Embracing Change: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Tools to Tackle Anxiety

Anxiety can be an overwhelming and paralyzing force in our lives. It can make us feel trapped, unable to move forward, and disconnected from our true selves. However, there is hope. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (often shortened as ACT) offers valuable tools and strategies to help individuals not only manage their anxiety but also lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life. In this blog post, we will explore some ACT tools that can be instrumental in handling anxiety.

Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is a modern form of psychotherapy that combines cognitive behavioral techniques with mindfulness strategies. ACT is grounded in the belief that suffering arises from our attempts to avoid or control unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, ACT encourages individuals to accept it as a natural part of the human experience and commit to taking meaningful actions despite it.

ACT Tools to Handle Anxiety

1. Mindfulness and Present Moment Awareness

Mindfulness is a core component of ACT. It involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. When dealing with anxiety, practicing mindfulness can help individuals become more aware of their anxious thoughts and bodily sensations. By observing these thoughts and sensations without trying to eliminate or suppress them, individuals can reduce their anxiety's grip on their lives.

A simple mindfulness exercise for anxiety involves taking a few deep breaths and focusing on your breath. When anxious thoughts arise, acknowledge them without judgment, and gently return your attention to your breath. This practice can create a sense of distance between you and your anxiety, allowing you to respond more skillfully.

1. Defusion Techniques

Defusion is the process of creating psychological distance from your thoughts. Anxiety often results from getting entangled in catastrophic thoughts and worst-case scenarios. ACT offers several techniques to defuse from these thoughts:

a. Name your thoughts: Give your anxious thoughts a funny or absurd name. For example, if you're worried about a work presentation, you could call it "The Nervous Noodle." This technique helps you see your thoughts as just thoughts, not objective truths.

b. Use metaphor: Imagine your thoughts as passing clouds or leaves floating down a stream. This visualization can help you detach from your anxious thoughts and see them as transient.

1. Values Clarification

An essential aspect of ACT is identifying and clarifying your values—what truly matters to you in life. Anxiety often arises when our actions are not aligned with our values. By recognizing and committing to values that are meaningful to you, you can make decisions and take actions that are in line with your authentic self, reducing anxiety in the process.

1. Committed Action

ACT encourages individuals to take action that aligns with their values, even in the presence of anxiety. This means stepping out of your comfort zone and engaging in activities that may trigger anxiety. Over time, exposure to these situations can reduce the intensity of anxiety responses and help you lead a more fulfilling life.

1. Self-Compassion

Anxiety can be exacerbated by self-criticism and harsh self-judgment. ACT emphasizes self-compassion as a tool for managing anxiety. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing a similar challenge. Self-compassion can create a buffer against the emotional impact of anxiety and foster a sense of resilience.

1. Acceptance

As the 'A' in ACT suggests, acceptance is a crucial aspect of the therapy. It's about accepting your emotions, thoughts, and bodily sensations, even when they are uncomfortable or distressing. Instead of trying to fight or suppress anxiety, acknowledge its presence and give yourself permission to experience it without judgment.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides a powerful framework and a set of practical tools for individuals struggling with anxiety. By embracing mindfulness, defusion techniques, values clarification, committed action, self-compassion, and acceptance, you can not only manage your anxiety but also move towards a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

Remember that anxiety is a natural part of the human experience, and it doesn't have to control your life. With the help of ACT tools, you can learn to coexist with anxiety while still pursuing the life you want to live. Embrace change, practice self-compassion, and commit to actions that align with your values—these are the keys to handling anxiety and unlocking a brighter, more fulfilling future.

By Kaitlin Lowey: Book with her here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Understanding Sexual Orientation OCD: Seeking Help and Finding Hope

By Kaitlin Lowey: Book with her here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Sexual orientation is a fundamental aspect of human identity, but for some individuals, uncertainty and doubt can lead to distressing thoughts about their sexual identity. Sexual Orientation OCD is a specific form of OCD that revolves around fears, doubts, and intrusive thoughts related to one's sexual orientation. If you are struggling with Sexual Orientation OCD, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for finding understanding, acceptance, and effective help. In this blog post, we will delve into the complexities of Sexual Orientation OCD and explore ways to seek support on your journey to healing.

Understanding Sexual Orientation OCD

Sexual Orientation OCD is characterized by obsessive and intrusive thoughts, doubts, and fears about one's sexual orientation. Individuals with this condition often experience distressing thoughts that they might be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or another orientation, even if their true sexual orientation does not align with these thoughts. It is important to note that sexual orientation is a natural and diverse aspect of human identity and should not be confused with OCD-related obsessions.

Symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD

The symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD can manifest differently from person to person, but common signs include:

1. Intrusive Thoughts: Recurring, distressing, and unwanted thoughts about one's sexual orientation. These thoughts might occur frequently, taking up hours of an individual’s time each day. 

