Navigating Life’s Twists and Turns with the Briggs-Myers Personality Types

Introduction

         Imagine this: You’re in your late 30s, standing at a crossroads, feeling and holding space for excitement and uncertainty. You’ve been walking a familiar path, but now you’re questioning if it’s truly the right one. That was me not too long ago. I felt a powerful urge to realign my work with my true purpose. Amidst the swirling thoughts and emotions, I discovered the magic of the Briggs-Myers personality types. This tool became one of my guiding lights through the fog of career change. But the adventure didn’t stop there – these personality insights also breathed new life into my relationships and how I move through the world! Let’s dive into the fascinating world of personality types and see how they can help us navigate career shifts and deepen our connections with the people around us.

The Theory Behind Personality Types: Jung’s Influence

         Let’s take a quick trip back in time to the roaring 1920s. Enter Carl Gustav Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist who changed how we think about personalities. Jung’s theory proposed that people have inherent preferences in perceiving the world and making decisions. These preferences fall into categories like introversion vs. extroversion and thinking vs. feeling, among others. Fast forward to World War II, when Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers took Jung’s ideas and turned them into the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI); they aimed to help folks find careers that suited their true selves. Talk about a mother-daughter power duo!

The 16 Personality Types

         Now, let’s break down the MBTI’s 16 personality types. Each type is a unique mix of four dichotomies: Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E), Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P). Each type has its quirks and strengths, making the world wonderfully diverse. (See link below for full assessment and type)

How MBTI Can Help with Career Changes

         Understanding your MBTI type can be incredibly beneficial when navigating career changes. Here are a few ways the system can assist:

 •   Self-awareness: Understanding your type gives you a crystal-clear view of your strengths and weaknesses. This self-knowledge is golden when you’re figuring out your next career move.
 •   Career Alignment: Some types naturally fit specific careers. ENFJs, for example, are often fantastic teachers and counselors, while ISTPs might thrive in hands-on, technical roles.
 •   Decision-Making: By knowing how you process information and make decisions, you can choose a career path that feels just right.
 •   Improved Communication: Being aware of your type helps you communicate better with your new boss and colleagues, easing the transition.

Enhancing Personal Relationships with Personality Types

But wait, there’s more! MBTI isn’t just for career stuff – it’s also a game-changer for your personal life.

 •   Better Understanding of Others: Knowing the types of your friends, family, and colleagues can help you understand why they do what they do. It’s like having a cheat sheet for harmonious relationships.
 •   Enhanced Team Dynamics: Understanding your team’s types can lead to better collaboration and productivity at work. Imagine everyone playing to their strengths!
 •   Improved Conflict Resolution: Personality insights can help you address issues with empathy and understanding when conflicts arise. Knowing if someone prefers direct communication or values harmony can make all the difference.
 •   Strengthening Personal Connections: Understanding personality types can deepen your bonds with loved ones. Appreciate their unique traits and watch your relationships blossom.

Jungian Roots and Practical Applications

         Here’s where it gets even cooler. The MBTI is like Jungian psychology’s fun, approachable cousin. Jung believed in understanding our deeper selves, balancing different parts of our psyche, and connecting with universal archetypes. The MBTI helps make these lofty ideas accessible and practical.

 •   Individuation Process: Jung talked about individuation – becoming the person you were always meant to be. Understanding your MBTI type is a step on this journey of self-discovery.
 •   Archetypes and Collective Unconscious: Jung’s archetypes are universal symbols. Your MBTI type can reveal which archetypes resonate with you, offering deeper self-insight.
 •   Therapeutic Application: Knowing a client’s MBTI type can tailor interventions to their personality, making the therapeutic process more effective and personalized.

Using Briggs-Myers in My Practice

         In my practice, I use the Briggs-Myers personality type as one of many tools, concepts, theories, and frameworks to help my clients navigate career changes and relationships. By understanding their personality types, my clients gain clarity on their strengths and preferences, which aids in career decisions and enhances their interactions with others.

MBTI in Popular Culture

         If you think the MBTI is just for career coaches and therapists, think again! A quick web search for personality types will yield hundreds of results, including fun and interesting articles. Ever wondered how to plan your wedding based on your personality type? Or maybe how does your running style align with your MBTI profile? And for the Harry Potter fans out there, there’s plenty of content on how your Hogwarts house matches your personality type. The MBTI has woven its way into popular culture, making it a serious tool for self-discovery and a playful way to explore different aspects of your life.

