Coping Skills for Teens That Actually Work (According to a Therapist)

Not all coping skills are created equal. Discover practical, therapist-approved tools that help

teens manage anxiety, stress, and big emotions—without shutting down.

“I Just Don’t Know How to Deal With It.”

If you’re a teen (or love one), you’ve probably heard this phrase before, maybe even said it

yourself.

Between school pressure, social drama, family stress, and just trying to figure out who you are, it

can feel like you’re carrying a lot. And most of the time, no one really teaches you how to

actually cope with it all.

Here’s the truth: Coping is a skill. It’s not something you’re just born knowing how to do. And

the good news is—it can be learned.

Let’s break down what coping really means, what doesn’t work (even if it feels good in the

moment), and what actually helps teens feel more grounded, safe, and in control.

What Are Coping Skills, Really?

Coping skills are the tools we use, consciously or not, to manage stress, emotions, and hard

situations. Some are healthy and help us grow. Others just help us get by (and sometimes, make

things worse long-term).

If you’ve ever scrolled on your phone for hours, zoned out in bed, picked a fight with your

parents, or told yourself to “just get over it,” you were coping. Maybe not in the most helpful

way—but still, coping.

Healthy coping skills are tools that help you move through emotions, not around them. They

allow you to feel what you feel without getting stuck or overwhelmed.

What Doesn’t Work (Even If It Feels Like It Does)

Let’s be real—some go-to habits might feel good in the moment, but they don’t help much in the

long run:

● Avoiding everything and shutting down

● Numbing out with screens, food, or substances

● Pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly not

● Bottling everything up until you explode

You deserve better than just surviving.

Coping Tools That Actually Work—for Real Teens

Here are therapist-approved coping strategies I often use with teens in my practice. These aren’t

one-size-fits-all, but they’re a strong start if you’re trying to feel more in control of your

emotions and less overwhelmed by life.

1. 🌬Box Breathing (For Panic and Overwhelm)

Try this when your heart’s racing or you can’t think straight.

Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 4. Hold for 4.

Repeat 4 times. It slows your nervous system down and helps you reset.

2. 󰜻“Dump Journal” (For Overthinking)

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Write everything in your brain—no filter, no judgment. You don’t

have to re-read it. Just let it out. It helps turn mental chaos into something manageable.

3. 🧊Cold Sensation Hack (For Intense Emotion)

Splash your face with cold water or hold an ice cube in your hand. This quick sensory shift can

pull you out of spirals and help you regulate.

4. 🧠Name It to Tame It

Label what you’re feeling—even if it’s messy: “I’m overwhelmed and exhausted,” or “I feel

invisible right now.”

Your brain calms down when it knows what it’s dealing with.

5. 🫶Create a Coping Box

Fill a small box or bag with calming items—fidget toys, a soothing scent, affirmations, or photos

that remind you of safety. Reach for it when you need grounding.

6. 🚶Move Your Body (Without Judgment)

Not every coping skill needs to look like yoga or a workout. Dance. Pace. Shake it out. Physical

movement literally helps you move stress through your body.

7. 🧭Ask: “What Do I Need Right Now?”

This is a big one. When you’re in a spiral, pause and ask yourself:

“Do I need comfort, distraction, space, support, or movement?”

Learning to listen to yourself is a superpower.

A Quick Note to Teens Reading This

You don’t need to have it all figured out. Coping isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being

honest, self-aware, and willing to try something different. Your feelings are valid. Your reactions

make sense. And with the right tools, it does get easier to handle life’s messiness.

A Note for Parents & Caregivers

If your teen seems withdrawn, irritable, or overwhelmed, chances are they’re not “just being

dramatic”—they’re likely trying to cope with big emotions the best way they know how.

Modeling emotional regulation and helping them build a real coping toolkit (without judgment)

can make a huge difference.

Therapy Can Help Build Lifelong Coping Skills

At South Tampa Therapy, I work with teens and young adults to build emotional resilience, not

just short-term fixes. Together, we explore what coping looks like for them, not what works for

someone else.

It’s never too early (or too late) to learn how to take care of your emotional world.

Want to help your teen (or yourself) build real tools for real life? Reach out to schedule a session

today. Let’s make emotional wellness feel a little more doable.

By South Tampa Therapy | Remy Francis, MHCI

Book with Remy: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Remy 813-240-3237 SouthTampaTherapy@gmail.com

Nurturing Self-Esteem in Relationships: A Path to Healthier Connections

Self-esteem is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It shapes how we view ourselves and influences our interactions with others. In the context of relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, self-esteem plays a critical role. When it is nurtured and strong, it creates trust, respect, and emotional well-being. Conversely, low self-esteem can lead to misunderstandings, dependency, and conflicts. 