2. Compulsions: Behaviors or mental rituals undertaken to neutralize the anxiety caused by the intrusive thoughts. These might include seeking reassurance from others, researching or seeking evidence of sexual orientation, or avoiding situations that trigger the thoughts.

3. Emotional Distress: Feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety, and confusion about one's true sexual orientation.

4. Impact on Daily Life: The obsessions and compulsions associated with Sexual Orientation OCD can significantly interfere with daily activities, relationships, and overall well-being.

Seeking Help for Sexual Orientation OCD

1. Reach Out to a Mental Health Professional who Specializes in OCD: Since sexual orientation OCD is less common than typical manifestations of OCD including contamination, checking, ordering, unacceptable thoughts, and hoarding, sexual orientation OCD can be misunderstood and misdiagnosed by mental health clinicians as dysphoria due to denial of one’s “true” sexual orientation. That’s why seeking help from a qualified mental health professional with experience in treating OCD and related conditions is essential.

2. Therapists can provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you to discuss your thoughts and feelings and work on developing coping strategies. Your therapist will educate you on OCD and its various manifestations to help you better understand the condition. You will also learn about the best treatment approaches and options, such as ERP. 

3. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): ERP is the gold standard for OCD treatment. It is a specific technique within CBT that involves deliberately facing the fears and anxieties associated with your OCD without resorting to the compulsions that temporarily relieve distress. This process helps to reduce the power of the intrusive thoughts over time.

4. Medication: In some cases, medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may be prescribed to help manage the symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD. Consult a psychiatrist to determine if medication is suitable for your specific situation.

5. Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced or are experiencing Sexual Orientation OCD can be reassuring and validating. Consider joining online or in-person support groups to share your experiences and learn from others.

Conclusion

Sexual Orientation OCD can be a distressing and isolating condition, but with the right help and support, healing and acceptance are possible. Remember that your sexual orientation is valid, and intrusive thoughts do not define who you are. Seeking professional help from a mental health provider experienced in treating OCD can be a significant step towards managing and overcoming Sexual Orientation OCD. By educating yourself, seeking support, and engaging in evidence-based therapies, you can embark on a path of understanding, acceptance, and healing. Be patient with yourself and know that there is hope for a brighter and more empowered future ahead.

By Kaitlin Lowey: Book with her here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): The Most Effective Treatment for OCD

If you're struggling with intrusive thoughts or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and seeking effective treatment, first of all I want to let you know that I see your struggle – and that you are not alone. What you are going through IS hard. And, there is hope, thanks to a treatment called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). This therapeutic approach has demonstrated remarkable success in helping individuals regain control over their lives by confronting their fears and breaking free from the shackles of OCD. In this blog post, I will guide you through the ins and outs of ERP and delve into each step of the ERP process.

Understanding Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP):

ERP therapy is a behavioral treatment that forms a cornerstone in the management of OCD. It revolves around the idea that through systematic and controlled exposure to anxiety-provoking situations (either real or imagined) along with refraining from engaging in related compulsions, you can learn how to relate to their anxiety in a healthier way. ERP empowers you to confront your fears head-on and make the choices that are in line with your values and goals. You will learn that a thought is just a thought – even if it is scary. You’ll also learn that if you go beneath the thought and lean into (even embrace) the feeling of anxiety beneath it with self-compassion, even if the anxiety increases for a bit, it does lessen. ERP is often used in conjunction with mindfulness and cognitive defusion practices from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that shift clients’ relationship with their own thoughts as well as with the experience of anxiety. 

Effectiveness of ERP in Treating OCD:

Extensive research and clinical evidence support the efficacy of ERP therapy as a highly effective treatment for OCD, both alone and in combination with medication. It’s been shown to be effective between 50 and 85 percent of the time. Numerous studies have consistently shown that ERP significantly reduces OCD symptoms, improves overall functioning, and enhances quality of life. While ERP doesn’t completely get rid of intrusive thoughts (because humans always have those), it does help clients manage their reactions to those thoughts so that they are no longer ruled by their OCD. 

Types of OCD Treated by ERP:

ERP therapy is effective in treating various subtypes of OCD. Whether your obsessions are centered around contamination fears, fears of causing harm or being responsible for harm, concerns about symmetry or order, or intrusive thoughts that challenge your core values or beliefs, ERP can be a powerful tool in your journey toward recovery. The flexibility of ERP allows it to be tailored to the specific themes and triggers that underpin your OCD symptoms, ensuring a personalized approach to your treatment.

The ERP Process: Taking One Step at a Time

1. Psychoeducation and Collaborative Goal Setting: The first step of ERP involves educating yourself about OCD, understanding its mechanisms, and learning how ERP can empower you to challenge its grip on your life. Together with your therapist, you will establish specific goals and identify the situations or triggers that cause distress. You will learn to shift your perspective on thoughts and also learn about the importance of accepting – even getting excited about – the experience of anxiety, instead of trying to push it away or become ruled by it. 

