What It Means to Make the Unconscious Conscious

One of the most well-known ideas in psychodynamic therapy is the phrase “making the unconscious

conscious.” But what does that actually mean?

It doesn’t mean uncovering buried secrets or analyzing every dream. It’s about gently shining a light on the parts

of ourselves that we may not fully see—the emotional habits, fears, assumptions, and patterns we repeat

without quite knowing why.

These unconscious patterns are often the root of what brings people to therapy.

What Is the Unconscious?

The unconscious isn’t some mysterious or separate part of the mind. It’s simply made up of the thoughts,

feelings, memories, and emotional experiences we’ve pushed out of awareness—usually because they were

painful, confusing, or overwhelming at the time.

These experiences still live in us. They can shape how we respond to others, how we protect ourselves, how we

feel in relationships, and how we interpret the world. We may not always realize it, but the past can quietly

influence our present in ways that feel automatic or puzzling.

How Unconscious Patterns Show Up

You might notice yourself reacting strongly to a partner or withdrawing when you feel criticized. You might

constantly doubt yourself or sabotage things that are going well. You may feel stuck in patterns you don’t fully

understand.

These moments often have roots in earlier experiences. We may be repeating a familiar emotional script—one

that once helped us cope but no longer serves us.

Therapy as a Process of Discovery

Psychodynamic therapy helps us notice these patterns with curiosity, not judgment. The therapist and client

explore together—paying attention to recurring themes, emotional triggers, and relational dynamics that unfold

both inside and outside the therapy room.

As these unconscious patterns come into awareness, they begin to loosen. What was once automatic becomes

something we can feel, think about, and respond to with more choice and clarity.

Why This Matters

Making the unconscious conscious allows us to step out of survival mode and into a deeper, more authentic

relationship with ourselves. It helps us stop living in reaction to old wounds and begin creating new, more

flexible ways of being.

Insight on its own isn’t everything. But when we pair it with compassion, safety, and emotional connection, it

can be truly transformative.

Thanks for reading.

My name is Amber, and I’m a Master’s-level mental health counselor in training, practicing under supervision

at South Tampa Therapy. I offer warm, collaborative psychodynamic therapy rooted in insight, self-

compassion, and a deep respect for your lived experience. If this kind of work speaks to you, you can book a

session with me here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Amber

Why We Repeat Old Patterns in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself in a familiar emotional dynamic—feeling rejected, unseen, overly responsible, or

afraid of being too much—even when the people around you are different? It’s a common experience, and

psychodynamic therapy sees it not as a flaw, but as a clue.

We tend to repeat what we know. Not because we want to suffer, but because our emotional templates were

shaped early, and they quietly guide how we interpret and respond to others. These patterns can feel frustrating,

confusing, and hard to break—but they’re also meaningful, and they can be worked with.

Relationships as Emotional Blueprints

Our earliest relationships teach us what to expect from closeness. We learn how safe it is to depend on others,

how to manage disappointment or rejection, and how to regulate emotions with or without support. These

emotional lessons often happen beneath the surface.

As we grow up, we don’t leave those expectations behind. We carry them with us—into friendships, romantic

partnerships, even the therapy relationship. We might assume that we’ll be judged, abandoned, smothered, or

overlooked, even if no one has said or done anything yet.

Why We Repeat What Hurts

Sometimes we repeat painful patterns because they feel familiar. Other times, we unconsciously recreate

situations in the hope of mastering them—trying to get a different outcome this time. We may feel drawn to

certain types of people or dynamics, not realizing we’re revisiting an old emotional wound.

Psychodynamic therapy sees these repetitions not as failures, but as attempts to work something out. They’re

signals that a part of us is still seeking understanding, healing, or resolution.

The Role of the Therapy Relationship

One of the unique things about psychodynamic therapy is that it pays close attention to what happens in the

therapy relationship. That’s not because it’s about the therapist—it’s because the emotional patterns we carry

often show up there, too.

If someone fears rejection, they might hold back in therapy. If someone expects to be criticized, they may brace

for it without realizing. These moments are opportunities—not to analyze or correct, but to notice what’s

happening together. Over time, the therapy relationship can offer a new kind of experience: one where

emotional patterns can be explored, felt, and slowly transformed.

Breaking the Cycle with Compassion

Once we begin to see these patterns clearly, we can respond to them differently. We can start to recognize when

we’re caught in something old. We can pause, reflect, and make new choices.

Most importantly, we can bring compassion to the part of us that keeps repeating—not because it’s broken, but

because it learned to survive the best way it could.

