Gottman Approach and Emotionally Focused Therapy Model Perspective on Wedding Planning with Parents

As Featured in BRIDES Magazine:

Why do brides and grooms often enlist their parents’ help while planning their wedding?

Brides and grooms often seek their parents' help in wedding planning because weddings are significant life events that involve family traditions, values, and expectations. Parents have a wealth of experience and often play a crucial role in family dynamics, making their input valuable and sought after by the couple. Additionally, weddings often bring families together, creating opportunities for connection, collaboration, and shared joy.

What is their typical level of involvement in the planning process?

The level of involvement can vary widely among families and couples. Typically, parents may be involved in major decisions such as venue selection, budgeting, and guest list management. Some parents may take a more active role, while others prefer to be consulted for input when needed. This variability of wedding planning involvement may or may not be correlated with financial aspects of the wedding and who or the amount of money that the parents may be contributing. Their involvement often reflects their desire to contribute meaningfully to the celebration and support their children's choices.

What tasks do the parents typically help their kids with? How do they differ on the bride and groom's side?

Parents often assist with tasks like venue selection, financial planning, and coordinating with vendors. On the bride's side, tasks may include dress shopping, floral arrangements, and décor choices. On the groom's side, tasks might involve selecting attire, transportation, and music or entertainment. However, these roles are becoming more flexible and can vary based on the interests and preferences of the individuals involved.

How should the two sets of parents approach the conversation of helping their kids plan their wedding?

Open communication and collaboration can be the key. Using compassionate  communication principles, AKA Nonviolent Communication (NVC) they can focus on expressing feelings, needs, and requests respectfully.Both sets of parents should approach the conversation with empathy, understanding, and respect for each other's perspectives. It's essential to listen actively, express opinions constructively, and be flexible in compromising to accommodate everyone's wishes.

Is it common for both sets of parents to clash during the wedding planning process? Why? What are some challenges that might arise?

Yes, it is common for both sets of parents to clash during wedding planning due to stress, differing opinions, expectations, and values. Some challenges that might arise include disagreements over finances or budgeting, guest list and who to invite, cultural/ religious or family traditions, and the overall vision for how the wedding “should” go.

How can parents deal when their child’s future in-laws are difficult to interact with during the wedding planning process?

The best way to deal with difficult people in general is to try to use empathy and understanding as much as possible. Most of the time all big reactions or “attacks” are unskilled ways of trying to get a need met. Reactions sabotage connection. Intentional calm responses can help repair the disconnect that may be occurring. Dealing with difficult future in-laws requires patience, understanding, and effective communication. Setting boundaries, maintaining open lines of communication, and focusing on common goals can help navigate challenging interactions. It's also essential to prioritize the couple's wishes and needs while respectfully considering the opinions of all parties involved. Boundary setting and compromise based on needs can be very useful tools to deal with these issues more amicably.

Three to Five Tips to Help Parents Navigate Wedding Planning Together:

1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication among all parties involved. Create a safe space where everyone feels heard, valued, and respected. Discuss expectations, preferences, and concerns openly to avoid misunderstandings. Listen to your parents' perspectives and concerns with an open mind, without interrupting or becoming defensive. Show empathy and understanding towards their feelings and needs.

2. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to respect everyone's roles and responsibilities. Clearly define who is responsible for what tasks and decisions to avoid conflicts and overlapping efforts. Assign specific tasks or responsibilities to your parents that align with their interests and strengths. This can make them feel valued and involved in the planning process. Collaborate on planning aspects of the wedding that are important to your parents, while maintaining autonomy over decisions that are important to you.

3. Flexibility and Compromise: Be flexible and willing to compromise to accommodate everyone's wishes and preferences. Focus on finding common ground and solutions that satisfy everyone involved. Remember, it's a celebration of love and unity, so prioritize harmony and collaboration. Identify and focus on shared goals and values that are important to both you and your parents. This can help align your priorities and reduce conflicts.

4. Seek Professional Help if Needed: Consider seeking professional help from a wedding planner or counselor if tensions rise or conflicts become unmanageable. A neutral third party can offer valuable insights, mediate disputes, and help keep the planning process on track.

5. Celebrate Together: Remember to celebrate the joyous occasion and focus on the love and unity that the wedding represents. Keep a positive attitude, cherish the special moments, and appreciate the opportunity to come together as a family to celebrate this significant milestone.