2. Building a Hierarchy of Fear: Next, you and your therapist will create a hierarchy of feared situations or stimuli. Starting with situations that elicit mild-to-moderate anxiety and gradually progressing to more challenging ones, this hierarchy serves as a roadmap for your exposure exercises.

3. Exposure and response prevention: In this step, you will purposefully and gradually expose yourself to the situations, objects, or thoughts that trigger your obsessions. You and your therapist will likely do this in session together, and you may be asked to try it at home as well. While the exposure may initially induce anxiety, it is essential to resist engaging in any associated compulsions or rituals. By resisting the urge to engage in compulsions, you will learn that anxiety subsides naturally over time.

4. Continued Practice and Generalization: As you progress through ERP, you will practice exposure and response prevention techniques consistently, both in therapy sessions and in your daily life. Over time, this regular practice will strengthen your resilience and enable you to confront OCD-related fears independently.

5. Maintenance and Relapse Prevention: ERP therapy emphasizes long-term success. Your therapist will help you develop strategies to maintain progress, cope with potential setbacks, and prevent relapse. By creating a relapse prevention plan, you will have the tools necessary to sustain the positive changes achieved during therapy.

Embarking on the journey of ERP therapy may seem daunting, but remember that change happens one step at a time. By embracing exposure with response prevention, you are taking an empowering step toward reclaiming your life from the clutches of OCD. The effectiveness of ERP in treating OCD, coupled with its ability to address various subtypes, makes it a powerful tool in your recovery arsenal. With the support of a qualified therapist and your commitment to the ERP process, you can break free from the limitations OCD imposes and rediscover a life filled with freedom, resilience, and renewed hope.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

Book with author of this blog post, Kaitlin Lowey, here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

What is the difference between LMHC and MFT?

When it comes to seeking therapy, there are a variety of mental health professionals to choose from. Two common options are Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs) and Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs). While both professions offer valuable support to individuals and families, there are some important differences to consider. In this blog post, we'll explore the difference between licensed mental health counselors and marriage and family therapists.

Elizabeth Mahaney, MA, LMHC, MFT, LPC, LCPC, CCTP, NCC, DCC, Ph.D has a MA in both mental health counseling and marriage and family therapy with specialized training in communication, trauma and many certifications. Here is why this is important:

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Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs)

LMHCs are mental health professionals who provide counseling services to individuals, couples, and families. They are trained to diagnose and treat a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and trauma. LMHCs use evidence-based therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy to help clients work through their challenges.

LMHCs typically hold a Master's degree in counseling or a related field and are licensed by their state's licensing board. In order to become licensed, LMHCs must complete a certain number of supervised clinical hours and pass a licensing exam.

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Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs)

MFTs are mental health professionals who specialize in working with couples and families. They are trained to address the unique challenges that arise in family systems, such as communication breakdowns and relationship conflicts. MFTs use a variety of therapeutic approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Approach, and Internal Family Systems, to help families and couples improve their relationships.

MFTs typically hold a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and are licensed by their state's licensing board. In order to become licensed, MFTs must complete a certain number of supervised clinical hours and pass a licensing exam.

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Differences between LMHCs and MFTs

While both LMHCs and MFTs provide counseling services, there are some key differences between the two professions. The main difference lies in their areas of specialization. LMHCs are trained to address a wide range of mental health issues, while MFTs focus specifically on relationship and family dynamics.

Another difference is the types of clients they see. While LMHCs work with individuals, couples, and families, MFTs primarily work with couples and families. MFTs use a systemic approach, meaning they view individuals within the context of their family and larger social systems.

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Which one is right for you?

The decision between seeing an LMHC or an MFT ultimately depends on your individual needs. If you are struggling with a specific mental health issue, an LMHC may be a better fit. If you are experiencing challenges within your relationships or family system, an MFT may be a better choice.

It's important to do your research and choose a therapist who is licensed and trained in the areas that are most relevant to your needs. Additionally, it's always a good idea to schedule an initial consultation with a therapist to get a sense of their approach and determine if they are a good fit for you.

Author: Crystin Nichols
Book Appointment: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/CrystinNicholsMFTI

Book with Dr. Liz: https://southtampacounselor.com/bookappointment

How to get unhooked from difficult thoughts and emotions with ACT

By: Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI

You’ve likely heard the phrase uttered by Benjamin Franklin, “...in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” As a mental health professional (and fellow human being), I would add one other inevitability: experiencing uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. 

“I’m not good enough.” “It’s breaking my heart.” “I totally freeze.” “Something feels off in my gut.” “What is wrong with me?” “I feel depressed.” “I’m so scared.” “What if I get it wrong?” “Do they actually like me?” “Why did I say that?” “What if I fail?” “What if I end up alone?”