Conclusion

The Briggs-Myers personality types are like a Swiss Army knife for life – versatile and incredibly useful. Understanding your MBTI type can provide valuable insights, whether navigating a career change or looking to improve your relationships. Embrace your personality type and let it guide you to a more fulfilling, harmonious life. And don’t forget to have fun with it along the way – you never know what new aspects of yourself you might discover!

Find your type

For a full descriptions of the personality types and the assessment, visit: www.16personalities.com

References

Jung, C. G. (1921). Psychological Types. Zurich: Rascher Verlag. (Translated by H.G. Baynes in 1923).

By Ari Leal, Therapist

Book with Ari here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AriLeal

The Illusion of Control in Relationships: A Path to Autonomy and Acceptance

Control in relationships can give us a false sense of security, leading us to believe that by exerting influence over our partner, we can manage our needs and desires. However, this approach often has the opposite effect, pushing our partner further away and potentially causing resentment or dissatisfaction in the relationship. Let's explore why control is detrimental and how we can shift towards autonomy and acceptance instead.

The False Security of Control

The urge to control often stems from a desire to manage our emotions and meet our needs. We may think that by guiding our partner's actions or responses, we can create a sense of stability and predictability. This belief can be rooted in underlying fears of uncertainty or anxiety about unmet needs.

However, control is a double-edged sword. While it may provide short-term relief or gratification, it can ultimately harm the relationship. Over time, it can erode trust, diminish intimacy, and create distance between partners.

The Importance of Autonomy

Autonomy is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. It allows each partner to maintain their individuality, make independent choices, and feel respected in their decisions. When one partner attempts to control the other, it infringes on their autonomy and can lead to feelings of suffocation or resentment.

Tolerating Discomfort and Embracing Acceptance

To move away from controlling behaviors, it's essential to learn to tolerate discomfort and difficult emotions. This process involves reaching a point of acceptance for things beyond our control, such as our partner's thoughts, feelings, and choices.

Here are some strategies to cultivate acceptance and autonomy in relationships:

1. Self-Regulation: Learn to manage your emotions and responses to challenging situations. Practice mindfulness and breathing exercises to stay calm and centered.

2. Awareness: Reflect on your feelings and needs in the moment. Ask yourself what you're trying to achieve through controlling behavior and whether there are healthier ways to meet your needs.

3. Identify Payoffs: Recognize the short-term gains you receive from controlling behaviors. While these payoffs may provide immediate comfort, they can reinforce unhealthy patterns in the long run.

4. Communicate Needs: Openly express your needs to your partner without attempting to control their response. This fosters mutual understanding and collaboration.

5. Practice Empathy: Try to understand your partner's perspective and respect their autonomy. This can help you approach situations with more compassion and less control.

6. Embrace Acceptance: Acknowledge the things you can't control and focus on what you can influence, such as your own behavior and responses.

Finding Long-Term Fulfillment

While controlling behaviors may offer temporary relief, they can undermine the long-term health of the relationship. By shifting away from control and towards acceptance, we can foster a stronger, more resilient partnership.

Embrace the journey of self-awareness and growth. As you learn to manage your own emotions and reactions, you can cultivate a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship that values autonomy, mutual respect, and open communication.

Book a session with Author Chelsea Reeves, MFTI here: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

How Psychotherapy Retrains the Brain to Expect (and Feel) Better!

People enter psychotherapy with the desire to feel better, but they are often unsure how therapy will help them accomplish this goal. A common refrain from people hesitant to enter therapy is, “How is talking going to help?” People are used to talking to other people to get practical solutions to problems, and while problem-solving does have a place in therapy, change also occurs on a much deeper and unconscious level. This process has to do with the way the human brain is programmed and cannot easily be mimicked outside of a relationship with a psychotherapist.

Our brains are always evolving unconsciously through our relationships. People who experienced painful relationships growing up have been trained to expect hurtful experiences with others. It takes a new type of relationship—in particular, a therapeutic relationship—to retrain the brain to expect more positive experiences, which is a big part of ultimately feeling better. 

WHY CAN’T A THERAPIST JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

To understand why the therapeutic relationship can be so valuable and cannot be mimicked by, for example, advice in a self-help book, it is instructive to look at how the human brain has evolved. Broadly, there are three parts of the human brain that represent different phases of evolution: There is the reptilian brain, which evolved first and is responsible for the automatic control of vital bodily functions such as breathing; the limbic brain, which evolved second and is responsible for the regulation of emotion and behavior; and the neocortex, which evolved last and is responsible for higher-order functions such as symbolic thought, language, and reasoning.