By following these tips and approaches, parents can navigate the wedding planning process together more seamlessly, fostering understanding, harmony, and collaboration throughout. Prioritizing self-care and stress management to maintain your well-being during the wedding planning process can be super beneficial. Take breaks when needed, engage in activities you enjoy, and seek support from loved ones.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, DCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

Book Appointment

Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

www.SouthTampaCounselor.com

SouthTampaTherapy@gmail.com

Unpack Your Love Baggage with Imago: A Journey from Conflict to Connection

            As therapists, we often find that a communication breakdown is one of the first hurdles couples face in a crisis. In these moments, partners commonly feel disrespected, unseen, or unheard, creating a chasm that seems too broad to bridge. As therapists, we immediately focus on nurturing practical communication skills to address this gap. What’s remarkable is how couples report the benefits of these new skills often extend beyond the therapy room and the romantic relationship—enhancing interactions at work, in social settings, and even with other loved family members.

            In my journey to better serve couples struggling with intimacy and communication issues, I've explored various therapeutic approaches. Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is one method that resonates deeply with me and has shown profound results in practice. Imago facilitates a deeper connection between partners and fosters a compassionate understanding that transforms their interactions across all areas of life.

What is Imago Relationship Therapy?

            Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D., offers a transformative approach for couples to enhance their connection and communication. The term "imago," from Latin meaning "image," represents an unconscious blueprint of familiar love formed during early childhood from our interactions with caregivers. This blueprint profoundly influences our romantic relationships later in life.

            Imago Therapy posits that relationship frustrations arise from a deep desire to heal unresolved childhood issues. Everyone carries an "imago," a composite of early caregivers' traits, which shapes our attractions and drives us unconsciously toward partners who resemble these figures in hopes of healing past wounds.

            Imago Relationship Therapy reveals how these early attachments create internal models that influence how we interact with our partners, often replicating childhood dynamics. These conflicts are seen as barriers and opportunities for significant emotional growth. By addressing these foundational experiences and shifting from blame to empathy, Imago Therapy seeks to transform our relationships into sources of strength and resilience.

How Imago Therapy Enhances Communication:

            Central to Imago Therapy is the Imago Dialogue, a structured communication technique that shifts conversations from conflict to connection. This method involves three key steps:

• Mirroring: Consists of listening to your partner and repeating what you hear, without judgment or interpretation, to show that you truly understand their perspective.

• Validating: Acknowledging that your partner’s thoughts and feelings make sense from their viewpoint.

• Empathizing: Attempting to understand and share the feelings of your partner. 

This dialogue framework helps couples move from adversarial interactions to a deeper empathetic connection, fostering safety and vulnerability.

Creating a Safe Conversation Space:

            Imago therapy emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for conversations. This space allows partners to express their deeper feelings and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or escalation. This safety is key to defusing the reactivity that can characterize troubled relationships, fostering more intentional and hopeful partner interactions.

A Simple Exercise to Try:

            One impactful and simple exercise from Imago Therapy is the Appreciation Dialogue, where partners take turns sharing something they appreciate about the other. This practice reinforces positive interactions using Mirroring and builds a culture of gratitude and recognition within the relationship:

·      One partner begins by saying, "Something I appreciated about you today is..."
·      The other partner listens, mirrors the statement, " I hear you say you appreciate... about me", and responds, "Did I get that right?"
·      The first partner confirms, and the second partner then offers their appreciation.

Benefits of Imago Therapy:

            Couples who engage in Imago therapy can expect improved communication skills and a profound transformation in their relationship dynamics. This therapy helps couples move from blame and isolation to empathy, acceptance, and mutual appreciation, fostering a secure and passionate relationship.

Closing Words:

            Imago Therapy offers couples a unique lens to view their relationship, providing tools for conflict resolution and deep emotional healing and growth. By embracing this therapeutic approach, couples can transform their relationships into a source of strength and fulfillment, ensuring they survive and thrive together.

References: 
Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. (2022). Getting the love you want: A guide for couples. Henry Holt & Company.

Book with this author ~Ari Leal, Therapist, CMHCI: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/AriLeal

Navigating the "Roommate Phase" in Relationships: Tips from a Relationship Counselor

As a relationship counselor, I often find myself discussing the challenges couples face as they navigate the different phases of their relationship. One of the most common phases couples experience is what many refer to as the "roommate phase." This phase can feel distant, routine, and lacking in the emotional and physical connection that once felt effortless.