Our difficult thoughts and emotions are 100% normal.

Many psychologists and counselors, especially those practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), would argue that experiencing such thoughts and emotions is just part of being a human. In fact, emotions like anxiety serve a purpose – they protect us from threats (like a charging lion or a dimly-lit alley). Uncomfortable emotions only become a problem when they show up in non-adaptive ways and stick around long past when they’ve served their purpose – in other words, when the degree of emotion we feel outsizes the actual threat. Our emotional responses are both innate (such as fear of snakes) and learned (such as fear of touching a hot stove). Some emotional wounds experienced in childhood, particularly those related to relationships, can continue to impact our emotional responses well into adulthood. 

So, what do our minds do when we experience these emotions? They view the emotion as a problem to be solved – to be gotten rid of. Again, the mind’s problem-solving nature is normal. It’s how humans have survived and adapted for thousands of years. For instance, humans built homes to shelter us from animals and the elements. We created the wheel to transport objects more easily. We even invented the remote control to save us from the inconvenience of having to move to turn up the volume on the TV. Our brains are hard-wired to problem-solve, and that’s usually a great thing! However, it’s not so great when our brains’ well-intentioned but ill-fated attempts to get rid of uncomfortable feelings only makes those feelings stronger. 

So, what happens when our emotional response and our problem-solving are both operating on overdrive? Russ Harris, the author of ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy, describes the effect as getting hooked. Getting hooked means our brains automatically label the thoughts as a threat, something we have to act on, or something requiring all of our attention (what ACT theorists call cognitive fusion). We may do everything in our power to get rid of them (what ACT theorists call experiential avoidance). In addition, we might start to fuse these thoughts with our self-concept (e.g., If I keep thinking I’m bad, then I must be a terrible person.) We can also lose contact with the present moment, instead narrowing our focus on the thing that’s making us uncomfortable, disconnecting from our experience, or disengaging. Ultimately, we can lose sight of our values (what we care about and want out of our lives) and instead attempt and reattempt the same ineffective strategies to gain control over our thoughts and feelings. In other words, we use just about every strategy we can to banish our discomfort. This might look like denial, obsessively ruminating on whether or not our thoughts and feelings are true, procrastinating, engaging in addictive substances, and other attempts to control and escape. 

The problem with these strategies is that they are not likely to work. Not only do they not solve our emotional discomfort in the long run – they actually move us away from the kind of life we want to lead. And to top it all off, they often result in a spiral of shame and self-loathing. It’s a vicious cycle. 

At this point, I want to pause and remind readers that it’s not our fault our brains are wired this way – it’s extremely normal and entirely human! And, once we accept this, we can begin to make changes that help our minds work for us, instead of against us.  

So, what’s a human to do? And how can ACT help?

ACT proposes an alternate strategy (with many concepts borrowed from Yogic and Zen principles) to deal with our emotionally uncomfortable thoughts and feelings: accepting them. What if, instead of fighting our emotions and accompanying thoughts, we accepted them for what they are: our bodies’ and minds’ attempts to protect us? What if, instead of living our lives constantly running away from our discomfort, we were able to view our discomfort as separate from ourselves, accept that feeling discomfort is normal in the situation we are in, and make choices that are workable and that move us in the direction we want? In other words, what if we were able to get unhooked?

Several tools from ACT can help us unhook from uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. For instance, mindfulness strategies work to reduce emotional intensity by enabling us to attend to our emotions and the present moment with compassion and acceptance. They can also get us into the habit of viewing our thoughts and emotions as things we are experiencing in this moment, rather than the absolute truth or indicative of who we are. 

One of my favorite ACT tools involves the concept of workability versus absolute truth. As Harris states, ACT isn’t interested in whether thoughts are true – the concept of truth could be endlessly debated. Instead, ACT is interested in whether our thoughts and what we do with them are workable. If a thought or a behavior is workable, it has worked for us in the past and/or is likely to work for us in the future. It will move us closer to our long-term goal. This is a simple question we can ask ourselves when we find ourselves getting hooked and in auto-problem-solving mode: is this thought or behavior workable? Or will it be ineffective or cause other problems? 

Finally, ACT asks us to get really clear on our values. What kinds of concepts (such as love, compassion, resilience, integrity, and authenticity, for example) do we want to guide our actions? If our problems did not exist, how would we operate? Once we know our values, we can endeavor to live in alignment with them. And living in alignment with our values results in less emotional discomfort, improved self-concept, and greater fulfillment. 

Who can benefit from ACT? 