Thanks for reading.

My name is Amber, and I’m a Master’s-level mental health counselor in training, practicing under supervision

at South Tampa Therapy. I offer warm, collaborative psychodynamic therapy rooted in insight, self-

compassion, and a deep respect for your lived experience. If this kind of work speaks to you, you can book a

session with me here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Amber

How Erikson’s Theory Helps Us Understand Ourselves~ At Every Age!

Growth doesn’t end when childhood does.

That’s one of the most powerful messages from Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development. Unlike some models that focus only on early life, Erikson believed that every stage of life—infancy to late adulthood—presents us with meaningful emotional tasks. And these tasks continue to shape how we see ourselves and relate to others throughout our lives.

Whether you’re navigating identity in your 20s, intimacy in your 30s, or legacy in your 50s, Erikson’s work offers a helpful roadmap for understanding why certain questions keep surfacing—and what they’re asking of us now.

Life Stages as Emotional Milestones

Erikson outlined eight stages of development, each with a core question or “tension” between two emotional needs:

• Infancy: Trust vs. Mistrust
  Can I rely on others? Is the world safe?

• Early Childhood: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
  Is it okay to be myself and make choices?

• Adolescence: Identity vs. Role Confusion
  Who am I? Where do I belong?

• Young Adulthood: Intimacy vs. Isolation
  Can I be close to someone without losing myself?

• Middle Adulthood: Generativity vs. Stagnation
  Am I making a meaningful impact?

• Older Adulthood: Integrity vs. Despair
  Did my life matter? Can I accept the journey I’ve lived?

Each stage builds on the one before it. If trust was hard to form early in life, it might ripple into struggles with intimacy or identity later on. But the beauty of Erikson’s model is that it’s never too late to revisit, repair, or explore a developmental task in a new light.

Why This Matters in Therapy

Most people don’t walk into therapy saying, “I’m stuck in the autonomy stage.” But they do say things like:

• “I have a hard time setting boundaries.”

• “I feel like I’ve lost myself in this relationship.”

• “I don’t know what my purpose is anymore.”

These are echoes of emotional tasks we may not have fully completed. In psychodynamic therapy, we don’t just look at behavior—we explore the why beneath it. What emotional needs weren’t met? What patterns are still playing out? What internal questions are still unresolved?

When we understand where these struggles come from, we can stop judging ourselves—and start healing.

You’re Not Behind—You’re Human

Erikson’s stages aren’t a checklist. They’re not a race. Life events like loss, trauma, illness, caregiving, or major transitions can pull us back into emotional territory we thought we’d left behind.

A betrayal might resurface old trust wounds. A divorce might trigger identity confusion. A career change might lead to questions about meaning and legacy. This isn’t regression—it’s being alive.

Therapy can help you re-engage with these stages, not by “fixing” the past, but by creating space to grow in the present.

Growth Is Ongoing—and So Are You

Erikson’s theory reminds us that we are always becoming. Even in adulthood, we’re not finished. We’re still growing, integrating, and shaping who we are. And if you’re struggling with a particular theme—identity, connection, trust, purpose—it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re in the middle of something meaningful.

And that’s where therapy can help.

Thanks for reading.

I’m Amber, a Master’s-level counselor here at South Tampa Therapy. I offer warm, collaborative psychodynamic therapy that honors your story, your complexity, and your capacity for healing—no matter what stage of life you’re in. If this work resonates with you, I’d love to connect.

👉 Book a session with me here. https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Amber

Why We Use Defense Mechanisms (And Why They’re Not a Bad Thing)

Have you ever noticed yourself cracking a joke when things get serious? Or brushing off a painful experience with, “It wasn’t that big of a deal”? These subtle patterns might not seem like much, but they’re actually doing something important.

They’re protecting you.

In psychodynamic therapy, we call these kinds of responses defense mechanisms—and despite how that might sound, they’re not bad, immature, or wrong. They’re creative, adaptive strategies we develop to cope with stress, pain, and overwhelming emotions. Most of the time, they happen without us even realizing it.

Let’s take a closer look at what defenses really are—and why they deserve our compassion, not our judgment.

What Are Defense Mechanisms?

Defense mechanisms are unconscious ways we protect ourselves from emotional discomfort, internal conflict, or painful memories. They show up as patterns of thinking, behaving, or relating that helped us get through tough moments—especially when we were young and didn’t have better tools yet.

Some are easy to spot. Others are so woven into our daily lives that we hardly recognize them.