My partner and I have faced our fair share of roommate phases, and through personal experience and professional knowledge, we've developed strategies to reignite our connection. Drawing from the wisdom of renowned relationship experts like John Gottman and the Emotionally Focused Therapy approach, here are some tips that have worked wonders for us:

1. Intentional Quality Time Set aside a specific time each night to put away distractions, especially phones, and focus solely on each other. This intentional quality time fosters open communication and strengthens emotional connection.

2. Prioritize Date Nights Spending time away from the daily grind and kids is crucial. Date nights allow you to reconnect, have fun together, and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

3. Reignite Physical Intimacy Don't underestimate the power of physical affection. Make an effort to kiss and make out like you used to when your relationship was new and exciting.

4. Sync Your Bedtime Going to bed at the same time can create a sense of closeness and intimacy. It's a simple yet effective way to maintain connection and ensure quality time together.

5. Share Household Chores Teamwork makes the dream work! Sharing household chores fosters collaboration and mutual appreciation, strengthening your bond as a couple.

6. Have Meaningful Conversations Sit down and ask the tough questions:

• "Why are we drifting into the roommate phase?"

• "How can we enhance our connection?"

• "What can we do differently to come back together?"

• "Here's what I need from you. What do you need from me?"

7. Embrace the Little Things Small gestures can make a big difference. Whether it's a good morning kiss or a surprise love note, these little acts of kindness and affection go a long way in maintaining connection.

8. Acknowledge the Phase Recognize that the roommate phase is just that – a phase. It's a natural part of many long-term relationships and an opportunity for growth and reconnection.

Gottman's Insights: John Gottman emphasizes the importance of friendship and fondness in relationships. Cultivate a culture of appreciation and admiration for each other. Remember the qualities that you love and appreciate in your partner and express them regularly.

Emotionally Focused Therapy Tips: Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on creating a secure emotional bond between partners. Validate each other's feelings and emotions, and be open to vulnerability. Create a safe space where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

In conclusion, navigating the roommate phase requires effort, communication, and a commitment to your relationship. By incorporating these tips into your daily life and embracing the guidance of relationship experts like Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy, you can reignite the spark and strengthen your connection with your partner. Remember, every phase is an opportunity to grow and deepen your love for each other.

By Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, NCC, Ph.D

SOUTH TAMPA THERAPY, WELLNESS, MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPY

Book Appointment

Call or Text (813)240-3237

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Marriage & Family Therapist

❤️ Marriage & Family Therapist 💍 Gottman Relationship Counselor 🧠 Licensed Mental Health Counselor 👂🏽 Non-Violent Communication Facilitator 🌎 National Certified Counselor 👩🏼‍⚕️ Private Practitioner 📈 Entrepreneur, Author & Mentor 🎓Qualified Supervisor for State Licensure ⚖️ FL Supreme Court Family Law Mediator 🥅 Solution Focused ✌🏻Conflict Resolver ❤️ Self Compassion & Self Care Advocate 🧘🏼‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditating Yogi 🤔 Daily Intentions & Reflections 🗣 Neuro Linguistic Programming ✏️ Agile Learning Center Founder 📚 Self Directed Education Alliance 🧑‍🌾 Grower: Fruit Trees & Herbs 🍽 Psychology of Eating & Nutrition 👩‍🏫 Life Long Learner... 📍 Tampa, FL & Jurisdiction to practice in FL, CT, NC, SC, MD, VA

Trusting the Process: The Right Mindset for Therapy

What happens when you come into therapy, the first session has ended, and perhaps things don’t feel any better? It can be hard to walk through the process of therapy when we don’t know what to expect or how to cope with the moments that feel hard. What we anticipate from therapy shapes how we perceive and interpret our sessions. Our beliefs about therapy, our therapist, and the effectiveness of the process have a big impact on our experience of it. 

I hope this article brings you reassurance, empowers you to fully engage in therapy, and inspires hope as you navigate your own unique journey. Therapy holds immense value and can indeed serve as the catalyst for the change you seek. I believe these three shifts in perspective can help you develop a mindset that will enable you to get the most out of therapy.

1.     Embrace the Power of Expression

Often, we underestimate the profound impact of having a dedicated space to express ourselves freely, without fear of judgment. While our loved ones may offer support, they might not always possess the necessary tools required to fully understand our experiences. Your therapist is trained to fully immerse themselves in your perspective, offering a safe haven for you to share openly. This commitment is unique because, often, people may not know how to create the supportive environment you deeply desire. It's empowering to acknowledge that you have this sanctuary and someone who is adept at empathy, validation, and impartiality. Simply having a safe space to express can be incredibly therapeutic—it allows us to release pent-up emotions, process our thoughts, and receive the support we crave.