Evidence shows that ACT can be effective for a myriad of mental health problems, including anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, stress, phobias, chronic pain, addictions, and adjustment. But I believe that just about anyone can find usefulness in the approach. As Harris writes, 

“Who wouldn’t benefit from being more psychologically present; more in touch with their values; more able to make room for the inevitable pain of life; more able to defuse from unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories; more able to take effective action in the face of emotional discomfort; more able to engage fully in what they’re doing; and more able to appreciate each moment of their life, no matter how they’re feeling?” (Harris, p. 36) 

There is much more to ACT – more than can fit in this article. But I hope this post provides a basic understanding of how ACT can help us humans get unstuck and live a more meaningful, fulfilling life. 

By: Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI

Kaitlin joins her clients as they find relief, healing, hope, clarity, and transformation. She has helped individuals experiencing struggles with anxiety, stress, relationships, life changes, obsessive-compulsive disorder, intrusive thoughts, grief and loss, fertility and postpartum, motherhood and parenthood, athletic and career performance, perfectionism, identity, and self-worth. As an integrative therapist, Kaitlin collaborates with her clients to identify goals and choose research-supported therapeutic approaches that fit best. She offers in-person and online appointments.

Book with Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Why anxiety is so hard to get rid of

By: Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI

Most people coming to therapy for anxiety have one goal: get rid of it. Anxiety is uncomfortable at best and debilitating at its worst, and it’s incessant. It can feel like the constant what ifs, watch outs, and you can’ts have taken over your mind. They don’t want to feel anxious, but they feel powerless against it. Some even feel defective – like something is wrong with them.

Here’s the thing: anxiety is often labeled as bad, but it’s not necessarily always a bad thing. I know, I know, it sounds counterintuitive – but hear me out. Anxiety plays a critical function in our lives. From an evolutionary perspective, anxiety was essential in pre-modern times. It told us to be on guard for possible bear attacks, poisonous berries, and other potentially life-threatening situations. Those who were vigilant and prepared for threats survived. 

Similarly, anxiety plays a protective role by helping us avoid real threats we’ve experienced in the past or have seen others experience. For instance, it tells us to use caution when driving in heavy traffic or prepare in advance for an important meeting. In other words, anxiety is an adaptive trait!

The problem is, anxiety can sometimes become overactive – like an overly-sensitive brain detector that goes off loudly at the slightest hint of possible danger. Why does this happen? Anxiety is associated with the oldest, most primal parts of the brain that are deeply connected with our body. Our body sends signals to our brain when it senses danger, and vice-versa. When anxiety is in high gear, we can’t reason with this part of the brain. It’s reactive and emotionally-driven. We enter flight, fight, or freeze mode – which is also referred to as being in a state of sympathetic nervous system engagement. When we are in this mode, our prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brain associated with reasoning and executive functions, becomes less active or shuts down entirely. 

The question becomes, how do you get rid of your anxiety? 

There are many different schools of thought when it comes to addressing anxiety. These are just a few of the hundreds of therapeutic approaches, and the explanations are pared-down for brevity, but I hope they provide a high-level understanding.

A modern psychodynamic approach is based on uncovering unconscious thoughts and feelings contributing to the anxiety, and bringing them into awareness where they can be addressed. This often involves examining competing desires (such as the need for both freedom and closeness) as well as the influence of early experiences on expectations and beliefs. 

Humanistic counseling emphasizes the strength of client-therapist bond and puts the client in the driver’s seat. By reflecting the client’s thoughts and feelings with unconditional positive regard and acceptance, the counselor can help the client gain understanding and insight – and ultimately transform. 

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), clients identify patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with their anxiety – and the relationship between them. Then, they can enact a number of techniques to stop, reduce, or replace their unhelpful thoughts and learned behaviors with more helpful ones. 

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was born out of CBT and has many similarities. However, the approach balances the behavioral change-focused aspects of CBT with acceptance of thoughts and emotions.

Using an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach, clients seek to accept that anxiety is a natural part of life and use a variety of strategies to “unhook” themselves from difficult thoughts and feelings. They also identify their values and identify strategies to move in the direction of their values and long-term goals. 

In exposure therapy, clients learn to reduce their fear response through slow, controlled, and measured exposure (either imagined or real) to the thing that scares them. This approach is often used to address OCD and phobias. 

What all of these approaches have in common is the belief that once we have greater insight into ourselves, we can help our minds work for us, instead of against us.  

So, what approach is best for you? The answer is, it depends. Therapy is not one-size-fits all. Different strokes work for different folks. And many counselors choose to take an integrative approach, where they pull tools from different theories, based on what will work best for each client. 

Individuals seeking treatment should talk with their mental health professional about their goals and collaborate with their provider to create a treatment plan that feels right. And remember – anxiety is a totally normal human experience. There’s nothing wrong with you! And there is hope. 

I am honored to have Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI as a colleague on our multidisciplinary team at South Tampa Therapy!

Kaitlin joins her clients as they find relief, healing, hope, clarity, and transformation. She has helped individuals experiencing struggles with anxiety, stress, relationships, life changes, obsessive-compulsive disorder, intrusive thoughts, grief and loss, fertility and postpartum, motherhood and parenthood, athletic and career performance, perfectionism, identity, and self-worth. As an integrative therapist, Kaitlin collaborates with her clients to identify goals and choose research-supported therapeutic approaches that fit best. She offers in-person and online appointments.

Book with Kaitlin Lowey, MHCI here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Five Therapy Skills to Help You Stop Overthinking

Overthinking is a learned thought pattern that exacerbates anxiety. Overthinking is exhausting. Although it feels helpful to continue thinking about the given problem or stressors it is ultimately unproductive. Over thinking and anxiety are not inherently wrong because the brain is wired to keep you safe and scan for evidence to validate perceived threats. However, overthinking becomes unhealthy when it causes anxiety and takes away from enjoying your life and acting according to your values. This post aims to help you identify your overthinking patterns and to provide you with tools to start reducing those patterns. 

Four Types of Overthinking: 

• • Rumination about the past

• • Worry about the Future

• • Over-analyzing decisions

• • Social Anxiety (for example: why did I say that? what did they think?)

OK, so let’s go through the skills!

One: Noticing and naming 

We are often not aware of our thought patterns, so we need to get skilled at identifying our thinking. Start intentionally becoming aware of overthinking and when you notice it simply saying, “I am overthinking.” You could also ask a loved one or therapist to call you out when they notice you’re overthinking.  

You can also learn your triggers by observing when you start to ruminate. What time of day? What people or situations get your brain going haywire? If you are struggling to notice your overthinking, you could set an alarm on your phone every hour and check to see if you are ruminating or how much you have been ruminating that hour. At this point you can begin tracking it, so you have data to use as your start point on your journey towards overcoming overthinking patterns. 

Two: Setting Limits on Overthinking

Now that you’ve become aware of your overthinking and are addressing your triggers you can start postponing or scheduling times to ruminate. This sounds counter intuitive but setting these limits sends the message to your brain to stop nagging you because you WILL address it. It teaches you that you have some influence over your worry. When you’re just starting out it is a good practice to schedule “worry time” each day for one month. You could schedule 30 minutes, for example, every day to address your worries. After those 30 minutes you can purposefully go back to what’s important to you. 

It is important to try and never worry in your head. You could write it down, record a voice memo, or video on your phone or computer. The point is to get it out of your head. Other tools you could try are writing a pros and cons list or using a brain dump. Scheduling worry shows your brain there’s a time and place for worry.  

Three: Attention Shifting 

Our brains are thought producing machines constantly sending us thoughts throughout the day. The good thing is we do not have to attach to or internalize every automatic thought. There is a deeper you underneath your thoughts. You are the referee. You can learn to separate yourself from your thoughts so that you can choose which thoughts you will buy into and which ones you won’t. You can start separating from your thoughts by practicing mindfulness or cognitive diffusion skills. 

Visualization is also a great tool. Try viewing your thoughts like channels on a TV. When you notice you’re on the worry channel visualize clicking the remote to change channels. This might look like shifting from fearing all the things you can’t control to focusing on thinking or doing one thing you can. This is a form of shifting focus and putting your attention on thoughts that better serve you. 

Another skill is turning your attention away from worry and towards the present moment.  This shift is from inward to outward. In any given situation when you are worrying you can return to what is directly around you. 

What can you see? Hear? Touch? Smell? What people can you look at? What are you feeling inside your body? Can you feel your breath?

Beyond your worry there is a world right there outside of you. The more you practice these skills the easier they become. 

Four: Learn to shift from Abstract thinking to Concrete Thinking

Oftentimes overthinking is aggravated by an unhelpful thought pattern called Over-generalization. Over-generalizations keep us thinking abstractly versus concretely. For example, “why can’t I ever get my needs met.” This type of thinking leads to self-loathing and helplessness. So, try and Avoid WHY questions “Why can’t I ever get better? why do I always do this? why do I overthink so much?” These questions do not lead to anything actionable, so we need to shift from why to what questions. For example, “what is one small thing I can do today for my mental health?” Instead of asking “Why can’t I ever succeed at relationships” you could ask “what is one relationship skill I can work on.” Once you are aware of your overthinking, have set boundaries on when you will worry, and have begun to separate from believing all your thoughts it is important you ask what questions. It is far more effective to pick one step to work on than to catastrophize and ponder the why’s of your life and your situation. 