Self-esteem is our internal sense of worth and confidence. It encompasses how we perceive our abilities, appearance, and overall value. High self-esteem means having a balanced and realistic view of oneself, acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses. Low self-esteem, on the other hand, often involves negative self-talk, self-doubt, and a lack of confidence.

There are a number of role self-esteem plays in a relationship. For example, healthy self-esteem enhances communication. When we value ourselves, we are more likely to express our needs, desires, and boundaries clearly and respectfully. This openness fosters mutual understanding and reduces the likelihood of conflicts. Strong self-esteem also allows for a healthy balance between independence and interdependence. Individuals with high self-esteem do not rely solely on their partners for validation or happiness. Instead, they share their lives with others while maintaining their own identities. Additionally, people with healthy self-esteem are generally better at handling conflicts. They can approach disagreements without feeling attacked or defensive, facilitating constructive conversations that lead to resolutions rather than escalating tensions.

Regular self-reflection helps identify areas where self-esteem might need a boost. Journaling, meditation, or talking with a trusted friend can provide insights into your self-worth and how it impacts your relationships. Challenging negative self-talk by replacing it with affirmations and positive statements about yourself as well as acknowledging your achievements, strengths, and the value you bring to your relationships can boost your level of self-confidence.

If low self-esteem is deeply ingrained and significantly impacts your relationships, consider seeking help from a therapist. Professional guidance can provide tools and strategies to build self-esteem and improve relationship dynamics. Finally, recognizing and celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how small can make all the difference. Each step forward is a testament to your growth and enhances your self-esteem.

When both partners in a relationship have healthy self-esteem, the relationship itself becomes stronger and more resilient. It creates an environment of mutual respect, where both individuals feel valued and empowered. This positive dynamic not only enhances the bond between partners but also influences other aspects of life, including work, friendships, and personal growth.

In conclusion, nurturing self-esteem is an ongoing process that significantly benefits relationships. By fostering a strong sense of self-worth, individuals can create and maintain healthier, more fulfilling connections. Remember, a healthy relationship starts with a healthy you. Invest in your self-esteem and watch as your relationships flourish.

By Hailey Oliver, MA, MHCI. Book with Hailey here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/HaileyOliver

TAMPA (BLOOM) – Therapist Kaitlin Lowey of South Tampa Therapy joined Gayle Guyardo

Therapist Kaitlin Lowey of South Tampa Therapy
joined Gayle Guyardo the host of the global health and wellness show Bloom to share ways to bring confidence into everyday situations.

Therapist Kaitlin Lowey, from South Tampa Therapy, recently appeared on the global health and wellness show "Bloom" with host Gayle Guyardo. During the segment, Lowey shared valuable insights on how to cultivate confidence in everyday situations.

Therapist Kaitlin Lowey, from South Tampa Therapy, recently appeared on the global health and wellness show "Bloom" with host Gayle Guyardo. During the segment, Lowey shared valuable insights on how to cultivate confidence in everyday situations.

"Confidence, derived from a Latin word meaning 'to trust,' is about believing in yourself, recognizing your inherent worth, and having faith in your ability to handle life's challenges," explained Lowey.

She emphasized that genuinely confident individuals exude a magnetic quality because they embrace their true selves. They acknowledge their strengths, manage their weaknesses, and firmly believe in their significance, regardless of whether they fit society's standards of intelligence, attractiveness, or social prowess.

Lowey also pointed out that, often, individuals hinder their own confidence.

"We can be our own biggest obstacle when it comes to confidence. We carry around certain core beliefs like 'I should,' 'I can't,' and 'I'm not worthy.' Let's dissect these," she urged.

Lowey provided three key areas to focus on in order to bolster confidence:

1. Addressing "I should": This belief often stems from unhealthy comparisons and manifests as thoughts like "I should know how to do this" or "I should be more confident." Lowey encouraged individuals to challenge these notions, emphasizing that each person's journey is unique. Comparing oneself to others is like transplanting a rainforest vine to a desert and wondering why it's struggling. Instead, acknowledge your strengths and recognize your own superpower.

2. Confronting "I can't": When we've faced setbacks or failures, we tend to adopt a mindset of "I can't." Lowey recommended replacing it with "I won't" to acknowledge it as a choice. Then, delve into what's holding you back. Ask probing questions like "What am I trying to avoid?" This often reveals old wounds that need healing. Identify your needs and wants to shift from a stagnant state to one of hope and action.