2.     Communicate If Something's Not Working

At times, there might be thoughts lingering in your mind that feel challenging to share with your therapist. If something isn't working or doesn't feel helpful, don't hesitate to discuss it openly. Sharing these concerns can help your therapist better understand your needs and tailor the treatment plan accordingly. Bring forth your fears, worries, and genuine emotions to your therapist—they are equipped to handle it and can provide the support you require. Whether it's frustration over the perceived slow progress or other difficulties, sharing these emotions with your therapist can offer them the opportunity to guide you through them. Occasionally, we may encounter less-than-ideal experiences in therapy where we don't feel properly cared for. This can be deeply disheartening and shake our confidence in the therapy process. However, I encourage you to give therapy another chance. Not every therapist will be the right fit for you, and that's perfectly okay. But remember, this doesn't reflect negatively on therapy as a whole. Therapy can be effective and transformative if you're committed to it. So, consider this your reminder to persevere, even when the journey feels challenging or doesn't meet your expectations. It's also okay to take a break from therapy and return when you're ready. I like to think of each therapy session as planting a seed. While we may not witness immediate growth, with time and nurturing, we can observe positive changes blossoming in our lives.

3.     Give Therapy the Time It Deserves

Therapy isn't a quick fix; it's a gradual process that unfolds over time, sometimes more time than we'd prefer. It's essential to remember that your therapist is human—they can't read your mind or predict your experiences. Making assumptions based on past experiences, whether theirs or others, can be harmful. Each individual is unique, with distinct needs and layers that require exploration. Your therapist needs time to understand who you are and what you're going through fully. They must carefully process and conceptualize your experiences to offer effective support. So, if progress seems slow, remember it's a sign that your therapist is approaching your care with diligence and consideration. Rest assured that even if issues aren't resolved immediately or the first strategies provided don't seem effective, change takes time. There's hope and power in the therapeutic process—real transformation occurs when we deeply understand and connect with the insights gained. Your therapist's role isn't to overwhelm you with information but to guide you toward self-discovery and growth collaboratively. Trust in the process, and with patience, positive change will unfold.

Written by Chelsea Reeves, MFT-I 

Book a session with me using the link below:

https://southtampatherapybookappt.as.me/ChelseaR

Embracing Valentine’s Day: A Pathway to Deeper Connection in Your Relationships

This article is not just for those in romantic relationships; if you're single, this discussion is for you too.

In the realm of relationships, the mention of Valentine's Day often sparks varied reactions. Some eagerly anticipate the romantic gestures and heartfelt exchanges, while others may view it with skepticism or even disdain at the perceived commercialization of the holiday. But what if we approached Valentine's Day with a fresh perspective, seeing it as an opportunity to enhance our connection with our partner?

At the core of every thriving relationship lies the foundation of positive interaction. Moments of intimacy, affection, and shared joy serve as vital threads that weave the fabric of our bond. While it's tempting to subscribe to the notion that "every day is Valentine's Day," the reality is that life's complexities can sometimes overshadow these moments of tenderness. Dr. John Gottman's research underscores the importance of maintaining a ratio of five positive interactions to every negative one in relationships. This imbalance reflects our brain's tendency to weigh negative experiences more heavily, highlighting the significance of actively cultivating positive moments whenever possible.

Valentine's Day, amidst its commercial trappings, can serve as an poignant reminder to prioritize our connection with our partner. It prompts us to pause amidst life's hustle and bustle, to reflect on the state of our relationship and to celebrate the love and affection we share. Whether it evokes feelings of warmth and closeness or highlights areas for growth, Valentine's Day offers a valuable opportunity for introspection and renewal.

It's essential to recognize that expressions of love and intimacy are as diverse as the individuals in a relationship. While grand gestures may resonate with some, others may find solace in simpler, more intimate moments. What truly matters is the intention behind these gestures—the conscious effort to demonstrate love, appreciation, and admiration for our partner.

Admittedly, disappointment or disillusionment with Valentine's Day is not uncommon. The pressure to conform to societal expectations or the fear of falling short can taint our perception of the holiday. Yet, it's crucial to embrace these feelings with compassion and understanding, recognizing that they do not diminish the potential for meaningful connection in the future.

Now, you might be wondering, "What if I'm single?" or "What if my partner and I are not in a good place?"