When a person asks their therapist or a friend what they should do about something, they are essentially asking for a neocorticol solution—something that is rational and can be consciously implemented. Often, however, their problems are a result of hurtful experiences in their earlier relationships that have caused changes in their limbic brain, and only a new type of relationship can alter their limbic brain to produce fewer negative emotions and more positive ones.

BRAIN WIRING IN OUR YOUTH: HOW EMOTIONAL ISSUES BEGIN

Our emotions are meant to help us survive in a world in which we need the help of others. Over time, our limbic brains evolved to automatically create emotions, such as anger and sadness, that are meant to help us navigate the social world. When someone mistreats us, evolution has programmed us to become angry to try and change their behavior. When someone rejects us, we feel sad so we can mourn the loss of what we wanted with them and move forward with our lives.

However, when we are young and particularly dependent on others for survival, whether our emotions actually help us navigate the world has a lot to do with how other people—our parents in particular—respond to them. A child who responds to unfair or disappointing experiences with anger and is further punished for doing so may, over time, come to unconsciously pair the expression of anger with pain. As this occurs, rather than directly experiencing anger at times of unfair treatment or disappointment, they may instead experience anxiety about having anger because their brain has been trained by their social environment to expect that anger will hurt rather than help. Their limbic system is in effect attempting to prevent further emotional pain in the form of being punished, but the cost is another type of emotional pain in the form of persistent anxiety. This can be particularly problematic when people enter into new relationships (friendships, romantic relationships) where there would not be the same costs associated with the open expression of an emotion like anger, but earlier experiences still create anxiety and inhibit its expression.

RETRAINING THE BRAIN WITH PSYCHOTHERAPY

A psychotherapy relationship allows a person to essentially retrain their limbic system to no longer expect negative reactions to the expression of certain emotional experiences, and in doing so can alleviate the anxiety and unconscious emotional suppression their earlier experiences programmed into them. The therapeutic relationship does this in part because the parameters of psychotherapy recreate the type of relationship in which a person was first forced to suppress their emotions: one where they are dependent on another person to meet their needs.

A successful course of therapy helps restore a person’s emotional flexibility and empowerment so they can have greater agency in their relationships.

Just as a parent has a daunting task in meeting all of a child’s needs, so too does a psychotherapist, especially since many people arrive to therapy wanting a conscious, rational solution to their problems when such a solution often does not exist. Therapy presents a unique opportunity to heal and feel better by the way the therapist solicits and responds to feelings such as disappointment, anger, and sadness that emerge over the course of treatment. Rather than punishing a person for having these emotional experiences in the same way that may have occurred when they were younger, a therapist can actively solicit, explore, and normalize their feelings. This helps to retrain a person’s limbic system to no longer pair the expression of those emotions with punishment. As this de-coupling unconsciously occurs, the person becomes more easily able to tolerate the experience and expression of emotions.

THRIVING IN ADULTHOOD

This shift in tolerance for emotions naturally causes a person’s anxiety level to diminish because their mind is no longer fighting to ward off their innate emotional impulses. In addition to symptom relief, the beautiful part of this process is it restores a person’s ability to constructively access their emotions for their original purpose—as a way of helping to navigate the social world. It is hard to thrive in relationships when we have been programmed to believe we must accept the mistreatment of others or that we cannot show others when we are hurting and in need of care. As adults, this is often no longer the case, but our early experiences may make such underlying beliefs unconsciously feel true.

A successful course of therapy helps restore a person’s emotional flexibility and empowerment so they can have greater agency in their relationships. The result can be genuinely transformative, and studies suggest people who have been through therapy show less activity in the areas of the brain responsible for creating negative emotions. Talking, it turns out, can help quite a bit when the person you are talking to is a skilled and compassionate therapist.

If you’re struggling, reach out to a therapist in your area for help.

References:

1. Bowlby, J. (2005). A secure base: Clinical applications of attachment theory (Vol. 393). UK: Taylor & Francis.

2. Cozolino, L. (2010). The neuroscience of psychotherapy: Healing the social brain. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.

3. Damasio, A. R. (2006). Descartes’ error. New York, NY: Random House.

4. Grecucci, A., Theuninck, A., Frederickson, J., & Job, R. (2015). Mechanisms of social emotion regulation: From neuroscience to psychotherapy. In Emotion regulation: Processes, cognitive effects and social consequences, pp.57-84.

5. Karlsson, H. (2011). How psychotherapy changes the brain: Understanding the mechanisms. Psychiatric Times, 21.

6. Lewis, T., Amini, F., & Lannon, R. (2007). A general theory of love. New York, NY: Vintage.

7. MacLean, P. D. (1990). The triune brain in evolution: Role in paleocerebral functions. Berlin: Springer Science & Business Media.