. 

Individuals seeking treatment should talk with their mental health professional about their goals and collaborate with their provider to create a treatment plan that feels right. And remember – anxiety is a totally normal human experience. There’s nothing wrong with you! And there is hope. 

I am honored to have Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI as a colleague on our multidisciplinary team at South Tampa Therapy!

Kaitlin joins her clients as they find relief, healing, hope, clarity, and transformation. She has helped individuals experiencing struggles with anxiety, stress, relationships, life changes, obsessive-compulsive disorder, intrusive thoughts, grief and loss, fertility and postpartum, motherhood and parenthood, athletic and career performance, perfectionism, identity, and self-worth. As an integrative therapist, Kaitlin collaborates with her clients to identify goals and choose research-supported therapeutic approaches that fit best. She offers in-person and online appointments.

Book with Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

The Steps and Stages of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

EFT for Couples is a three stage nine step process that takes a couple out of their negative repetitive fights that are causing a couple distress, anguish and pain and into a new place of bonding and connection where the fights are resolvable and solutions can be found. It was created by Dr. Susan Johnson and based on research in attachment theory and emotion, as well as, on systems, humanistic, and experiential treatment models. As a model itself, it has been validated by research to help about 70% of couples achieve some long term gain.

Stage One - Stabilization (assessment and de-escalation) 

In stage one of EFT, the therapist works empathically with the couple helping them identify and break the negative cycle, pattern or what Dr. Johnson calls the dance that keeps them separated and in emotional distress. During this stage of therapy, the therapist helps the couple begin to get more in touch with the underlying feelings, fears, and unmet relationship longings driving the negative dance. Experiencing these emotions and seeing their partner experience them, helps the couple to start to feel close again. Things at home start to go along more smoothly. There is a sense of calm and hope. Finally, in this stage, as de-escalation begins to take root, the individuals in the couple pair begin to see, feel, and understand that together they have created this dance of distress. Each person begins to understand more deeply the effect of his or her behavior on the other. Couple learns to work together as a team to stop the cycle.

Step 1: 
Assessment: Delineate conflict issues. Assess how these issues express core conflicts in the areas of separateness/ connectedness and dependence/ independence.
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​Step 2:
Identify the negative interaction pattern or cycle.

Step 3:
Dive more deeply into and feel and share the emotions underlying and fueling each partners position in the cycle. 

Step 4:
Develop an understanding and experience of the problem (reframe) in terms of the cycle, the underlying emotions driving the cycle and the attachment needs which are normal and longing to be meant.

Stage Two - Bonding 

Once the couple begins to understand the dance they do together and is able to step back and stop it or repair it when it gets going at home, they are ready for stage two of EFT. Stage two essentially involves bonding moments where the couple begins to learn how to communicate their vulnerabilities to each other in a new and non-reactive manner. They are supported by the therapist to take risks in expressing their core sense of self, in asking for the other to be there for them and in requesting understanding and acceptance. Partners take turns reaching out to each other in vulnerability and responding back with empathy creating a new sense of togetherness and secure attachment.

Step 5:
Delve into and identify disowned needs and aspects of self that have been hidden for each partner.

​Step 6:
Promote acceptance of these tender and hidden parts, aspects of self and new ways of relating.

​Step 7:
Facilitate the expression of needs and wants, and restructure the interaction to create true emotional engagement.
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Stage 3 - Consolidation of Change

After the couple has finished the bonding and restructuring events of stage two, they will begin to feel more secure with each other. During stage three, they feel like a team again. The narrative of their relationship has shifted to one where the distress and conflict is understood, resolved, and just part of the story.

Step 8:
Facilitate the emergence of new solutions to old problematic relationship issues.

Step 9:
Consolidate new positions and cycles of emotional closeness and attachment.

Sure, people still fight and sometimes even go back into their cycle. This is normal and will happen especially during times of stress. However, they are able to pull themselves out of it and be there for each other because their sense of self and experience of the relationship has changed. Because of this new ability and sense and during stage three, the focus is more practical and mostly involves consolidating gains and problem solving.