It’s important to recognize the emotions that Valentine's Day can stir up. The idealized, couple- centric nature of the holiday can magnify our longing for the things we want but do not have. When past hurt lingers or our current relationship feels disconnected, it can be challenging to find joy in such a day.

While these feelings are entirely valid, I encourage you to consider a fresh perspective. Within our vulnerabilities lie opportunities for growth and healing.

Love takes on many forms, extending beyond romantic bonds. Valentine’s Day offers a chance to build meaningful connection in all our relationships. Whether it's arranging a girls' night, writing a note to your daughter, or sharing a quiet breakfast with dad, it’s an opportunity to express appreciation and affection intentionally—to those we love and to ourselves.

Recall the innocence and joy of Valentine's Day in childhood, where receiving candy and tiny store- bought notes sparked boundless delight. Why should that joy diminish with age? Perhaps amidst romantic expectations, lies an opportunity to reconnect with love's purest essence.

Valentine's Day can be an invitation to embrace all of the meaningful connections in our lives. By opening our hearts to love's diverse expressions, we enrich our experience of them, transcending coupledom to embrace the beauty of love in all its manifestations.

Ultimately, the essence of Valentine's Day lies not in extravagant gifts or elaborate displays of affection, but in the genuine intention to cherish and nurture our relationships. So, whether you're a fervent supporter of the holiday or a skeptic at heart, may this serve as an invitation to approach Valentine's Day with an open mind and a willingness to cultivate deeper intimacy and connection with someone you love. After all, love, in its myriad of forms, is always worth celebrating.

Written By Chelsea Reeves, MFTI

Tampa Couples Counseling and South Tampa Marriage Counseling

I specialize in Tampa Couples Counseling and South Tampa Marriage Counseling, offering Relationship Therapy that fosters intimacy and happiness.

As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapist, Ph.D, and a National Certified Counselor (NCC), I prioritize couples' well-being. At my South Tampa Office, I focus on couples, drawing from my Graduate Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT). My approach centers on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Structural Family Therapy addressing conflict, intimacy, and mutual understanding. I also utilize Compassionate Communication (NVC) to help couples and families use the same language to connect, even through the most difficult conversations.

In relationships, unmet needs often lead to misunderstood conflicts. Love transcends right or wrong; it seeks understanding, appreciation, and empathy. Effective communication holds the key to success.

Effective conflict management and communication are pivotal for a thriving relationship. Ignoring conflict breeds resentment, while poor communication is a precursor to separation or divorce.

Rest assured, your situation, though unique, can be unraveled. Couples often fall into predictable conflict patterns, but with guidance, these can be navigated.

In Couples Therapy, we tackle various issues:

• Communication breakdowns

• Recurring conflicts

• Emotional distance

• Relationship strains

• Commitment concerns

• Infidelity challenges

• Trust and boundaries

• Parenting dynamics

• Pre-marital concerns

• Intimacy and sexual difficulties

• Financial or health-related stress

All couples benefit from counseling, even those with normal conflict levels. Strengthening your relationship and coping mechanisms for future challenges are invaluable.

Let's embark on this journey together. Contact (813) 240-3237 to pave the way for happiness with your partner. I'm here to guide you towards a stronger, happier relationship.

Book with Dr. Liz here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Counseling and Therapy for Individuals, Teens, Couples, and Families in South Tampa

I understand it takes bravery to seek help from someone new, but rest assured, I aim to quickly bridge that gap. A client recently offered a touching compliment that deeply resonated with me:

"I've been in counseling for years. You stand out as the best counselor I've known. Why? Because I sense your sincerity."

I offer counseling and therapy for individuals, teens, couples, and families. As a South Tampa Counselor, I've assisted countless clients through various approaches, including individual counseling, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, affair recovery and grief therapy… and much more!

Being a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), I don't use a standard approach; I tailor my methods to suit your distinct needs. My toolkit includes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotion-Focused Therapy, Family Systems, Person-Centered, and Strength-Based approaches, ensuring adaptability for your benefit.

Clients appreciate my hands-on approach at my South Tampa office. As your counselor, I take an active stance in assisting you to reach your objectives, steering clear of merely asking, "How does that make you feel?"

Are you seeking life's purpose or feeling stuck? Let me equip you to harness your thoughts. Together, we can strengthen your confidence and unearth your potential through psychotherapy.

Want to deepen your connection with your partner? Relationships define our joy when they're in harmony. I can steer you toward love, understanding, and healing through marriage counseling and couples therapy.

