Is Your Inner Child Running Your Relationship? How to Break the Cycle and Reconnect
By Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney, South Tampa Therapy
www.southtampacounselor.com
Have you ever walked away from an argument with your partner and thought, “Why did I say that?” or “That’s not how I wanted to show up…”?
You’re not alone.
In the heat of the moment, many of us aren’t responding as our Wise Adult selves. Instead, we’re reacting from what I call the Adaptive Child — the part of us that learned how to survive conflict growing up. The problem? That part of you is completely out of their depth when it comes to navigating the complexities of adult relationships.
You might recognize yourself in one of these patterns:
→ The Fixer – You bend over backward to smooth things over, keep the peace, and “just get along.” Even if it costs you your voice.
→ The Fighter – You raise your voice, dig in deeper, and push harder to be heard. But what you really crave is understanding.
→ The Fleer – You shut down, go quiet, or check out altogether. If you don’t engage, you can’t get hurt… right?
These automatic reactions make perfect sense — they once protected you. But they won’t build a thriving, secure relationship today.
So, how do you shift?
That’s exactly what we’ll explore in our Initial Intake and Follow-up appointments. Book an INTENSIVE THERAPY SESSION to go even deeper and recover healing quicker. In this deeply supportive space, I’ll guide you through:
✔ Identifying your default conflict style — with compassion, not judgment.
✔ Learning how to shift from reactivity into repair — even in those “you just don’t get it” moments.
✔ Building skills to communicate with clarity and care, even when you're triggered.
✔ Practicing the art of reconnection — with your partner and with yourself.
The truth is: your relationship can change. But it won’t happen by hoping your partner magically “gets it,” or waiting for things to calm down on their own.
It happens when you learn how to respond — not react.
These aren’t just tools for couples… they’re healing practices for the parts of you that still carry pain. They help you speak your truth, set boundaries, and receive love without having to hustle for it.
Let’s do the work together.
With warmth and care,
Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney