Navigating the "Roommate Phase" in Relationships: Tips from a Relationship Counselor

As a relationship counselor, I often find myself discussing the challenges couples face as they navigate the different phases of their relationship. One of the most common phases couples experience is what many refer to as the "roommate phase." This phase can feel distant, routine, and lacking in the emotional and physical connection that once felt effortless.

My partner and I have faced our fair share of roommate phases, and through personal experience and professional knowledge, we've developed strategies to reignite our connection. Drawing from the wisdom of renowned relationship experts like John Gottman and the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach, here are some tips that have worked wonders for us:

1. Intentional Quality Time Set aside a specific time each night to put away distractions, especially phones, and focus solely on each other. This intentional quality time fosters open communication and strengthens emotional connection.

2. Prioritize Date Nights Spending time away from the daily grind and kids is crucial. Date nights allow you to reconnect, have fun together, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

3. Reignite Physical Intimacy Don't underestimate the power of physical affection. Make an effort to kiss and make out like you used to when your relationship was new and exciting.

4. Sync Your Bedtime Going to bed at the same time can create a sense of closeness and intimacy. It's a simple yet effective way to maintain connection and ensure quality time together.

5. Share Household Chores Teamwork makes the dream work! Sharing household chores fosters collaboration and mutual appreciation, strengthening your bond as a couple.

6. Have Meaningful Conversations Sit down and ask the tough questions:

• "Why are we drifting into the roommate phase?"

• "How can we enhance our connection?"

• "What can we do differently to come back together?"

• "Here's what I need from you. What do you need from me?"

7. Embrace the Little Things Small gestures can make a big difference. Whether it's a good morning kiss or a surprise love note, these little acts of kindness and affection go a long way in maintaining connection.

8. Acknowledge the Phase Recognize that the roommate phase is just that – a phase. It's a natural part of many long-term relationships and an opportunity for growth and reconnection.

Gottman's Insights: John Gottman emphasizes the importance of friendship and fondness in relationships. Cultivate a culture of appreciation and admiration for each other. Remember the qualities that you love and appreciate in your partner and express them regularly.

Emotionally Focused Therapy Tips: Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on creating a secure emotional bond between partners. Validate each other's feelings and emotions, and be open to vulnerability. Create a safe space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

In conclusion, navigating the roommate phase requires effort, communication, and a commitment to your relationship. By incorporating these tips into your daily life and embracing the guidance of relationship experts like Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy, you can reignite the spark and strengthen your connection with your partner. Remember, every phase is an opportunity to grow and deepen your love for each other.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

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Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

Tampa Virtual Counseling Telehealth: Online Counseling and Virtual Therapy for South Tampa, Florida

Private Virtual Visits for Counseling and Therapy using Live Video ZOOM

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), a National Certified Counselor (NCC), and credentialed in several other evidence based approaches listed here. I work with adults, teens, couples, and families in South Tampa. I specialize in counseling individuals who struggle with relationship issues, anxiety, depression, grief, panic, self esteem, and stress. I teach couples how to increase intimacy, reduce conflict, communicate effectively, and build a stronger connection. I bring families together by managing conflict, and I help adolescents overcome social anxiety and low self-esteem issues.

Virtual Visits Online or Over the Phone

While my office is in South Tampa, virtual visits allow you to attend therapy sessions when you are unable to come into the office throughout the ENTIRE STATE OF FLORIDA and I am also licensed in Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Connecticut and growing. I offer live video counseling using a secure online virtual platform. I provide teletherapy sessions (a form of telemedicine and telemental health) to individuals via live two-way video sessions, and I offer couples counseling and family therapy via secure group video so each participant can have their own screen. If you would rather receive counseling or therapy over the phone, that is available as well – whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

Easy to Use on Any Device

Remote virtual therapy allows you to avoid the waiting room and commute without missing an appointment. Schedule your online counseling session by emailing me, calling, or texting (813) 240-3237 and my office will give you a link to easily log in to your secure video counseling session. The virtual platform works with iOS and Android smartphones and tablets as well as Mac and PC computers – all you need to do is find a private place with an internet connection and log in for your scheduled appointment.

Telehealth is an especially good option if:

• You seek Individual Counseling while maintaining comforts of home

• You seek Couples Counseling while one partner is traveling

• Your schedule makes it challenging to attend in-person sessions

• You want to eliminate commute time to Counseling Sessions

• You experience anxiety leaving your home or driving in Tampa

• Physical disabilities limit your ability to travel

• You frequently travel

• You live in Florida

Safe, Secure, and Private

I always respect your privacy and will maintain your confidentiality. The telehealth platform I use meets or exceeds all HIPAA and other legal and ethical guidelines regarding privacy. All sessions are end-to-end encrypted using AES-128, and no potentially sensitive or personally identifying data is stored. Your sessions are granted the same level of privacy as in-person sessions and will never be recorded without your written consent. Feel free to email me or call (813) 240-3237 to start on the path to happiness and a more fulfilling life. I am here to help.

Book a session with me here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney ~ South Tampa Therapy: Revolutionizing Relationships Through Expertise and Compassion

When it comes to the delicate art of marriage therapy, finding the right professional can make a world of difference. In the heart of Tampa, couples have found solace and transformation in the capable hands of Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney, an exceptional therapist renowned for her unparalleled expertise and empathetic approach. 

As the owner of South Tampa Therapy- A Boutique Private Practice and Team of Specialized Counselors, Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney trains and supervises each and every therapist on her team to provide and uphold the utmost care for all clients, couples, and families. 

A Multifaceted Approach

Dr. Mahaney stands out due to her holistic and adaptive methodologies, which encompass a spectrum of evidence-based therapeutic modalities. Her toolkit includes the highly respected Gottman Approach, a method known for its insights into relationship dynamics and conflict resolution. With Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), she delves into the emotional core, fostering deeper connections and understanding between partners.

Moreover, her adept use of Internal Family Systems (IFS) allows for a nuanced exploration of individual complexities within the context of relationships. Structural Family Therapy serves as another pillar, addressing family dynamics to untangle complex relational webs. Adding to this arsenal is Non-Violent Communication (NVC), a pivotal tool for facilitating healthy communication patterns in couples.

Tailored Solutions for Unique Needs

What truly sets Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney apart is her ability to tailor these methodologies based on the specific needs of each couple. She understands that no two relationships are alike, and as such, employs a bespoke approach, curating sessions that resonate with the intricacies of each partnership.

Testimonials Speak Volumes

The impact of Dr. Mahaney's work reverberates through the testimonials of countless satisfied clients. One couple praised her ability to guide them through tumultuous times, fostering a safe space where they felt heard and understood. Another lauded her expertise in utilizing multiple therapeutic approaches, resulting in breakthroughs that transformed their relationship.

The Significance of Seeking Help

In a society where seeking help is sometimes stigmatized, Dr. Mahaney advocates for the importance of seeking therapy. She emphasizes that investing in one's relationship through therapy is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards growth and long-term happiness.

Conclusion

Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney's prowess as a marriage therapist in Tampa is not merely about the titles she holds or the methodologies she employs. It's about the lives she has transformed, the relationships she has mended, and the hope she has instilled in countless couples. Her comprehensive approach, coupled with unwavering compassion, continues to make a profound impact on the fabric of relationships in Tampa and beyond.

For those seeking to navigate the complexities of their relationships and embark on a journey towards understanding and harmony, Dr. Mahaney stands as a beacon of hope—a guiding light illuminating the path to healthier, more fulfilling connections.

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Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney's multifaceted expertise and her dedication to tailoring therapy for each couple and individual truly makes her an invaluable asset in the realm of counseling and marriage therapy in Tampa, Florida. She is also licensed in several states including Maryland, Virginia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Connecticut. 

Book an initial Intake to start making positive changes! 

https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Text Dr. Liz on her cell phone 813-240-3237

Nurturing Love: How Couples Counseling with the Gottman Approach and Emotion-Focused Therapy Can Transform Relationships

Introduction

Love is a beautiful journey, but it's not always smooth sailing. Every couple faces challenges and moments of discord. However, seeking help through couples counseling can be the beacon of hope that leads to a stronger, more fulfilling partnership. In this blog post, we'll explore how the integration of the Gottman Approach and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) can be transformative in nurturing love and healing relationships.

Understanding the Gottman Approach

1. Building Strong Foundations: The Gottman Approach emphasizes the importance of creating strong foundations in a relationship. This includes open communication, trust, and a deep understanding of each other's needs and desires.

2. The Art of Effective Communication: Through the Gottman Method, couples learn how to communicate effectively, ensuring that their voices are heard, and their concerns are addressed. This involves active listening, empathy, and expressing oneself in a constructive manner.

3. Navigating Conflict: Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. The Gottman Approach equips couples with tools to navigate disagreements in a healthy and productive way. By identifying harmful communication patterns and learning to replace them with positive interactions, couples can break free from negative cycles.

Emotion-Focused Therapy: Healing from the Inside Out

1. Exploring Emotions: Emotion-Focused Therapy delves deep into the emotional landscape of a relationship. It helps couples identify and express their feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

2. Strengthening Emotional Bonds: By understanding and validating each other's emotions, couples can create a stronger emotional bond. This enables them to support and uplift each other, even in times of difficulty.

3. Healing Past Wounds: EFT provides a platform for couples to address past hurts and wounds. Through guided conversations, couples can work towards forgiveness, letting go of resentment, and finding closure.

The Power of Integration

When the Gottman Approach and Emotion-Focused Therapy come together, their synergy is extraordinary.

1. A Holistic Approach: The Gottman Approach focuses on practical, evidence-backed strategies, while EFT addresses the emotional core of a relationship. Together, they provide a comprehensive toolkit for couples to navigate challenges.

2. Strengthening Communication and Emotional Connection: Through this integrated approach, couples not only learn how to communicate effectively but also deepen their emotional connection. This leads to a more profound understanding of each other's needs and a greater sense of intimacy.

3. Long-Lasting Transformation: The integration of these approaches isn't just about temporary fixes. It's about creating lasting, positive change that enriches the fabric of the relationship.

Conclusion

Couples counseling with the integration of the Gottman Approach and Emotion-Focused Therapy is a powerful journey towards healing and growth. It offers couples the tools to communicate more effectively, understand each other on a deeper level, and ultimately, build a stronger and more resilient partnership. Through this transformative process, couples can nurture their love and create a foundation for a more fulfilling future together.

How to Find the Best Therapist in Tampa (or the Best Virtual Online Therapist in Florida) for YOU

Tips for Finding the Best Counselor in Tampa, Florida

If you’re considering therapy — whether it’s to restore a relationship, recover from a trauma, adjust to a new life phase, or improve your mental health — finding the best counselor for you is the first hurdle to cross.

Researchers have found that the bond between you and your therapist is likely to have a big impact on your growth. That’s why it’s important to do your research, ask questions, and pay attention to your own responses in your search for the therapist that’s right for you.

You may do a search by typing in any of the below examples based on your specific needs:

“best therapist Tampa” “best counselor tampa” “best online counselor in Florida” “top rated marriage counselor in Tampa” “best marriage therapist in Tampa” “best online couples counselor in Florida”

How do YOU decide who the best psychotherapist, counselor, or psychologist is for YOU when this is very SUBJECTIVE?

It is important to do your research and trust your gut!

Here are some other tried-and-true methods for finding a therapist to help you reach your therapeutic goals.

1. Consult a provider directory 

If you plan to pay for therapy through your insurance plan, your first step might be to look through your plan’s provider network.

It’s also a good idea to find out whether your plan limits the number of sessions you can attend each year and whether using an out-of-network therapist will affect your out-of-pocket costs.

Insurance Provider Directory, www.Psychologytoday.com , www.therapyden.com , www.goodtherapy.org

2. Ask someone you trust

Ask for a recommendation from a friend, colleague, or doctor you trust to find a therapist who might be a good fit for you.

A referral is a good place to start. it’s important to realize that you may have different needs and goals for your therapy than the person giving you the referral.

So, “the best counselor” for one of you might not be as beneficial to the other.