Whether you're an individual grappling with anxiety, depression, grief, or self-esteem, or a couple seeking intimacy, I'm dedicated to aiding you in building a happier, more fulfilling life.

Book an initial Intake to start making positive changes! 

https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Text Dr. Liz on her cell phone 813-240-3237

Harvard Medical School Training: A Specialized Approach to Couples Counseling

Drawing from my specialized training at Harvard Medical School, I offer a unique approach to couples therapy that addresses the intricacies and challenges specific to intimate relationships. I understand that effective couples therapy requires a deep understanding of relational dynamics, which can sometimes involve defensiveness and the repetition of problematic patterns. Additionally, I recognize the impact of ongoing societal stressors on both couples and therapists.

My approach focuses on navigating complex relational challenges, such as trauma, maintaining stability in relationships, healing from infidelity, addressing consensual non-monogamy, and bridging cultural and attachment differences.

Utilizing concepts from Internal Family Systems Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Socioculturally Attuned Couple Therapy, and other integrative models, I enhance the therapeutic alliance of couples therapy.

Individuals seeking couples therapy will engage in the therapeutic process at South Tampa Therapy and will:

1. Gain insight into how the Internal Family Systems Model provides a primary pathway for healing trauma.

2. Understand the foundational principles of attachment science, providing a roadmap for core interventions and transformative events within Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This approach consistently leads to positive therapeutic outcomes and addresses issues such as depression and trauma echoes in distressed partners.

3. Apply sociocultural attunement as a framework to assess broader contextual influences on power dynamics in their relationship, while also learning strategies to reshape these dynamics.

4. Acquire effective coaching strategies for both betrayed and unfaithful partners, enabling the ability to navigate intense emotions and develop skills for the complex journey towards recovery.

5. Define and differentiate various forms of open couples relationships, including the ethical principles that distinguish these romantic and sexual practices from betrayal and disloyalty.

Book a session with Elizabeth Mahaney, LMHC, MFT, LPC, LCPC, CCTP, NCC, DCC, Ph.D, Gottman & EFT Couples Counselor, NVC Compassionate Communication Specialist, and Trauma Informed Therapist!

https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/initialintake

Transform Your Relationship: Evidence-Based Couples Therapy in South Tampa

Introduction

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, even the strongest relationships can face challenges. If you're seeking to enhance your connection, improve communication, and resolve conflicts, evidence-based couples therapy might be the beacon of hope you're looking for. In this blog post, we'll explore the benefits of evidence-based couples therapy, with a focus on communication and conflict resolution, right here in South Tampa.

Understanding Evidence-Based Couples Therapy

Evidence-based couples therapy is a scientifically validated approach that draws on proven techniques to help couples navigate the complexities of their relationship. It's not about guesswork; it's about using strategies that have been rigorously tested and shown to be effective.

Specializing in Communication

1. Active Listening: Effective communication begins with truly hearing and understanding your partner. Through evidence-based techniques, couples learn the art of active listening, ensuring both voices are heard.

2. Expressing Needs Clearly: Often, miscommunication arises from unclear expressions of needs. In therapy, couples learn to articulate their desires in a way that is constructive and comprehensible to their partner.

3. Non-Verbal Cues: Much of our communication happens without words. Evidence-based therapy helps couples become attuned to non-verbal cues, fostering a deeper level of understanding.

Conflict Resolution: A Vital Component

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. What matters most is how it's handled. Evidence-based couples therapy equips partners with essential conflict resolution skills:

1. Identifying Core Issues: Often, surface-level conflicts mask deeper, underlying issues. Therapy helps unearth these core concerns, allowing for more effective resolution.

2. Constructive Communication during Conflict: Instead of resorting to harmful patterns, couples learn how to communicate constructively even in the midst of disagreement.

3. Finding Common Ground: Evidence-based techniques guide couples towards finding solutions that are acceptable to both parties, strengthening the relationship in the process.

Couples Therapy in South Tampa: Your Path to Transformation

For couples seeking evidence-based therapy specializing in communication and conflict resolution, South Tampa is home to a wealth of experienced and dedicated professionals. With their expertise, you can embark on a journey towards a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Conclusion

In the heart of South Tampa, evidence-based couples therapy is available to guide you towards a more harmonious partnership. By honing your communication skills and mastering conflict resolution, you can transform your relationship into one that thrives. Don't wait to take this important step towards a brighter future together. Reach out to a qualified couples therapist in South Tampa today and rediscover the love and connection you deserve.