3. Challenging "I'm not worthy": Society often imposes external criteria for measuring our worth, but Lowey advocated detaching from these expectations. She emphasized that we don't need to be everyone's cup of tea, as not everyone shares the same taste. Instead, embrace what makes you uniquely valuable and worthy. Your distinct qualities contribute positively to the world. When you allow your authentic self to shine, you attract the right people and opportunities while inspiring others to do the same.

In summary, Lowey's insights provide a powerful framework for cultivating genuine confidence and embracing one's authentic self. Trusting in your worth, acknowledging your strengths, and letting your true self shine can lead to meaningful connections and opportunities.

A Lesson for those who feel Unworthy or “Never Enough”

The topic of self-worth is common amongst therapists who are passionate about guiding their clients towards relief from negative thinking, anxiety, and low self-esteem. To gain a sense of self-worth it is important to identify what subconscious (or conscious) beliefs you hold that might be blocking you from offering yourself UNCONDITIONAL positive regard.

The term unconditional positive regard was coined by the American psychologist Carl Rogers. Carl Rogers believed that all humans are inherently “enough” and “worthy.” It was Rodger’s mission to bestow upon all his clients the experience of being treated with unconditional positive regard. Spoiler alert: that is also my mission! 

Ok, but for the sake of this post let’s define the terms. I want to focus on the “unconditional” part. Unconditional means that no condition sets you up against your inherent worthiness. To believe you are worthy of unconditional positive regard you must identity what Rodgers called “conditions of worth.” Conditions of worth are the beliefs that block you from accepting unconditional positive regard and from feeling worthy for just being you. 

Conditions of worthy might go something along the lines of……

• If I am funny, people won’t notice my insecurities

• I am safe and worthy if I keep this job or make x amount of money

• If I am agreeable and quiet, I am acceptable.

• It is not okay to show who I truly am I can be a chameleon and be loved

• I must make peace; conflict will show that I am an angry person

• As long as I stay beautiful, my husband will love me

I could probably write thirty pages of hypothetical “Conditions of worth” but I will spare you from that. The point is that we all have internalized “conditional worth” beliefs learned from caregivers, parents, teachers, cultural messages, or religious institutions. 

Once you have taken in these messages as fact, your brain starts to scan for evidence that will validate that belief. 

For example, if you believe that “good people are agreeable and don’t pick fights,” every time your partner picks a fight or confronts you, you might push down your feelings or reactions to appease them.

You do this because, “good people don’t fight back” right? “Good people are agreeable” right? You can’t possibly share your truth or advocate for your feelings because if you do, you won’t be good, and everyone wants to believe they are good right? 

Do you see the danger in this type of thinking? Continuing to live in reaction to these beliefs, with a brain that is wired to scan for evidence that bolsters them, is essentially what creates the “inner critic” in our heads. The voice that does not sound warm and fuzzy. The voice that certainly does not speak unconditional positive regard to our dear souls. 

So, step one is to think about your parents, your family, your spouse, or your religious organization. Try to identify any messages you’ve learned that set you up against your inherent worthiness with any “condition” that you must meet. 

Once you are aware of these messages you can begin to externalize them. For example, when you hear the thought: 

“I shouldn’t speak up because I will be seen as too much” you might say “I notice I am having the thought that I shouldn’t speak up because I will be seen as too much.” You might say, “I am hearing my moms voice in my head.” At that, you might begin to chuckle as you notice that some of the thoughts in your head are not your true thoughts but merely conditioned beliefs that your little child brain absorbed as absolute truth. 

At this point, you have awareness which is a powerful tool. Once you’re aware you can choose not to put energy towards that thought and more importantly you can choose not to act in reaction to that thought. 

Sometimes we have all these negative feelings towards ourselves and fears that drive us. We identify with them and think they are us. What a relief when we can understand that those thoughts aren’t us. The inner critic is not you and you don’t have to act in reaction to it. 

My final thought is that when you experience anxiety when trying to go against the thoughts, remember that you can tolerate it. The only reason it feels scary is because you have never opposed those thoughts in the past. The more you notice them, do the scary thing and act from your thoughts (not your conditioned thoughts) the more you essentially become you. 

Maybe it is just me, but I don’t want to live in a world where I must earn my worth or worthiness. Most people when looking at an innocent child, inherently know there is something worthy about them regardless of what they do, how they look, what they say, etc. We are still those innocent children deep down. The more we live from a place of worthiness the freer we become to treat others with such unconditional positive regard. 

I hope this blog taught you something or sparked an insight. If you have questions about this topic or want to explore your past and conditions of worth, I offer free 15 min consultations and would love to get to know you. 

Shaundra McGuire, MFTI 813-298-8905

Book With Shaundra: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/ShaundraMcguireMFTI