3. Use reliable national online databases 

There are quite a few mental health organizations that maintain up-to-date, searchable databases of licensed therapists.

Your search could start by ZIP code, city, state, specific specialities, and so on including:

• American Psychological Association

• American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists

• Association of LGBTQ+ Psychiatrists

• Gottman Referral Network

4. Explore local resources

Your community may also have resources for example:

Students (all ages), your school may provide access to a counseling center.

Employees, your human resources team might offer a list of therapists through a workplace or employee assistance program.

Local advocacy organizations are available through 211

5. Reach out to organizations that address your area of concern

If you’re looking for a therapist to help with a specific mental health issue, you might find local therapists through a national association, network, or helpline:

• National Eating Disorders Association

• Anxiety and Depression Association of America

• National Center for PTSD

If your job is a source of stress and anxiety, you might find local therapists through a professional organization.

Many trade unions have resources to assist with mental health needs:  

International Association of Firefighters offers help with mental health, PTSD, and substance abuse.

Resources for people of color

Access to culture-conscious therapists and best practices for your well-being. Here are some resources to consider when looking for a therapist:

• The Yellow Couch Collective, an online support group for Black women

• Therapy for Black Girls

• Black Mental Health Alliance

• The National Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Association

• WeRNative

• Nina Pop Mental Health Recovery Fund and Tony McDade Mental Health Recovery Fund, a group that offers therapy sessions to help Black transgender people

• Therapy for Latinx

6. Think about your goals

What do you want to accomplish in therapy? 

Are you looking for a specific treatment approaches?

Your goals may change as you work with a therapist. It’s okay to change the direction of your treatment plan as your needs evolve.

7. Online therapy

Online counseling helps you explore convenient and effective ways to implement therapy in your busy schedule.

8. Ask lots of questions

When you meet your therapist, whether it’s online, on the phone, or in person, ask lots of questions and get a feel for whether a therapist is “the best therapist” for YOU!!

Jot down questions as they come up for you.

The American Psychological Association suggests a few questions for you to consider asking your therapist during your first session:

• Are you a licensed in this state?

• How many years have you been in practice?

• How much experience do you have?

• What do you consider to be your specialty or expertise?

• What kinds of treatments have you found that are effective?

• What insurance do you accept?

• Will I need to pay you directly and then seek reimbursement from my insurance company, or do you bill the insurance company?

• Are you part of my insurance network?

9. Pay close attention to your “gut” to find your “best therapist near me”

No matter how many professional accreditations your therapist has, your own feelings of trust and comfort should be your top priority. Will therapy be uncomfortable from time to time? Possibly. After all, you’ll likely be discussing difficult, personal topics.

But if you feel uncomfortable with your therapist for any other reason, it’s all right to look for someone else.

You don’t need a reason to switch therapists. It’s enough that you don’t feel comfortable.

Here are a few things to notice as you talk with your therapist:

• Does the therapist interrupt you, or do they listen carefully to what you’re saying?

• How does your body feel during a therapy session? Do you feel tense?

• Does the therapist respect your time?

• Does the therapist brush off or invalidate your concerns?

• Do you feel seen, heard, and respected during your session?

The bottom line

Whether you’re coping with grief, trauma, or relationship issues, or want treatment for a mental illness, finding a helpful, and the best therapist for you can make a big difference in your journey.

To find a therapist who’s a good fit, start by considering practical matters like licensure, insurance coverage, location, and specialties.

You may find that friends, colleagues, and your healthcare providers are a good source of referrals. You may also find options by using search tools provided by organizations that address your specific concerns.

When you’ve narrowed down your choices, you may find it helpful to think about your goals and questions, so you can be sure you and your therapist are well matched and aligned on your treatment plan.

Ultimately, finding the “BEST” therapist is a SUBJECTIVE personal matter. Human connection is at the heart of effective therapy, and you can build that sense of connection in person, on the phone, or online.

WISHING YOU THE VERY BEST! If you reach out to me and make an appointment, if for ANY reason, we are not a good fit, I will do my very best to find the “best therapist” for YOU!!!

Liz

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