Strength in Seeking Help: Debunking the Stigma Surrounding Therapy

In a world that often emphasizes self-reliance and stoicism, it's not uncommon for people to view seeking therapy as a sign of weakness or personal failure. The truth, however, is far from this misconception. Therapy is not a testament to one's weakness or defectiveness; rather, it is an act of courage and strength. In this blog post, we aim to debunk the stigma surrounding therapy and highlight why seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a powerful step towards self-improvement and emotional well-being.

Understanding the Stigma

Before we delve into the reasons why therapy is not weak, let's address the stigma that surrounds it. This stigma often stems from misconceptions about mental health and the belief that admitting you need help equates to admitting weakness. In reality, mental health struggles are incredibly common, and seeking therapy is a proactive and responsible way to address them.

Acknowledging Vulnerability is a Sign of Strength

One of the most significant misconceptions about therapy is that it's only for those who can't handle their problems on their own. This couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, therapy is a space where individuals can explore their feelings, vulnerabilities, and challenges with the guidance of a trained professional. Acknowledging that you have vulnerabilities and are willing to work on them takes immense strength.

Therapy Promotes Self-Reflection

Therapy provides an opportunity for deep self-reflection and personal growth. It encourages individuals to confront their fears, past traumas, and unresolved issues. This introspective journey is an essential part of personal development and is far from a sign of weakness. It takes immense courage to face one's own demons and work towards a better, healthier self.

Developing Coping Skills

Life is full of challenges, and no one is immune to stress, anxiety, or difficult experiences. Therapy equips individuals with valuable coping skills and strategies to navigate these challenges effectively. Seeking help to learn how to cope with life's ups and downs is a proactive and intelligent decision, not a sign of weakness.

Overcoming Social and Cultural Stigmas

Society often perpetuates the myth that seeking help for mental health issues is a sign of weakness. This cultural stigma can be particularly harmful, as it discourages individuals from seeking the support they need. However, as more people openly discuss their experiences with therapy and mental health, these stigmas are gradually eroding. Choosing therapy contributes to this positive change and helps break down harmful stereotypes.

The Courage to Heal

Many individuals who seek therapy have experienced significant trauma or difficult life events. The courage it takes to confront past traumas, heal emotional wounds, and work towards a brighter future is a testament to inner strength. It is a decision to actively reclaim one's life and well-being, not a sign of weakness.

Therapy as a Preventive Measure

Therapy isn't just for crisis moments; it's a valuable tool for maintaining good mental health and preventing future issues. Regular therapy sessions can help individuals build emotional resilience, improve self-awareness, and develop healthy relationships. Proactively investing in your mental health is a powerful choice that demonstrates strength and wisdom.

A Supportive and Confidential Environment

Therapists provide a safe and confidential space for individuals to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This environment fosters trust and allows individuals to explore their emotions honestly. Seeking this kind of support is a responsible and brave act.

In conclusion, seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness; it's a testament to courage, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth. The stigma surrounding therapy is rooted in misconceptions about mental health and outdated stereotypes. By choosing therapy, individuals demonstrate their strength in acknowledging vulnerability, promoting self-reflection, developing coping skills, and actively working towards a better future.

It's time to debunk the myth that seeking help is a sign of weakness. Instead, let's celebrate those who have the courage to heal, the wisdom to invest in their mental health, and the strength to seek therapy. In doing so, we can collectively contribute to a society that values mental health and understands that seeking therapy is an act of bravery, not weakness.

By Kaitlin Lowey: Book with her here: https://SouthTampaTherapyBOOKAPPT.as.me/KaitlinLowey

Practice Empathy in Three Ways: Cognitively, Emotionally, and Somatically

You must first take off your own shoes to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

We stretch our hearts and minds beyond our own experiences, viewpoints, and feelings in order to imagine what it's like to be inside someone else's head. We employ imagination, creativity, and instinct to envision what life is like for them.

Listening with empathy is a fundamental component of coming from curiosity and care, as well as the foundation of discussion. Here are three strategies to start practicing incorporating more empathy into your daily life that integrate living purposefully and empathetically.

PRACTICE: Empathy

It's important to remember that practicing this doesn't have to be limited to situations in which you are the center of attention. Its easier to feel for others when you aren't being attacked. Remember that empathy isn't something you put into words; it's a quality of presence in your heart. Aim to comprehend the other person's situation and let the conversation unfold organically.