Common Defenses You Might Recognize:

• Intellectualizing – staying in your head to avoid feeling what's in your heart

• Minimizing – “It’s fine, I’m fine,” even when it’s really not

• People-pleasing – taking care of others to avoid rejection or conflict

• Sarcasm or humor – using wit to dodge emotional vulnerability

• Withdrawal – shutting down or pulling away when you feel hurt

• Perfectionism – striving for control to avoid shame or failure

These aren’t random habits. They’re protections. And at one point, they worked.

Why We Develop Defenses in the First Place

Most defenses begin in childhood, when we’re still figuring out how to handle big emotions in a world that may not feel safe or validating. If you grew up in an environment where your feelings were dismissed or your needs were unmet, you learned to adapt.

• A child who felt emotionally unsafe might grow into an adult who avoids closeness.

• A child who feared rejection might become someone who over-gives or self-sacrifices.

• A child who was often blamed might develop a harsh inner critic to stay “one step ahead” of judgment.

This is your nervous system’s way of protecting you. Not dysfunction—survival.

What Therapy Offers

In therapy, we don’t rush to tear down defenses. We get curious about them.

We ask:

What is this defense trying to protect?
When did I first learn to use it?
What might it feel like to lower this guard—just a little?

As we create a space of emotional safety and trust, defenses start to soften—not because we force them away, but because we no longer need them in the same way.

Over time, that allows for more freedom, more authenticity, and a deeper sense of connection—with yourself and others.

Learning to Hold Defenses with Compassion

It’s so easy to beat ourselves up for the very strategies that helped us survive. But self-judgment only keeps us stuck in shame. What we really need is self-compassion and a sense of context.

You weren’t weak for developing defenses. You were wise.

Now, with more support and insight, you get to choose which defenses still serve you—and which ones you’re ready to thank and release.

Ready to Explore This Kind of Work?

Hi, I’m Amber, a Master’s-level counselor at South Tampa Therapy. I specialize in warm, collaborative psychodynamic therapy that honors your lived experience and helps you gently explore the “why” behind your patterns—with compassion, not criticism.

If this kind of inner work speaks to you, I’d love to connect.

👉 Book a session with me here.

South Tampa Therapy | Psychodynamic Counseling • Relational Insight • Self-Compassion

What Is Psychodynamic Therapy About?

Psychodynamic therapy is grounded in the belief that emotional difficulties often stem from internal

experiences that are not fully conscious. It believes that our early relationships, unspoken losses, and unmet

needs often shape how we see ourselves and relate to others. These early experiences can leave emotional

imprints that continue to influence our current patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior—even when we are

not aware of their origins.

Emotions as Signals of Deeper Experience

Psychodynamic therapy sees emotions as meaningful signals that point toward something deeper. It encourages

exploration through questions such as: Why might I feel this way? Where did this reaction come from? How

might my past relationships be shaping how I experience the present? These inquiries are not just theoretical.

They help bring awareness to internal conflicts, emotional blind spots, and patterns that may otherwise

continue to operate outside of conscious awareness.

Bringing the Unconscious Into Awareness

One of the central aims of psychodynamic therapy is to help make the unconscious more conscious. The

therapy assumes that much of our distress arises from automatic patterns we have developed to manage pain,

protect ourselves, or maintain connection. These may include relational roles we fall into, emotional defenses

that once served us, or internalized voices that guide how we treat ourselves. By bringing these dynamics into

the light, therapy creates space for new choices and more flexible ways of responding.

Understanding the Function of Symptoms

Psychodynamic therapy also assumes that symptoms often serve important psychological functions. For

example, anxiety might act as a protective barrier against grief, and self-criticism may be an internalized strategy

for safety or control. These experiences are not seen as errors to correct, but as meaningful adaptations to earlier

circumstances. The goal is to understand them with clarity and compassion, rather than to silence or override

them.

Treating the Whole Person

At its core, psychodynamic therapy aims to treat the person, not just the problem. It views each individual as

unique, with a layered emotional history that matters. The process invites a deeper understanding of the

self—how it was formed, what it has learned to expect, and what it needs in order to grow. When this kind of

insight develops, many symptoms begin to soften. Not because they were pushed away, but because the person

has shifted from within.

Thanks for reading.

My name is Amber, and I’m a Master’s-level mental health counselor in training, practicing under supervision

at South Tampa Therapy. I offer warm, collaborative psychodynamic therapy rooted in insight, self-

compassion, and a deep respect for your lived experience. If this kind of work speaks to you, you can book a

session with me here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/Amber