Five: Shift from overthinking to your values

Before you can stop overthinking, you must know what you do want more of in your life. Instead of thinking, “I do not want to overthink” it might be helpful to try thinking “what do I want in my life.” Avoidance increases anxiety in the long run so instead of distracting (or avoiding) your unhelpful thoughts try shifting your thoughts toward exploring what you really care about. What is most important to you right now? What do you want your life to be about? Overthinking tends to isolate and decrease the vastness of one’s world. Getting clear on your values and what you want out of life is one step to reverse the withdrawing nature of anxiety. I hope these tools helped you. If you would like more support in overcoming your overthinking, feel free to book a free consultation with me. 

https://shaundratherapyandwellness.squarespace.com/contact 

Warmly, 

Shaundra McGuire, MHCI  

A Lesson for those who feel Unworthy or “Never Enough”

The topic of self-worth is common amongst therapists who are passionate about guiding their clients towards relief from negative thinking, anxiety, and low self-esteem. To gain a sense of self-worth it is important to identify what subconscious (or conscious) beliefs you hold that might be blocking you from offering yourself UNCONDITIONAL positive regard.

The term unconditional positive regard was coined by the American psychologist Carl Rogers. Carl Rogers believed that all humans are inherently “enough” and “worthy.” It was Rodger’s mission to bestow upon all his clients the experience of being treated with unconditional positive regard. Spoiler alert: that is also my mission! 

Ok, but for the sake of this post let’s define the terms. I want to focus on the “unconditional” part. Unconditional means that no condition sets you up against your inherent worthiness. To believe you are worthy of unconditional positive regard you must identity what Rodgers called “conditions of worth.” Conditions of worth are the beliefs that block you from accepting unconditional positive regard and from feeling worthy for just being you. 

Conditions of worthy might go something along the lines of……

• If I am funny, people won’t notice my insecurities

• I am safe and worthy if I keep this job or make x amount of money

• If I am agreeable and quiet, I am acceptable.

• It is not okay to show who I truly am I can be a chameleon and be loved

• I must make peace; conflict will show that I am an angry person

• As long as I stay beautiful, my husband will love me

I could probably write thirty pages of hypothetical “Conditions of worth” but I will spare you from that. The point is that we all have internalized “conditional worth” beliefs learned from caregivers, parents, teachers, cultural messages, or religious institutions. 

Once you have taken in these messages as fact, your brain starts to scan for evidence that will validate that belief. 

For example, if you believe that “good people are agreeable and don’t pick fights,” every time your partner picks a fight or confronts you, you might push down your feelings or reactions to appease them.

You do this because, “good people don’t fight back” right? “Good people are agreeable” right? You can’t possibly share your truth or advocate for your feelings because if you do, you won’t be good, and everyone wants to believe they are good right? 

Do you see the danger in this type of thinking? Continuing to live in reaction to these beliefs, with a brain that is wired to scan for evidence that bolsters them, is essentially what creates the “inner critic” in our heads. The voice that does not sound warm and fuzzy. The voice that certainly does not speak unconditional positive regard to our dear souls. 

So, step one is to think about your parents, your family, your spouse, or your religious organization. Try to identify any messages you’ve learned that set you up against your inherent worthiness with any “condition” that you must meet. 

Once you are aware of these messages you can begin to externalize them. For example, when you hear the thought: 

“I shouldn’t speak up because I will be seen as too much” you might say “I notice I am having the thought that I shouldn’t speak up because I will be seen as too much.” You might say, “I am hearing my moms voice in my head.” At that, you might begin to chuckle as you notice that some of the thoughts in your head are not your true thoughts but merely conditioned beliefs that your little child brain absorbed as absolute truth. 

At this point, you have awareness which is a powerful tool. Once you’re aware you can choose not to put energy towards that thought and more importantly you can choose not to act in reaction to that thought. 

Sometimes we have all these negative feelings towards ourselves and fears that drive us. We identify with them and think they are us. What a relief when we can understand that those thoughts aren’t us. The inner critic is not you and you don’t have to act in reaction to it. 

My final thought is that when you experience anxiety when trying to go against the thoughts, remember that you can tolerate it. The only reason it feels scary is because you have never opposed those thoughts in the past. The more you notice them, do the scary thing and act from your thoughts (not your conditioned thoughts) the more you essentially become you. 

Maybe it is just me, but I don’t want to live in a world where I must earn my worth or worthiness. Most people when looking at an innocent child, inherently know there is something worthy about them regardless of what they do, how they look, what they say, etc. We are still those innocent children deep down. The more we live from a place of worthiness the freer we become to treat others with such unconditional positive regard. 

I hope this blog taught you something or sparked an insight. If you have questions about this topic or want to explore your past and conditions of worth, I offer free 15 min consultations and would love to get to know you. 

Shaundra McGuire, MFTI 813-298-8905

Book With Shaundra: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/ShaundraMcguireMFTI

What Self-Care is Really About?

Self-care has become a buzz word. Images of spa days, face masks, and bubble baths prevail. These activities might be relaxing but self-care is more about paying attention to this key question, “what do I need?” Whether it’s your therapist or partner our human tendency is to assume that others magically know both what our needs are and how to meet them. This unrealistic expectation leads to resentment. It is our responsibility to first become mindful of our needs and then to communicate them to others. If you practice slowing down and asking the question “what do I need” you’ll find the answers inherent within yourself.  