SILENT EMPATHIC PRESENCE: Practice listening completely, with the heartfelt intention to understand and "feel into" what the other person is saying. How is this issue for them?

PARAPHRASE: After listening, summarize the gist of what you've heard. What are the key features of what they've said? It's also possible that repeating just a few words will be enough.

EMPATHIC REFLECTION: After listening, check that you understand by reflecting what you hear is most important to them. This may include how they feel and/or what they need. What's at the heart of this individual's narrative? What can you do to assist them to feel understood? Remember to phrase your reflections as questions and double-check that you're correct.

There are other methods for conveying compassion. We may convey empathy by giving a kind word, with a loving touch, or by describing how we're feeling in response to what we've heard. By expressing interest with open-ended questions like "Tell me more," "What else?"

As an example, my daughter's friend a freshman who is usually cheerful and bubbly, began showing up early to practice. I struck up a conversation and realized how much she was struggling. This friend was saying, "I don't want to go to this school anymore," and was thinking about dropping out. I noticed the impulse to go into problem-solving mode, an old habit of mine. Having just finished another book on empathy, I paused and decided to try listening instead. "Tell me more. What's going on?"

She began to open up. She was being bullied. She felt sad, alone, and depressed. Every time I noticed the urge to fix or solve, I attended to feeling the weight of my body and my feet on the floor, and resisted the temptation to offer solutions. I focused my attention on what she was feeling and reflected what I was hearing. She began to cry, oscillating between speaking, sobbing, and awkwardly making eye contact as if to check whether all of this was okay. There were a lot of tears, tissues, and long moments in which I simply held her gaze.

She spoke more about her feelings of sadness, loneliness, and not feeling valued. "I've felt like this since first grade," she mentioned. "Was that the first time you felt so sad and alone?" I inquired. No, it started when she was three, when her dad left. They looked at each other, realizing they'd hit the root of her pain. Eventually they explored what she might need at school. They came up with some strategies to address the bullying. She decided to stay in school and to make a public art piece for the classroom about depression.

This is the power of which empathy may help us. With a listening spirit, we can absorb each statement made, each emotion felt. Healing and change are possible if we come from a place of curiosity and care rather than our usual mode of behavior.

PRINCIPLES

People are more likely to be willing to listen when they feel heard. To build understanding, reflect before you respond.

KEY POINTS

The desire to comprehend is frequently expressed through listening, which entails putting away our own ideas, emotions, opinions, and views temporarily.

We can listen in many ways:

• With complete, wholehearted presence

• To the content of what someone says

• To the feelings and needs beneath the content

Staying connected in conversation helps us build understanding and

collaborate:

DON'T LET THE CALL DROP: Seek to establish and maintain connection in conversation.

REFLECT BEFORE YOU RESPOND: Confirm that you're hearing each other accurately before moving on. This "completes a cycle' of communication.

At the heart of listening is empathy, which includes:

• Cognitive empathy: seeing things from another's perspective

• Affective empathy: feeling another's emotions

• Somatic empathy: sensing another's embodied experience

Q & A

Q: What if someone wants advice? Is that ever okay?

Of course. When someone asks for advice, you might try offering empathy

first. I'll often say, I'm happy to share some of my ideas, but first I just want

to take in what you've said. I'll follow that with an empathic reflection of

what I'm hearing and check if I've understood. This can help the other

person process their experience and clarify what matters. I then circle back

to inquire if they still want advice; sometimes it's no longer relevant.

If the tables are turned and you want to give someone advice, check

first. Let them know: "I have an idea that I think might be helpful. Are you

open to some advice?" This honors their autonomy, minimizes the chances

that your input will be disempowering, and guards against giving advice

as a way of soothing your own anxiety.

Q: I've been exploring these empathy tools with close friends and family

and my new approach creates a lot of awkwardness. What do you do

when others expect you to communicate in a certain way?

It can be confusing when our attempts to create more connection backfire.

Part of what you are experiencing is the relational dimension of communication habits. They occur in a dynamic, so when we shift it affects others.

It also may simply be the learning curve; it takes time to find an authentic

voice with these tools.

Let go of the form and focus on your genuine intention to connect.

What would help this person to feel heard? If someone is used to us

showing care by asking questions or agreeing and we respond by reflecting

their needs, that may throw them off. Try to tune in to what they want.

When all else fails, let people know that you're trying something new that

you hope will bring you closer. Ask them to humor you while you learn.