This process is active and ongoing, but it could start with respecting your basic human needs. How did I sleep last night? Am I hungry? Thirsty? Do I need a hug? Have I laughed recently? When we ignore our bodies, we disconnect from ourselves as “holistic” beings. It causes a split between the mind and body, which can damage our mental health and relationships. 

Setting appropriate boundaries is another fundamental principle of self-care. Boundaries are essentially learning when to say no to a person or thing so that we can yes to something else. Here are some helpful questions: What areas am I feeling pushed, pulled, or drained? What people or things do I dread? What would I like instead? What can I do about it? 

Another principle is acceptance. There are days and circumstances where we can’t get all our needs met. There are partners who may not respect our boundaries. It’s Ok, this is a journey, and all you need to do is compassionately take steps forward each day. 

Some people think self-care is selfish “I have deadlines to meet, friends and family to check on, and that never-ending checklist.” “I don’t have time to pause.” Pausing is far from selfish. When using mindfulness to meet your needs, you will notice that you show up in all aspects of your life re-fueled, re-energized and far more productive and happier. Think about a hungry child, who is incapable of sitting still or doing their school work. You give them a snack and a hug or let them run around and they transform. Nourishment is not just nutritional, it applies to our need for connection, love, play, and more. Whether it’s depression or a conflict-ridden relationship, taking these basic steps will allow you to tackle those battles from a healthier place. We are all deserving of self-care!

By Shaundra McGuire, MHCI

Book an appointment with Shaundra Mcguire:

https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/ShaundraMcguireMFTI

MANAGING STRESS IN YOUR LIFE & RELATIONSHIPS

Photo by RapidEye/iStock / Getty Images

Learn to Have Healthy Relationships

This subject could fill an entire book. In the limited space of this newsletter, let’s look at the key components of this stress-reducing strategy.

1.    Identify the sources of stress in your relationships. Write about them in a journal. Make a list of people who cause you stress and explore what the issues are.

2.    Resolve the underlying issues. For each of the situations identified in step 1, assess what needs to happen to resolve it. Make a list and design a plan to improve the situation.

3.    Learn skills to improve relationships. Relationship skills are learned. We are not born knowing how to get along well with others, and most of us learned only limited skills from our parents. Identify the skills you need to develop, and make a plan for yourself. You can learn these skills by reading books, taking classes, or working with a therapist.

4.    Avoid toxic people and situations. Some people have a toxic effect on you. If you can, limit the amount of time you spend with them. Look for opportunities to decline their invitations. When these people are family members, remind yourself that you don’t have to feel guilty about avoiding anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. In work situations, look for ways to rearrange your schedule or your workspace to avoid interacting with such people.

5.    Seek out positive people and situations. This step is the reverse of the previous step. Look for opportunities to spend more time with people and in situations that make you feel good. Think about people who make you feel good about yourself and look for ways to increase time with them.

6.    Watch what you eat. Some substances amplify the stress response. These include:

·    Caffeine stimulates the release of stress hormones. This increases heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen to the heart. Ongoing exposure to caffeine can harm the tissue of the heart.

·    Refined sugar and processed flour are depleted of needed vitamins. In times of stress, certain vitamins help the body maintain the nervous and endocrine systems.

·    Too much salt can lead to excessive fluid retention. This can lead to nervous tension and higher blood pressure. Stress often adds to the problem by causing increased blood pressure.

·    Smoking not only causes disease and shortens life, it leads to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.

·    Alcohol robs the body of nutrition that it might otherwise use for cell growth and repair. It also harms the liver and adds empty calories to the body.

During times of high stress, eat more complex carbohydrates (fruits, vegetables, whole breads, cereals, and beans).

7.    Get moving. The human body was designed to be physically active. However, in most jobs today, people are sitting down most of the time. They hardly move at all except when it is time for coffee break or lunch. When faced with stressors, we respond with our minds, not our bodies. It is no wonder that many of us have a difficult time responding to stressful events.

Exercise is one of the simplest and most effective ways to respond to stress. Activity provides a natural release for the body during its fight-or-flight state of arousal. After exercising, the body returns to its normal state of equilibrium, and one feels relaxed and refreshed.

8.    Look for ways to let go of tension and anxiety. Meditation, hypnosis, and progressive relaxation are valuable ways to regenerate and refresh yourself. You can purchase meditation and relaxation audiotapes or record your own. This is especially important because your health and long life depend on minimizing stress and achieving a sense of balance and well-being.

101 Affirmations and Positive Suggestions: A Workbook Utilizing The Power of Journaling and Self-Hypnosis
by Dr. Elizabeth A Mahaney
Link: http://a.co/0SzD9hN

or

https://www.createspace.com/3402297